Nothing succeeds like a parrot with no teeth!
- Parrot Exposes Cheating Husband
- Don't Talk to my Parrot
- Parrot Saves Man
- Another Funny Parrot Story
- Mama's Parrot Story
- Funny Parrot Story
parrot teaches African greys to swear
- Interesting Facts About
A cheating husband was exposed after his wife's
parrot mimicked his voice calling out another woman's
Frank Ficker, 50, has now been kicked out of the family
home by wife Petra, also 50, after she heard their 12-year-old parrot Hugo impersonating him on the phone to another woman.
Petra, of Freiburg, Germany, said, 'Hugo always liked to mimic Frank and he
could do his voice perfectly.
'Frank asking who's
at the door, Frank yelling at our nephews, Frank telling me he loved me. And then one day I heard him doing Frank's
voice, but saying 'Uta, Uta'.'
Petra turned the house upside down and found two plane tickets for a weekend break in Paris booked for her husband - and a mystery woman named Uta.
She said, 'I kicked him straight out. It's
just me and
my parrot now.'
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, 'I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on
the counter, and I'll mail you a check.' 'Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you.
But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!'
REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!' When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he had ever seen.
Just as she had
said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally
the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled:
'Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!'
To which the parrot replied, 'Get him, Spike!'
So, you see, men just
don't listen !
One day David went to an auction. While he was there, he bid for a parrot. David really wanted this bird, so he got caught up and thoroughly involved in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting
outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.
Finally, after he had bid much more than he had intended, David won the bid; the parrot was his at last.
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to
the auctioneer, 'I hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't
said the auctioneer, 'He can talk. Who do you think kept
bidding against you?'
I once fell into conversation with an auctioneer. After
a few beers, the auctioneer confessed that sometimes he took
phantom bids 'against the wall'
in order to hype up the price.
A noisy parrot that enjoys imitating sounds has helped save a man and his son
from a house fire by sounding like a smoke alarm, the bird's owner reports.
Shannon Conwell, 33, said he and his 9 year-old son fell asleep on the sofa
while watching a film. They awoke at about 3 o'clock in the morning to find
their home on fire after hearing the family's Amazon parrot, Peanut, imitating a
'He was really screaming his head off,' Conwell said. The smoke alarm had
activated, but it was the bird's call that caught Conwell's attention. 'I
grabbed my son and my bird, and got out of the house,' he said. The fire
destroyed the home's dining room, kitchen and bedroom, Muncie, Indiana, USA,
fire officials said. Aside from Peanut, Conwell said the fact that he and his
son fell asleep on the couch helped save them. They may not have heard the alarm
or the bird if they were asleep in their bedrooms.
A parrot spent five days under police 'interrogation'
in an Argentina prison
The judge ordered Pepo the parrot to be held in custody until he told police who was his real owner, reports UOL.
Two neighbours, Jorge Machado and R Vega, were disputing ownership of the bird.
Judge Osvaldo Carlos decided the parrot should be kept in prison until he said the name of his owner.
After five days, Pepo said Jorge's
name, and the parrot also sung the anthem of his favourite football team San
Mr Machado said: 'I knew he wasn't
going to let me down, he is a real friend and we support the same football team'.
This parrot story shows that sometimes fact is stranger than fiction.
The above funny parrot story reminds us of a case parrot-napping in in Margate,
Kent, England. Sue Parsons had an African Grey called 'Pickle'. In
January 2008 Pickle disappeared from Sue's doorstep.
Then Sue heard that a similar parrot arrived in nearby pub called the King
Edward VII. Naturally, Sue visited the pub and when she checked out the
parrot, she thought it was her missing Pickle. The face was the same (do
they all look the same), however it repeated noises Sue made instantly.
The pub landlady disputes Ms Parson's claim, and refuses to hand over the parrot
for DNA testing. Will and Guy cannot help thinking they should fly in
Judge Osvaldo Carlos, as he solved the Argentinian case above.
Bird 'Red-Carded' at Soccer Match
A parrot has caused chaos at a football match. The parrot, known as Me-Tu
was accompanying owner Irene Kerrigan to a game between Hertfordshire
Rangers and Hatfield Town, England, recently.
Will and Guy have established that the referee Gary Bailey, sent the
large green parrot from the touchline because, 'Every time I blew my whistle
the bird made exactly the same sound. The players all stopped so I had to
ask her to move the parrot. I've never sent off a parrot before.'
As well as whistling Me-Tu also shouted "pretty boy" at the players from
his cage on the sidelines.
Ms Kerrigan told us, 'He loves his football
and I'll take him back down there.'
Incidentally Hatfield Town beat the parrot's team 5-2.
See more football
Police called out to investigate reports of a young child left home alone found a talking parrot instead. Police were called to the house in Koblenz, Germany, by an elderly lady who said she could hear a child
next door constantly screaming, 'Mama, Mama'. The woman felt the child must have been left home alone as nobody was answering the cries. When officers broke into the house they found the cries were coming from
a 25-year-old talking parrot.
It's strange how parrots mimic children behaviour. For example, the more that you try and
stop young children swearing the more they repeat the offending words.
Geoff Grewcock, owns the Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary in Nuneaton,
England. He has had trouble with Barney his macaw parrot swearing. The more
Geoff has tried to stop Barney, the more he swears.
Another feature of naughty children and parrots is that the reserve their
worst behaviour for your most important guests. It may have been
asking for trouble to have Barney around when the mayor came on a civic
visit. True to form, Barney swore at the Mayor, and when the vicar tried to
diffuse the situation, Barney swore at him too.
Another thing that naughty children do is teach swear words to their best
friends. Again there is a parallel with parrots. Lately, Barney
has incensed his patriarch Geoff Grewcock by teaching his offensive vocabulary to Sam and Charlie who
are African greys.
- The African grey is the champion parrot at mimicking and taking.
Unusually, in Will and Guy's experience, it's the male African grey who
is often the better talker, the females just seem to listen -
- In 2007 it was reported that an African grey called N'kisi, has a
vocabulary of over 900 words. That's 800 more than the average soccer
manager, furthermore, unlike most managers, N'kisi has a sense of humour.
- The only trouble with African grey is they don't look the part.
For a genuine pirate type parrot with attitude, you cannot beat the
macaw. (See picture above of swearing parrot)
- Amongst the macaws, it is the Military macaw which is the best
talker, however it's conservation status is 'vulnerable', so you are
better choosing another species.
- Indeed, many species of parrot are endangered, and illegal importing
is widespread and cannot be condoned. It is therefore interesting
to discover that the monk (green) parakeet often escapes from captivity,
and their are now several wild colonies in the USA.
- What makes a parrot a parrot is his curved peak, also his 4 toes,
two of which point forwards and two backwards.
A parrot whose cries of alarm helped save the life of a choking girl in
the US has been hailed a hero and awarded the Red Cross's Animal Lifesaver
Award in Denver, Colorado, USA, Will and Guy have discovered.
As baby Hannah was choking on her breakfast, Willie the Parrot saw that
she was turning blue so he caused a commotion by flapping his wings noisily
whilst squawking, 'Mama! Baby!'
Megan Howard, Hannah's mother heard his cries and was able to save
Hannah's life by applying the *Heimlich manoeuvre.
Yet another marvellous animal tale.
- From behind, wrap your arms round the victim's waist.
- Make a fist and place the thumb of your fist against the victim's
upper abdomen, below the ribcage and above the navel.
- Grasp you fist with your other hand and press into their upper
abdomen with a quick upward thrust. Do not squeeze the ribcage; confine
the force of your thrust to your hands.
- Repeat until the object is expelled.
The nocturnal, flightless kakapo from New Zealand is one of the world's
rarest birds. As well as being easy prey for rats and dogs, its mating
ritual does them no favours. The male constructs a mating court on top of a
mountain, excavating several shallow "bowls" connected by a series of
tracks, which he keeps scrupulously clean. Every evening, he hunkers down in
each of his bowls in turn, pumps up a special air sac and emits a sequence
of low-frequency "booms" that can be heard three miles away.
It may take him months to attract a female, during which time he can lose
half his body weight. Some females shuffle 20 miles. If both are still in
the mood, they mate for 10 minutes and then she walks home again and tries
not to get eaten.
Please write to Will and Guy if you have any funny parrot stories, or
See more bird jokes, funny pictures, stories and videos
Funny short bird stories •
Birds on wire •
Budgie story •
Funny parrot stories •
White Peacock •
White Stork •
Funny Owls •
Robin - Bird of Pray
Bird flu •
Swine flu jokes •
Funny penguin pictures •
Kitten and Budgerigar •