This picture of at least 10 cats would be
an ideal composition for a jigsaw puzzle.
What is a Cat?
Cats do what they want.
They rarely listen
They're totally unpredictable.
When you want to play, they want to be alone.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They expect you to cater to their every whim.
They leave hair everywhere.
Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats.
Cat Partying - Stairway to Heaven!
Cats' Karaoke Party
Karaoke Cats Caterwauling
Cat and Mouse
All the world's a cage. Jeanne Phillips
My, what big teeth you have!
Cat's Party with a Difference
Dante: The Vegetarian Cat
A vet friend of Will and Guy has informed us that cats are obligate
carnivores* and therefore cannot be vegetarian.
Dante, a rescued cat, has come to our notice and appears to disprove this
theory. Found close to starvation as a kitten and by owner Becky Page, Dante
was offered meat, fish - all types of cat food, and he rejected them all
only to wolf down a plateful of vegetables.
His favourites include included melon, bananas, broccoli, rhubarb,
asparagus, aubergine and Brussels sprouts we have learned.
Dante remains very healthy on his chosen diet and has been described as a
"very rare cat." We agree.
*Obligate carnivores: An obligate or true carnivore is an animal that
must eat meat in order to survive. They may consume other products presented
to them, especially animal products like eggs and bone marrow or sweet
sugary substances like honey and syrup, but, as these items are not
essential, they do not consume these on a regular basis. True carnivores
lack the physiology required for the efficient digestion of vegetable
matter, and, in fact, some carnivorous mammals eat vegetation specifically
as an emetic. The domestic cat is a prime example of an obligate carnivore,
as are all of the other felines.
Cat and Dog Diaries
Excerpts from a
Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
- Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must
learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.... for now.
Cats Are So Dramatic!
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