Clean Jokes

clean jokes

Jokes For May

Jokes for May The Nutty SoldierBig EricTempus Fugit (Time Flies)A Soldier is Always PreparedAbsolutely useless trivia   The Nutty Soldier Our mission is to amuse you with a wide variety of jokes, amusing anecdotes and thought provoking images.  We also aim to surprise, but never shock you. A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving …

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Clean jokes for August Jokes.

One-linersWeather SnippetsCareers may end in this way (Good One-liners) One-liners Gandhi was once asked what he thought of Western Civilisation. Gandhi replied, ‘I think that it would be a very good idea.’ A father who called his son ‘Fined Six Thousand and Five Hundred’ – the amount he had to pay in local currency in …

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June’s Loser of the Month

June’s Candidates for Loser of the Month Man uses Petrol as CleanerPants on FireWorld Cup thief’s own goalPickpocket – Picks wrongtargetRobberyLeaves Nasty StinkSome people are winners AND thieves:   First runner in our ‘Loser of the Month’ competition Man uses Petrol as Cleaner A man blew up his house as he washed his kitchen floor …

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Jackson jokes

Jackson’s American Uncle Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army …

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39 things you should know

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative drug on the same night. 2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often. 3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match …

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Assorted Jokes

Letter of the Month – Dear Abby Letter of the Month – Dear Abby Dear Abby, I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice.  I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs. phone rings but if I answer, the caller …

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Misnomers

These examples of ‘Misnomers’were reported in The Guardian newspaper in February 2006. These words are both informative and amusing: 1. Arabic numerals originated in India. 2. The Peanut is a legume, [i.e.fruit/vegetable] not a nut. 3. Tin cans and tin foil are constructed from aluminium, not tin. 4. Madison Square Garden, USA is not square …

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Mechanic v Doctor Story

Mechanic v Doctor Story Allan, a mechanic, was removing a cylinder head from a Harley-Davidson motorbike, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his garage. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike. Allan shouted across the garage, ‘Hey Doc can I ask you …

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Extra Funny Jokes

  Dog Ice-cream Will and Guy thought that dog ice-cream was just another shaggy dogstory; we should have known better, there are numerous real products forthis growing market.  Another example of role reversal where the petscontrol theirowners? Doggy treats Yoghund We assumed from the name ‘Yoghund’ that this peanut butter and frozen yogurt came from …

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