Funny Safety Tips

Here is Will and Guy’s collection of cartoons, posters, jokes and amusing articles
featuring funny safety tips.

• Funny Health and Safety Pictures
• Will and
  Guy’s Amusing Safety Tips
• Funny Health and Safety
  Pictures
• Comical Workplace Safety
  Tips

Blink And You Will Miss It!

Note the latest state-of-the-art, all cardboard, protective mask!

Health Tip

From page 21 of the Health & Safety Handbook for Employees:
‘Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes’.

Amusing Health and Safety Tips

Interestingly, Will and Guy have been researching Health and Safety in
relation to business and work places.  We are aware that intrinsically it is
not a very interesting topic therefore it becomes essential, we think, to
mix the serious message with humour.

The fact that in the UK over a *million workers get injured every year
and 25,000 people are forced to give up work because of injury or illness
caused by work shows that employers are very much taking risks with their
workers’ health. Most of these injuries could have been avoided if employers
had implemented proper safety procedures, but research has shown that around
half of employers have not even done a simple risk assessment which is, in
fact, a legal requirement.

*TUC [Trades Union congress]figures 2009

We are aware that our site pages are towards the top of peoples’ choices
to view. Why not, therefore, use our findings, stories, pictures, posters
and articles in your induction courses and indeed in your Health and Safety
programmes. Research indicates that the following three ideas are proven to
be successful in communicating to a workforce about Health and Safety.

We have found that people remember 50% more in what they see than in what
they hear.

Visuals get people’s attention. Advertising people know about this. The
many images on billboards, magazines, newspapers or even on the internet are
testimonies that visuals do attract people and advertising using visuals are
so effective.

Humour In Safety Posters Brings Good Feelings To a Workplace

This makes ideas more memorable and able to be understood.  This has a lot
to do with the working of the mind.  Pleasant thoughts generate more
receptive learning.  Have you ever tried studying for an exam when you have
ugly thoughts disturbing your mind Humour effectively drives a point
home.

Therefore it becomes easier to understand when done correctly. Accidents
situations cannot be photographed. Only stuntmen are crazy enough to do
things that can result in accidents.  Therefore, cartoons can be effectively used to
illustrate dangerous situations which might be impossible to capture on film
in real life.

Examples of Humour in Health and Safety

1. When the employees of a High Rise Scaffold Company, Doncaster,
   England, attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire officer
   demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher.
   ‘Pull the
   pin like a hand grenade,’ he roared. ‘Then depress the trigger to
   release the extinguishing agent.’

   Later Simon Baxter, a rather
   nervous, young and new employee was selected to extinguish a ‘controlled
   fire’ in the live demonstration area.

   In his nervousness, he
   forgot to pull the pin.

   The instructor roared, ‘Like a hand
   grenade? And again louder, ‘Like a hand grenade, remember?’

   In a
   burst of confidence Simon pulled the pin ………………… and
   hurled the extinguisher into the blaze.

A Funny Tale of Two Workmen

Two workmen, Harry and Reggie, were digging foundations when Harry
started shouting and jumping about.

Reggie thought his partner had hit an underground power cable and was
being electrocuted so following good health and safety practice used a
shovel to separate him from the electricity.

In fact Harry wasn’t getting an electric shock but was panicking after a
wasp had flown up his trousers.  Luckily Harry didn’t get stung but Reggie
hit him so hard with the shovel that his shoulder was dislocated.

In fact Harry wasn’t getting an electric shock but was panicking after a
wasp had flown up his trousers.  Luckily Harry didn’t get stung but Reggie
hit him so hard with the shovel that his shoulder was dislocated.

Comical Workplace Safety Tips

Will and Guy’s Selection of funny health and safety tips at the
workplace.

1. Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company
   where I work.  So I’m constantly preaching caution to the workers I
   supervise.  ‘Does anyone know,’ I asked a few guys, ‘what the speed
   limit is in our parking lot?’The long silence that followed
   was interrupted when one of them piped up.  ‘That depends. Do you
   mean coming to work or leaving?’
2. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in Boston,
   Massachusetts, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen
   pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of
   whiplash injuries and back pain.
3. Safety Managers: persons who write a 10,000 word document
   and call it a brief – Franz Kafka
4. What do you get if you put 100 Safety Managers in your
   basement? – A whine cellar.
5. Dead Slow – Live Children
   Here is an interesting oxymoron.  Humorous safety signs
   really do work (see picture right).
6. A police protection officer was visiting a primary school in
   a particularly rough area of Manchester, England.’Why
   shouldn’t you touch the oven door or the kettle?’ he asked the
   assembled class.

   A young girls hand shot into the air.
   ‘Because you might leave fingerprints,’ she answered.

7. A crowd gathered around at a woodworking trade show held
   at Fort Purbrook, Portsmouth and were watching a sales
   demonstration.The demonstrator had an ordinary saw next to
   another which had a saw stopping safety device.  He showed how each
   might work when it hit an operator’s finger.

   For simulation
   purposes he used a sausage as a substitute.  Intrigued, a curious
   spectator stepped up for a closer look and was struck in the eye by
   a flying piece of debris.

    

The Building Trade: Health and Safety
Tip

The Famous poetic song the ‘Sick Note’, is also known as Murphy and the
Bricks.

It was written by Pat Cooksey who says that the original song dates back
to the English Music Hall’s of the 1920’s and was printed in the Readers
Digest in 1937 in the form of a story.

The song is unique in as much as it appears under a galaxy of titles but
is always the same song. It has worldwide popularity with over 100
recordings to date.

The Safety Officer: An Hilarious and Funny Story

Once, an engineer, a physicist and a safety officer all applied for the
same job.

The Managing Director interviewed all three, and thought all were
excellent. He had to think of some way to find the best person. So he told
them all to come back the next day and tell him the exact height of the
building. The one who was closest would get the job.

The physicist went to the top of the building, and dropped iron balls to
the ground, and had his friend timed the balls. He did this several times.

The engineer got out a sextant, and computed ratios of a yardstick to the
building.

The next day, the manager asks all three of them to tell how tall the
building is.

’75 feet, 2.8 inches,’ says the physicist.

’76 feet, 4.1 inches,’ says the engineer.

’75 feet, 8.4 inches,’ says the safety officer.

‘My Goodness, said the MD, ‘the safety officer got it exactly correct.
How did you manage that?’

‘Well’, said the safety officer, ‘I went down to the planning department
and looked up the height in the building records.’

Lazy Workers – Unsafe Foot-holds

Safety Tip?

Footnote:
Please send us your funny safety tips.