- 12 Days of Christmas Pictures
- The Meaning of ’12 Days of Christmas’
- The Twelve Days of Christmas – Funny Thank-you Notes
- Memo to Departments During the Christmas Credit Crunch
- 12 Pains of Christmas by Bob Rivers
- A Christmas Love Song
- Twas The Night Before Christmas
- Funny Christmas Carols
12 Days of Christmas
On this page, as a change from jokes, we feature the beautiful 12 days
of Christmas pictures. Take a restful scroll through this classic verse or just count with the pictures.
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A Partridge in a Pear Tree.
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Two Turtle
Doves
and a partridge in a pear tree.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Three French
hens,
two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
12 Days of Christmas Pictures of Days 1-3
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Four
Calling Birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear
tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Five Golden
Rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a
partridge in a pear tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Six Geese
a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three
French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
12 Days of Christmas Pictures of Days 4-6
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Seven
Swans a-swimming,
six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds, three
French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Eight Maids
a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying. Five golden rings.
Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a
partridge in a pear tree.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Nine Ladies
Dancing,
eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese
a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds, three French hens,
two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
12 Days of Christmas Pictures of Days 7-9
On the tenth of Christmas, my true love gave to me Ten Lords
a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans
a-swimming, six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds,
three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me Eleven
Pipers Piping, ten lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking,
seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four
calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in
a pear tree.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Twelve
Drummers Drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a-leaping,
nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming,
six geese a-laying. Five golden rings. Four calling birds, three
French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
12 Days of Christmas Pictures of Days 10-12
Based on original pictures of:
12 days of Christmas Pictures
The Meaning of ’12 Days of Christmas’
There is one particular Christmas Carol that has
always baffled Will and Guy. What in the world do leaping lords, French
hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won’t come out of the
pear tree have to do with Christmas?
We would like to thank a site
reader, who emailed us, to let us know the real meaning behind this carol.
From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to
practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a
catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the
surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church.
Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the
children could remember.
- The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
- Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.
- Three French hens
stood for faith, hope and love. - The four calling birds were the four
gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. - The five golden rings recalled
the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament. - The six
geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation. - Seven swans a-swimming
represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit: Prophesy, Serving,
Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy. - The eight
maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes. - Nine ladies dancing were the
nine fruits of the Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness,
Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control. - The ten lords
a-leaping were the ten commandments. - The eleven pipers piping stood for
the eleven faithful disciples. - The twelve drummers drumming symbolized
the twelve points of belief in the Apostles’ Creed.
So there is your
history for today.
This knowledge was shared with us and we found it
interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a
Christmas Carol, so pass it on if you wish.
Merry [Twelve Days of] Christmas Everyone!
The
Twelve Days of Christmas – Funny Thank-you Notes
December 25
My dearest darling Peter,
What a wonderful
surprise has just greeted me! That sweet partridge, in that lovely little
pear-tree; what an enchanting, romantic, poetic present! Bless you, and
thank you.
Your deeply loving,
Tracey
December 26
Beloved Peter,
The two turtle-doves
arrived this morning, and are cooing away in the pear-tree as I write. I’m
so touched and grateful!
With undying love, as always,
Tracey
December 27
My darling Peter,
You do think of the most
original presents! Who ever thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do
they really come all the way from France? It’s a pity we have no chicken
coops, but I expect we’ll find some. Anyway, thank-you so much; they’re
lovely.
Your devoted,
Tracey
December 28
Dearest Peter,
What a surprise! Four
calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do
call rather loudly – they make telephoning almost impossible – but I expect
they’ll calm down when they get used to their new home. Anyway, I’m very
grateful, of course I am.
Love from Tracey
December 29
Dearest,
The mailman has just delivered
five most beautiful gold rings, one for each finger, and all fitting
perfectly! A really lovely present! Lovelier, in a way, than birds, which do
take rather a lot of looking after. The four that arrived yesterday are
still making a terrible row, and I’m afraid none of us got much sleep last
night. Mother says she wants to use the rings to “wring” their necks. Mother
has such a sense of humour. This time she’s only joking, I think, but I do
know what she means. Still, I love the rings.
Bless you,
Tracey
December 30
Dear Peter ,
Whatever I expected to find
when I opened the front door this morning, it certainly wasn’t six socking
great geese laying eggs all over the porch. Frankly, I rather hoped that you
had stopped sending me birds. We have no room for them, and they’ve already
ruined the croquet lawn. I know you meant well, but let’s call a halt, shall
we?
Love,
Tracey
December 31
Peter,
I thought I said NO MORE BIRDS.
This morning I woke up to find no more than seven swans, all trying to get
into our tiny goldfish pond. I’d rather not think what’s happened to the
goldfish. The whole house seems to be full of birds, to say nothing of what
they leave behind them, so please, please, stop!
Your Tracey
January 1
Frankly, I prefer the birds. What am I to do
with eight milkmaids? And their cows! Is this some kind of a joke? If so,
I’m afraid I don’t find it very amusing.
Tracey
January 2
Look here, Peter,
This has gone far enough.
You say you’re sending me nine ladies dancing. All I can say is, judging
from the way they dance, they’re certainly not ladies. The village just
isn’t accustomed to seeing a regiment of shameless viragos, with nothing on
but their lipstick, cavorting round the green, and it’s mother and I who get
the blame. If you value our friendship, which I do (less and less), kindly
stop this ridiculous behaviour at once!
Tracey
January 3
As I write this letter, 10 disgusting old men
are prancing up and down all over what used to be the garden, before the
geese and the swans and the cows got at it. And several of them, I have just
noticed, are being a nuisance with the milkmaids. Meanwhile the neighbours
are trying to have us evicted. I shall never speak to you again.
Tracey
January 4
This is the last straw! You know I detest
bagpipes! The place has now become something between a menagerie and a
madhouse, and a man from the council has just declared it unfit for
habitation. At least Mother has been spared this last outrage; they took her
away yesterday afternoon in an ambulance to a home for the bewildered. I
hope you’re satisfied.
January 5
Sir,
Our client, Miss Tracey Hoile , instructs me to inform you that with the
arrival on her premises at 7:30 this morning of the entire percussion
section of the Boston Symphony Orchestra, and several of their friends, she
has no course left open to her but to seek an injunction to prevent you
importuning her further. I am making arrangements for the return of much
assorted livestock.
Yours sincerely
J. Nutter
Solicitor.
Partridge Memo to:-
All Departments During the Christmas Credit Crunch
Effective immediately: the following economizing measures are being
implemented by the ‘Twelve Days of Christmas’ subsidiary
- The partridge
will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop
forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing
considerable savings in maintenance - Two turtle doves represent a
redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance
during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are, therefore,
eliminated - The three French hens will remain intact. After all,
everyone loves the French - The four calling birds will be replaced by an
automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is
underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how
long they talked - The five golden rings have been put on hold by the
Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could
have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into
other precious metals, as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology
stocks, appear to be in order - The six geese-a-laying constitutes a
luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the
production rate of one egg per goose per day was an example of the general
decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the
selection procedure by Human Resources will assure management that, from now
on, every goose it gets will be a good one - The seven swans-a-swimming
is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily
decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be
retrained to learn some new strokes, thereby enhancing their outplacement - As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy
scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being
sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward
mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending,
a-mentoring or a-mulching - Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd
number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and
can no longer do the steps - Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords, plus the expense of international air travel, prompted the
Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work
congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings
are significant as we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this
year. - Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case
of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback
on new music, and no uniforms, will produce savings which will drop right to
the bottom line.
Overall we can expect a substantial reduction in
assorted people, fowl, animals and related expenses. Though incomplete,
studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient.
If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.
Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorneys association seeking
expansion to include the legal profession [‘Thirteen lawyers-a-suing’], a decision is
pending.
Deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to remain
competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to
scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right
number.
Depression Causes Price Re-evaluation of 12 Days of Christmas
The price of partridges, pear trees and turtle doves has risen massively
comment Will and Guy; pushing the cost of every item mentioned in the carol
“The Twelve Days of Christmas”, above $100,000 for the first time.
Prices holding mostly steady this year, we have discovered include:
maids-a-milking, ladies dancing, lords-a-leaping and gold rings.
The 364 items repeated across all the song’s verses would cost $101,119,
an increase of 4.4 percent over 2010, according to the annual Christmas
Price Index compiled by PNC Wealth Management. The broader government
Consumer Price Index increased by 3.9 percent over the same period.
Those with the money to spend would end up with 12 drummers drumming, 22
pipers piping, 30 lords-a-leaping, 36 ladies dancing, 40 maids-a-milking, 42
swans-a-swimming, 42 geese-a-laying, 40 gold rings, 36 calling birds, 30
French hens, 22 turtle doves, and 12 partridges in pear trees. Please be
aware, says Will that the price does not include bird maintenance. However,
Guy reveals: buying just one set of each verse in the song will cost $24,263
this year, a moderate 3.5 percent rise.
Eleven pipers piping will set you back $2,427, but that’s a relative
bargain compared to seven swans-a-swimming, which cost $6,300. That’s a 12.5
percent rise over last year.
Jim Dunigan, managing executive of
investment for PNC Wealth Management, said the core rate of increase is less
than half the 9.2 percent jump last year.
‘The story in general is wages are still a very sluggish part of this
economy,’ said Dunigan, who noted that the price of eight maids-a-milking at
minimum wage was $58 – the same as in 2009.
Five gold rings even declined a bit, Dunigan said, to $645, from $650
last year.
Last-minute shoppers who turn to the Internet may be in for
some surprises. The core list that costs about $24,000 in stores will come
to $39,860 online – a whopping 16.1 percent increase over Internet prices
last year. Dunigan said the high cost of shipping live birds explains some
of the difference.
Six items didn’t go up in cost this year: French hens, calling birds,
gold rings, maids-a-milking, ladies dancing and lords-a-leaping. Pipers
piping and drummers drumming rose 3 percent. The partridge is still the
cheapest item, at $15, and swans the most expensive.
12 Pains of Christmas by Bob
Rivers
The first thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Is finding a
Christmas tree
The second thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Rigging up the
lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The third thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fourth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Sending
Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a
Christmas tree
The fifth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Five months of
bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The sixth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Facing my
in-laws
Five months of bills!
Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree
The seventh thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
The Salvation
Army
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas
cards
Oh, geez!
I’m tryin’ to rig up these lights!
And finding a
Christmas tree
The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:
I WANNA
TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
Charities,
And whataya mean “YOUR
in-laws”?!?
Five months of bills!
Ach, making out these cards
Honey, get me a beer, huh?
What, we have no extension cords?!?
And
finding a Christmas tree
The ninth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Finding parking
spaces
DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!
Donations!
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Writing out those Christmas cards
Hangovers!
Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?
And finding a Christmas tree
The tenth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
“Batteries Not
Included”
No parking spaces
BUY ME SOMETHIN’!!!
Get a job, ya bum!
Facing my in-laws!
Five months of bills!
Yo-ho, sending Christmas
cards
Oh, geez, look at this!
One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
And finding a Christmas tree
The eleventh thing of Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Stale TV
specials
“Batteries Not Included”
No parking spaces
DAD, I GOTTA GO
TA BATHROOM!!
Charities!
She’s a witch…I hate her!
Five months of
bills!
Oh, I don’t even KNOW half these people!
Oh, who’s got the
toilet paper, huh?
Get a flashlight…I blew a fuse!!
And finding a
Christmas tree
The twelfth thing of Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Singing
Christmas carols
Stale TV specials
“Batteries Not Included”
No
parking?!?
WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
Charities!
Gotta make ’em
dinner!
Five months of bills!
I’m not sendin’ them this year, that’s
it!
Shut up, you!
FINE! YOU’RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!
And finding a Christmas tree.
See our collection of Christmas
poems for children.
A Christmas Love Song
All I want for Christmas is you
You’re the gift that’s made my dreams all come
true –
All I need for Christmas is here
Finding every sweet surprise
Wrapped up in your eyes
Waiting there for me
Underneath the tree
We’ll spend the day
Exchanging kisses
Smile
and say ‘What a Christmas this is’
Long before the snowflakes appear
Without bells and mistletoe
or the tinsel’s silver glow
You just look at me and oh – Christmas is here
Long before the
snowflakes appear
Without bells and mistletoe
or the tinsel’s silver glow
You just look at me and oh – Christmas is here
Hannah’s Ditty
Knock. Knock.
Who’s there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
Hannah
partridge in a pear tree!
[Apologies to my daughter, Hannah, says Will]
Twas The Night Before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
the stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I, in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winters nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open
the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,
But a miniature
sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
Now Dasher!, now, Dancer!, now Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet!, on, Cupid!, on, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash way! Dash away!
Dash away all!
‘Twas The Day After Christmas
‘Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house
Children sat
slack-jawed, bored on the couch.
… see more of
Twas The Day
After Christmas here.
This version of ‘Twas the night before Christmas’ was written by a peace keeping soldier
Twas the night before Christmas
He lived all alone
In a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone
I had come down the chimney with presents to give
And to see just who in this home did
live
I looked all about a strange sight I did see
No tinsel no presents not even a tree
No stocking by the mantle just boots filled with sand
On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands
With medals and badges awards of all kinds
A sober thought came through my mind
For this house was different it was dark and dreary
I found the home of a soldier once I could see clearly
The
soldier lay sleeping silent alone
Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home
The face was so gentle the room in such disorder
Not how I pictured a lone British soldier
Was this the hero
of whom I’d just read
Curled up on a poncho the floor for a bed
I realised the families that I saw this night
Owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight
Soon round the
world the children would play
And grownups would celebrate a bright Christmas day
They all enjoy freedom each month of the year
Because of the soldiers like the one lying here
I couldn’t
help wonder how many alone
On a cold Christmas eve in a land far from home
The very though brought a tear to my eye
I dropped to my knees and started to cry
The soldier awakened and I heard
a rough voice
‘Santa don’t cry this life is my choice
I fight for freedom I don’t ask for more
My life is my god, my country. my corps’
The soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep
I
couldn’t control it I continued to weep
I kept watch for hours so silent and still
And we both sat and shivered from the cold nights chill
I didn’t want to leave on that cold dark night
This
guardian of honour so willing to fight
Then the soldier rolled over with a voice soft and pure
Whispered ‘carry on Santa its Christmas day all is secure’
One look at my watch and I knew he was
right
‘Merry Christmas my friend and to all a good night’
‘Twas
the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck
‘Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck.
How to live in a
world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to
“Elves”.
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
And
labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle
the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the
wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet
and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed
dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his
pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was
called “Unenlightened.”
And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was
suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front
of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half
of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she’d enough
of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from
now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he’d never had a
notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of
leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for
her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to
shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just
girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets, they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to
embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like
Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those
psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football, someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing
sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be
passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just
stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to
do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you’ve got to be careful
with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a
gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people,
every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere, even
you.
So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth.
May you and your
loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.