Jokes for May The Nutty Soldier Big Eric Tempus Fugit (Time Flies) A Soldier is Always Prepared Absolutely useless trivia The Nutty Soldier Our mission is to amuse you with a wide variety of jokes, amusing anecdotes and thought provoking images. We also aim to surprise, but never shock you. A general noticed one …
One-liners Weather Snippets Careers may end in this way (Good One-liners) One-liners Gandhi was once asked what he thought of Western Civilisation. Gandhi replied, ‘I think that it would be a very good idea.’ A father who called his son ‘Fined Six Thousand and Five Hundred’ – the amount he had to pay in local …
June’s Candidates for Loser of the Month Man uses Petrol as Cleaner Pants on Fire World Cup thief’s own goal Pickpocket – Picks wrong target Robbery Leaves Nasty Stink Some people are winners AND thieves: First runner in our ‘Loser of the Month’ competition Man uses Petrol as Cleaner A man blew up his …
Jackson’s American Uncle Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army …
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative drug on the same night. 2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often. 3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match …
Letter of the Month – Dear Abby Letter of the Month – Dear Abby Dear Abby, I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs. phone rings but if I answer, the caller …
These examples of ‘Misnomers’ were reported in The Guardian newspaper in February 2006. These words are both informative and amusing: 1. Arabic numerals originated in India. 2. The Peanut is a legume, [i.e. fruit/vegetable] not a nut. 3. Tin cans and tin foil are constructed from aluminium, not tin. 4. Madison Square Garden, USA is …
Mechanic v Doctor Story Allan, a mechanic, was removing a cylinder head from a Harley-Davidson motorbike, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his garage. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike. Allan shouted across the garage, ‘Hey Doc can I ask you …
Pet-sitting A young girl in New York City was pet-sitting a dog while a couple was out of town on vacation. Unfortunately, the dog died from natural causes while the owners were away on their holiday. This girl phoned the dog’s owners and asked them what she should do. Since they were going to be …
Dog Ice-cream Will and Guy thought that dog ice-cream was just another shaggy dog story; we should have known better, there are numerous real products for this growing market. Another example of role reversal where the pets control their owners? Doggy treats Yoghund We assumed from the name ‘Yoghund’ that this peanut butter and …