What does a dentist’s award look like? We don’t have a picture, but apparently it’s a big plaque with a little cavity.
The Buddhist
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Anaesthetist
Dwayne is recovering from surgery in St Peter’s, Chertsey, UK, having had a local anaesthetic when a nurse asks him how he’s feeling. ‘I’m O.K. but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery.’
‘What did he say?’ asks the nurse.
‘OOPS!’
Toothache:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
Visit to the Dentist
The Marshes were shown into the dentist’s surgery, where Mr Marsh makes it absolutely clear that he is in a big hurry.
‘No expensive extras, Doctor’, Marsh demands, ‘No gas or needles or any of that fancy stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with.’
‘I wish more of my patients were as strong minded and as brave as you, Mr Marsh, ‘said the dentist admiringly. ‘Now, which tooth is it?’
Mr Marsh turns to his wife and says:
‘Show him your tooth, honey.’
Dental Treatment Hits Right Note
A patient sits in the dental chair with severely fractured front teeth. After discussing with the orthodontist how they will be restored and what the fee would be the patient says, ‘Before you start, I gotta know: Will I be able to play the clarinet when you are finished?’
The dentist replies ‘Sure you will!’
The patient replies ‘Great, I couldn’t play a note before!’
Fast – or Slow?
Patient: How much will it cost me to have this tooth extracted?
Dentist: $300
Patient: $300 for just a few minutes work, that expensive.
Dentist: O.K. I’ll pull it out slowly if you prefer.
Another Batch of Good Dentist Jokes
A Good Dentist?
When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the ‘Painless’ dentist. However a local little girl called Gemima disputed his claim.
‘He’s a fake!’ Gemima told her friends. ‘He’s not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him – and he screamed like anyone else.’
He Made a Good Impression!
Joe Simpson goes to his dentist for a new set of choppers
The dentist said to his assistant, ‘Please get an impression from Mr Brown’
Mr Brown replied ‘Just like that’.
(A slow burning joke sent in by a Tommy Cooper fan)
Martin Goes to the Dentist
Martin and his wife Debbie walk into a dentist’s office. Martin says to the dentist, “Doc, I’m in one heck of a hurry I have three buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic, I don’t have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! Today is Friday and we have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it’s 9:15 already… “.
The dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have a tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain.” So the dentist asks Martin, “Which tooth is it sir?”
Martin turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth and show him dear…….”
Biting Off More Than You Can Chew?
In my busy dental surgery, I see several patients at the same time. As soon as I finish with one, I run to the next room to resume treatment on another. One day, I returned to a second patient without saying good-by to the first. As my first patient was leaving, she gave a friendly wave. Acknowledging her, I said loudly, ‘Byyy…’ My other patient obediently chomped down and bit my fingers.
From ‘All In a Day’s Work’ by Stiew Tan.
Toothache Cure from 1885
Choosing the Right Filling
A little boy called Ben was taken to the dentist. Examination revealed that Ben had a cavity, which needed filling.
‘Now, young man,’ asked the dentist, ‘what kind of filling would you like for that tooth, amalgam or composite?’
‘I would prefer chocolate, please,’ replied Ben.
Juanita – One-eater
It never ceases to amaze Will and Guy how one funny story reminds us of another. Jackson, a friend of Will’s told him that there was, for years, at Portsmouth Camber docks, a Spanish trawler man who had only one tooth.
His nickname was……..Juanita. [one eater]
Example of a Cautionary Dentist’s Tale
The cap of Bert’s tooth fell out so he phoned his dentist, Doctor Exelby, to ask if it could be replaced.
‘Yes,’ said the dentist, ‘but it will cost you £175.’
‘No way,’ said Bert and went off to buy a 50p tube of superglue and stuck the cap back carefully.
He woke up in Queen Alexandra Hospital, Cosham.
Warning: Apparently superglue contains a cyanide chemical.
Dentist’s Appointments
Dentists can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and when he examines you he says, ‘I wish you’d come to me sooner.’
See a good Droitwich dental practice
Please send us your good Dentist jokes.
