Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: ‘Does this taste funny to you?’
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
The one turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: ‘A beer please, and one for the road.’
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
A jump-start cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.
‘Doc, I can’t stop singing’ The Green, Green Grass of Home’. ‘That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.’ Is it common? ‘Well, It’s Not Unusual’.
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Ermentrude, ‘I was artificially inseminated this morning.’ I don’t believe you’, says Ermentrude. ‘It’s true, no bull!’ exclaims Daisy.
The invisible man marries the invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
‘Deja Moo’: The feeling that You’ve heard this bull before.
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A Multi-lingual Slant On Silly Puns
These puns are from a New York magazine competition where competitors were asked to change one letter in a familiar non-English phrase and redefine it. These multi-lingual puns were created by Michael A. Alderete:
- Harlez-vous francais? ….. Can you drive a French motorcycle?
- Rigor morris ….. The cat is dead.
- Repondez s’il vous plaid ….. Honk if you’re Scots.
- Que sera serf ….. Life is feudal.
- Monage a trois ….. I am three years old.
- Cogito eggo sum ….. I think; therefore, I am a waffle.
- Haste cuisine ….. Fast French food.
- Idios amigos ….. We’re wild and crazy guys.
- Le roi est mort. Jive le roi ….. The king is dead. No kidding.
- Posh mortem ….. Death styles of the rich and famous.
- Pro bozo publico ….. Support your local clown.
- Visa la france ….. Don’t leave chateau without it.
- Veni, vidi, vice ….. I came, I saw, I partied.
Please send us your silly puns
