Jaws Directed by Steven Spielberg 1975
Roy Scheider There's
a big shark in the water. Close the beaches.
Murray Hamilton No way. Your evidence is inconclusive. Clean the dead people off the
beach to make room for the tourists.
(Some SCARY MUSIC rings out, and a BIG FAT GUY gets EATEN.) Robert Shaw I'm tough and grim. (shark eats him) Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss Take that. (shark
dies)
THE END
Erin Brockovich Directed by Steven Soderbergh 2000
Julia Roberts I'm a jerk, but I'm brilliant. Give me a job, you fountain of scummy pain evil.
Albert Finney Ok. Julia
Roberts This company is poisoning water. Let's
fry their ugly hides in extract of hell. (They DO, and it is HEART WARMING.)
THE END
Close Encounters of the Third Kind Directed by Steven
Spielberg 1977
(Airplanes are found in the desert.) Researchers Wow! (UFOs appear over Richard Dreyfuss'
house.) Richard Dreyfuss Wow! (UFOs appear over Devil's
Tower.) All Wow!
THE END
Notting Hill Directed by Roger Michell 1999
Hugh Grant I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'm in love with you.
Julia Roberts I'll date you, no I won't
, yes I will, no I won't
.
I'm sorry, I have too many rich-and-glamorous issues. Now I've gotten over them.
THE END
Reservoir Dogs Film Directed by Quentin Tarantino 1992
Michael Madsen Who's
the rat? (shoots a cop)
Harvey Keitel I didn't
do it. (shoots Lawrence Tierney) Tim Roth Don't
look at me. (shoots Michael Madsen) (Everybody else shoots each other.)
THE END
Titanic Film Directed by James Cameron
1997
Leonardo DiCaprio Your social class is stuffy. Let's
dance with the ship's
rats and have fun. Kate Winslet You have captured my heart. Let's
run around the ship and giggle. (The ship
SINKS.) Leonardo DiCaprio Never let go. Kate Winslet I promise. (lets go)
THE END
Ultra Condensed Versions of Movies
Jane Eyre By Charlotte Bronte
Edward Rochester I have a dark secret. Will you stay with me no matter what?
Jane Eyre Yes.
Edward Rochester My secret is that I have a lunatic wife.
Jane
Eyre Bye.
(Jane Eyre leaves. Somebody dies. Jane Eyre returns.)
THE END
Don Quixote By Cervantes
Don Quixote Chivalry demands I destroy that evil thing.
Sancho Panza No, master. It is
something ordinary and harmless.
Don Quixote (falls down)
THE END
A Christmas Carol By Charles Dickens
Ebenezer Scrooge Bah, humbug. you'll work thirty-eight hours on Christmas Day, keep
the heat at five degrees, and like it. Ghost of Jacob Marley Ebenezer Scrooge, three ghosts of Christmas will come and tell you you're mean. 3 Ghosts of Christmas you're mean.
Ebenezer Scrooge At last, I
have seen the light. Let's
dance in the streets. Have some money.
THE END
Lord of the Flies By William Golding
(Some BOYS crash on an ISLAND.)
Ralph We need a fire.
(They make a fire.
It goes out.)
Ralph We need a fire.
(They make a fire. It goes out.)
Ralph We need a fire.
Jack Forget the fire. Let's
kill each other.
Other Boys Yeah!
(They do.)
THE END
One
Flew Over the Cuckoo's
Nest By Ken Kesey
Nurse Ratched I destroy my patients psychologically so I can have power and control.
Randall P. McMurphy But freedom and happiness are good things.
Nurse
Ratched Lobotomy time for you, buster.
(McMurphy DIES but inspires HOPE so OTHERS may LIVE.)
THE END
The Catcher In the Rye By J. D. Salinger
Holden Caulfield Angst angst angst swear
curse swear crazy crazy angst swear curse, society sucks, and I'm a stupid jerk.
THE END
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