Obtain large box of tin tacks. Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a
blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.
Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it
into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa
Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.
Borrow one or two small animals [goats are excellent] and take them with you as
you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.
Obtain a large plastic milk jug, half fill with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while
pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
Forget the BMW and buy an estate car. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a 10p piece. Stick it
into the CD player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect.
peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with a quantity of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00pm
begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00pmGet up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too
until 4:00am. Set alarm for 5:00am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful all the time.
Find a couple who
already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasise to them that they
should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.
Quotes About Kids
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
At the End-of-term Party and Disco
'Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?' said a boy to a girl.
'Well, do you know who I am?' inquired the girl.
'No.' replied the
'I'm the head teacher's daughter.' replied the girl.
do you know who I am?' asked the boy.
'No,' she uttered.
goodness!' said the boy with a sigh of relief.
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Mother knows best
Child's letter to God
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Children's mischief •
Out of the mouth of babes
Out of the mouths of children
Funny proverbs 6yo •
Repel Teens •
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