Funny Safety Tips

Here is Will and Guy’s collection of cartoons, posters, jokes and amusing articles
featuring funny safety tips.


Funny Safety Tips
Blink And You Will Miss It!

Note the latest state-of-the-art, all cardboard, protective mask!

Health Tip

From page 21 of the Health & Safety Handbook for Employees:
‘Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes’.

Amusing Health and Safety Tips

Interestingly, Will and Guy have been researching Health and Safety in
relation to business and work places.  We are aware that intrinsically it is
not a very interesting topic therefore it becomes essential, we think, to
mix the serious message with humour.
Amusing Safety Tips

The fact that in the UK over a *million workers get injured every year
and 25,000 people are forced to give up work because of injury or illness
caused by work shows that employers are very much taking risks with their
workers’ health. Most of these injuries could have been avoided if employers
had implemented proper safety procedures, but research has shown that around
half of employers have not even done a simple risk assessment which is, in
fact, a legal requirement.

*TUC [Trades Union congress]figures 2009

We are aware that our site pages are towards the top of peoples’ choices
to view. Why not, therefore, use our findings, stories, pictures, posters
and articles in your induction courses and indeed in your Health and Safety
programmes. Research indicates that the following three ideas are proven to
be successful in communicating to a workforce about Health and Safety.

We have found that people remember 50% more in what they see than in what
they hear.

Visuals get people’s attention. Advertising people know about this. The
many images on billboards, magazines, newspapers or even on the internet are
testimonies that visuals do attract people and advertising using visuals are
so effective.Funny Car Safety

Humour In Safety Posters Brings Good Feelings To a Workplace

This makes ideas more memorable and able to be understood.  This has a lot
to do with the working of the mind.  Pleasant thoughts generate more
receptive learning.  Have you ever tried studying for an exam when you have
ugly thoughts disturbing your mind Humour effectively drives a point

Therefore it becomes easier to understand when done correctly. Accidents
situations cannot be photographed. Only stuntmen are crazy enough to do
things that can result in accidents.  Therefore, cartoons can be effectively used to
illustrate dangerous situations which might be impossible to capture on film
in real life.

Examples of Humour in Health and Safety

  1. When the employees of a High Rise Scaffold Company, Doncaster,
    England, attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire officer
    demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher.
    Funny Fire Safety Warnings
    ‘Pull the
    pin like a hand grenade,’ he roared. ‘Then depress the trigger to
    release the extinguishing agent.’

    Later Simon Baxter, a rather
    nervous, young and new employee was selected to extinguish a ‘controlled
    fire’ in the live demonstration area.

    In his nervousness, he
    forgot to pull the pin.

    The instructor roared, ‘Like a hand
    grenade? And again louder, ‘Like a hand grenade, remember?’

    In a
    burst of confidence Simon pulled the pin ………………… and
    hurled the extinguisher into the blaze.

A Funny Tale of Two Workmen

Two workmen, Harry and Reggie, were digging foundations when Harry
started shouting and jumping about.
Funny Safety at workplace

Reggie thought his partner had hit an underground power cable and was
being electrocuted so following good health and safety practice used a
shovel to separate him from the electricity.

In fact Harry wasn’t getting an electric shock but was panicking after a
wasp had flown up his trousers.  Luckily Harry didn’t get stung but Reggie
hit him so hard with the shovel that his shoulder was dislocated.

In fact Harry wasn’t getting an electric shock but was panicking after a
wasp had flown up his trousers.  Luckily Harry didn’t get stung but Reggie
hit him so hard with the shovel that his shoulder was dislocated.

Comical Workplace Safety TipsFunny health and safety pictures

Will and Guy’s Selection of funny health and safety tips at the

  1. Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company
    where I work.  So I’m constantly preaching caution to the workers I
    supervise.  ‘Does anyone know,’ I asked a few guys, ‘what the speed
    limit is in our parking lot?’The long silence that followed
    was interrupted when one of them piped up.  ‘That depends. Do you
    mean coming to work or leaving?’
  2. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in Boston,
    Massachusetts, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen
    pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of
    whiplash injuries and back pain.
  3. Safety Managers: persons who write a 10,000 word document
    and call it a brief – Franz Kafka
  4. What do you get if you put 100 Safety Managers in your
    basement? – A whine cellar.Funny sign - Safety at the Workplace
  5. Dead Slow – Live Children
    Here is an interesting oxymoron.  Humorous safety signs
    really do work (see picture right).
  6. A police protection officer was visiting a primary school in
    a particularly rough area of Manchester, England.’Why
    shouldn’t you touch the oven door or the kettle?’ he asked the
    assembled class.

    A young girls hand shot into the air.
    ‘Because you might leave fingerprints,’ she answered.

  7. A crowd gathered around at a woodworking trade show held
    at Fort Purbrook, Portsmouth and were watching a sales
    The demonstrator had an ordinary saw next to
    another which had a saw stopping safety device.  He showed how each
    might work when it hit an operator’s finger.

    For simulation
    purposes he used a sausage as a substitute.  Intrigued, a curious
    spectator stepped up for a closer look and was struck in the eye by
    a flying piece of debris.


The Building Trade: Health and Safety

The Famous poetic song the ‘Sick Note’, is also known as Murphy and the

It was written by Pat Cooksey who says that the original song dates back
to the English Music Hall’s of the 1920’s and was printed in the Readers
Digest in 1937 in the form of a story.

The song is unique in as much as it appears under a galaxy of titles but
is always the same song. It has worldwide popularity with over 100
recordings to date.

Murphy And The Bricks

Dear Sir I write this note to you
To tell you of my plight
For at
the time of writing it
I’m not a pretty sight
My body is all black
and blue
My face a deathly grey
And I write this note to tell you
Why I am not at work today

Whilst working on the fourteenth floor
Some bricks I had to clear
But to toss them down from such a height
Was not a good idea
foreman wasn’t very pleased
He is an awkward sod
And he said I had to
cart them
Down the ladder in my hod

Well moving all these bricks by hand
It was so very slow
So I
hoisted up a barrel
And secured the rope below
But in my haste to do
the job
I was to blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks

Was heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope
The barrel fell like lead
clinging tightly to the rope
I started up instead
I shot up like a
’til to my dismay I found
That half way up I met
The bloody
barrel coming down

The barrel broke my shoulder
As to the ground it sped
And when I
reached the top
I banged the pulley with my head
Still clinging
tightly to the rope
From this almighty blow
Whilst the barrel spilled
out half its bricks
Some fourteen floors below
Now when these bricks
had fallen
From the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel
And so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope
body racked with pain
And halfway down I met
The bloody barrel once

The force of this collision
Halfway down the office block
multiple abrasions
And a nasty case of shock
Still clinging tightly
to the rope
I fell towards the ground
And landed on the broken bricks
The barrel had scattered round

I lay there bleeding on the ground
I thought I’d passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel
And then the bottom burst
A shower
of bricks rained down on me
I didn’t have a hope
As I lay there
bleeding on the ground
I let go of the bloody rope

The barrel now being heavier
It started down once more
And landed
right across me
As I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my
left arm
And I can only say
I hope you’ll understand
Why I am not
at work today !

Author: Pat Cooksey and first performed in the Dyer’s Arms Pub, Coventry,
England, in 1969.

The Safety Officer: An Hilarious and Funny Story

Once, an engineer, a physicist and a safety officer all applied for the
same job.

The Managing Director interviewed all three, and thought all were
excellent. He had to think of some way to find the best person. So he told
them all to come back the next day and tell him the exact height of the
building. The one who was closest would get the job.

The physicist went to the top of the building, and dropped iron balls to
the ground, and had his friend timed the balls. He did this several times.

Funny sign - Safety at the Workplace

The engineer got out a sextant, and computed ratios of a yardstick to the

The next day, the manager asks all three of them to tell how tall the
building is.

’75 feet, 2.8 inches,’ says the physicist.

’76 feet, 4.1 inches,’ says the engineer.

’75 feet, 8.4 inches,’ says the safety officer.

‘My Goodness, said the MD, ‘the safety officer got it exactly correct.
How did you manage that?’

‘Well’, said the safety officer, ‘I went down to the planning department
and looked up the height in the building records.’

Lazy Workers – Unsafe Foot-holds

Safety - Leaning by feet
Swimming Pool Safety

Safety Tip?

Funny safety picture - changing a prop shaft

Please send us your funny safety tips.

See more funny warnings and lucky escapes:

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Safety at work   •
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Shoot self

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Silly Labels   •
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Lucky escape   •
Safety PowerPoint   •
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