Rugby Nicknames

'Teflon'

In my opinion, the Welsh rugby crowd are great at a
particular brand of humour.  In the 1980's
Cardiff had a player called Gerald Cordle playing on the wing.  He went through a bad patch, dropping pass after pass with the try line at his mercy.
Now Gerald was of African extraction, but did the Welsh crowd racially abuse him - no.  Instead, they took called him Teflon, because he had non-stick hands.

In another example of Welsh humour I
played with a second row forward called Dai eighteen months. So called because an accident left him with only an ear and a half.

In the same team we had a Thomas central heating, this alluded to the fact
that he had two front teeth missing.

Referee to prop forward. "You're boring the hooker."  (Cunning, but illegal scrum technique)
Prop to referee,
"You're not so interesting yourself ref."

Rugby Players'
Nicknames

Welsh Rugby Nicknames [Extra material supplied by Martin]

Rob Howley (Stan because he looks like the one from Laurel and Hardy)

Richard Hibbard (Shirley - the hair)

Sam Warburton (Avatar as he looks like the lead character)

Alan Bateman (Clamp on account of his tackling)

Gareth Thomas = Alfie is so called because apparently he looked like a TV
character ALF (alien life form)

Martyn Williams = Nugget (A
thoroughly reliable back row forward with great handling skills)

Stephen Jones = Wellies (Doesn't
wear them when he played, that's
for sure)

Gethin Jenkins = Melon (Because of his head!)

See more Welsh rugby jokes

English Rugby Nicknames

Chariots (Martin) Offiah (Speedy winger named after the film of the legendary sprinter Eric Liddle)

Brian Moore = Le Pit-Bull (So named by the French. This tenacious hooker always led from the front.
Keeps up his act when commentating.)

Rob Andrew = Squeaky (Apparently he never did anything wrong)

Jason Robinson = Billy Whizz (A loss to international rugby: a genius when running at opponents)

Mickey Skinner = Munch and sometimes Crunch (Apparently because of his ferocious tackles?)

Will Carling = Bumface
(The England captain had a characteristic chin dimple)

Steve Thompson = Shrek (I wouldn't
call him this to his face)

Danny Grewcock = Robolock (Strong British Lion and England lock forward)

World Cup Rugby jokes.

The Twickenham Fox

It doesn't take much to liven up a rugby match between England and
Scotland, so the appearance of a fox during 2011's Six Nations match
delighted the crowd, although it was surprising given the standard
demographic that it wasn't pursued off the pitch by a pack of hounds to the
shout of tally-ho. So fleet of foot was Mr Fox that many regret now that
Martin Johnson hadn't taken it to the World Cup last autumn instead of Mike
Tindall

Assorted Nationalities Nicknames

Shane Byrne = Mullet  (See Hairstyle opposite)

Brian O'
Driscoll = Bod or God (Self explanatory: a great loss to the British Lions in 2005)

Craig Chalmers
= Judith (The Scottish outside half was named after Judith Chalmers, the famous broadcaster)

Thomas Castaignede = The Little
Prince (As the French press named the skilful three-quarter)

Phillipe Bernat-Salle = The Pau rocket (He played for Pau and France and was an extremely speedy winger)

International Rugby Team Nicknames

Almost every nation has at least one shortened name to inspire its fans,
and to increase the commentators vocabulary.

• Argentina: Los Pumas
• Australia: The Wallabies
• Canada: Canucks or Maple Leafs
• Cote d'Ivoire - Les éléphants
• Fiji: Bati [The Warriors] Sometimes referred to as The Flying
  Fijians
• France: Les Bleus or sometimes Les Tricolores
• Georgia: The Lelos [The team's nickname comes from 'lelo burti', a
  traditional Georgian sport with strong similarities to rugby]
• Italy: Azzurri, The Gladiators of Rome
• Japan: The Cherry Blossoms or The Brave Blossoms
• Namibia: The Welwitschias [a desert flower]
• New Zealand: The All Blacks
• Portugal: Os Lobos [The Wolves]
• Romania: The Oaks
• Samoa: Manu Samoa
• Spain: El XV Del León [their emblem]
• South Africa: The Springboks
• Tonga: Ikale Tahi [Sea Eagles]
• USA: The Eagles
• Uruguay - Los Teros [their emblem]
• Wales: Dragons
• Zimbabwe: The Sables

Countries that appear not to have real nicknames: England, Scotland,
Ireland. Perhaps you know better.