Funny Out of Mouths of Children jokes


Selection of jokes and short stories, 'Out of the mouths of children'


Out of the Mouths of Children

A number of primary schools were doing a project on 'The Sea.' Children were
asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together
to compare the results and put together some of the 'better' ones:This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

1. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you
a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea because I think they have
to plug themselves in to chargers.
(Christopher age 7)

2. This is
a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.

(Kelly age 6)

3. Oysters' balls are called
pearls. (James age 6)

4. If you are surrounded by sea you are an
Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. (Wayne
age 7)

5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just
like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kyle age 6)

6. A
dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8 )

7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to
make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.
(William age 7)

8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like
their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

Children's Comments on LoveChildren's Comments on Love

  • When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her
    toe nails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when
    his hands got arthritis too. That's love. Rebecca age 8
  • When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You
    just know that your name is safe in their mouth. Billy age 4
  • Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
    before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK. Danny age 7
  • Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening
    presents and listen. Bobby age 7
  • If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who
    you hate. Nikka age 6
  • Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every
    day. Noelle age 7
  • Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
    friends even after they know each other so well. Tommy age 6
  • Love is when Mummy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken. Elaine age 5
  • I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes
    and has to go out and buy new ones. Lauren age 4

See more love quotes for

More Funny Comments: Out of the Mouths of Children

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother:

'Mummy, today in
school I was punished for something that I didn't

The mother exclaimed, 'But that's
terrible.  I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't

The little girl replied, 'My homework.'

Out of the Mouths............:

Mother: 'Why are you home from school so early?'  Son: 'I was the only one who could answer a question.'

Mother: 'Oh,
really? What was the question?'

Son: 'Who threw the blackboard duster at the teacher?'

Going Straight?Funny straight whisky

Jasper Barnett, a young lad from St. Alban's, England was asked by his
teacher to spell the word 'straight.' Jasper did so without error.

'Well done!' smiled the teacher, 'Now, Jasper, what does it mean?'
'Without water in it!' responded Jasper immediately.

Newspaper Boy:

newspaper boy was standing on the corner with a large pile of papers, shouting, 'Read all about it. Twenty five people cheated. Twenty five people cheated.'

Intrigued, a man walked over, bought
a paper, and checked the front page. What he saw was yesterday's
paper. The man said, 'Hey, this is an old paper, where's
the story about the big swindle?'
The newspaper boy ignored him and went on yelling out, 'Read all about it. Twenty six people cheated.'

Pupil Problem?

An educational psychologist is
asked to see a pupil who draws all his pictures with black and brown crayons. He talks to him.  Nothing obvious.  He gives him projective tests.  Nothing shows up.

Finally, in desperation, he gives him some
paper and a box of crayons.

'Oh goody, 'says the boy, 'I get an old box of crayons in school and only the black and brown were left.'

Old Goat? Another funny story out of the mouths of children

The young couple invited their aged Vicar for Sunday lunch. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son, what they were having.

'Goat, 'the little
boy replied.

replied the startled man of the cloth, 'Are you sure about that?'

'Yep', said the youngster. 'I definitely heard Dad say to Mum, we might as well have the old goat for dinner today as
any other day.'

A Frugal Little Girl

Jemima's Year 6 homework task was to make sentences using the words in her spelling list, along with the definition. Coming across the word "frugal" in the list, she asked
her father what it meant. He explained that being frugal meant you saved something.

Jemima's paper read, 'Frugal: to save.' Sentence: 'Little Red Riding Hood fell into a hole when she was walking in the
woods so she yelled for someone to come get her out.  She cried, 'Frugal me, Frugal me!'Children On Children

Children On Children

This poem was nominated, by United Nations, as the best poem of 2006 was
written by an African child

When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I
die, I still black

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up,
you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you
die, you gray

And you calling me coloured?


This poem was kindly sent in by John Franklin; please send us your funny out of the mouths of children....

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