Thanksgiving Presidential Turkey Pardon

President Obama made the official presidential Thanksgiving pardon on
Wednesday, November 23 2011.  “I hereby pardon ‘Liberty’ so that he can live
out the rest of his days in peace and tranquility in Disneyland.”

• Thanksgiving
  Turkey Pardon: The Ingredients
• The Presidents’ Pardon
• 2011 Presidential Turkey
  Pardon
• Cincinnati Has A Ball
• Turkey on Prozac

Thanksgiving Turkey
Pardon: The Ingredients

Firstly, imagine this: you are president of the United States, and at
Thanksgiving you are given yet another turkey; what do you do?
Secondly, consider the question, ‘What are all presidents, especially
presidents of the United States, skilled at?’  Why public relations,
hype and maximising media opportunities.  Thirdly, what do all
journalists seek?  If they can’t get a scoop, then newspaper hacks
create an urban myth by massaging the truth.

2011 Presidential Turkey Pardon

As Thanksgiving tradition dicates, on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving President Obama pardoned two turkeys,
this year it was Liberty and Peace (reserve) who were spared.

The president really enjoys giving the signal to spare the bird (as seen
on the video).  Incidentally, you can see how much Malia and Sasha have
grown in a year.

2010 Presidential Turkey Pardon

On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving President Obama pardoned two turkeys
called Apple and Cider (understudy).  The ceremony took place in the
Rose Garden as usual.

“Today, I have the awesome responsibility of granting a presidential
pardon to a pair of turkeys,” Obama said, standing with daughters Malia and
Sasha. “Now, for the record, let me say that it feels pretty good to stop at
least one shellacking this November.”

Apple and Cider were two of the 20,000 turkeys born this summer at Foster
Farms Wellsford Ranch outside of Modesto, California. They were among 25
turkeys from the ranch selected to participate in a competition to become
the national Thanksgiving turkey, which included the turkeys “strutting
their stuff” to music, Obama said.

2009 Presidential Turkey Pardon

As usual, on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, The
President pardoned a turkey.  In 2009 President Obama spared ‘Courage’, along with an alternative
called ‘Carolina’, apparently, this was the choice of his daughters.

President Obama’s Statement

Today, I am pleased to announce that thanks to the interventions of Malia
and Sasha, because I was planning to eat this sucker, “Courage” will also be
spared this terrible and delicious fate. Later today, he’ll head to
Disneyland, where he’ll be grand marshal of tomorrow’s parade. And just in
case “Courage” can’t fulfill his responsibilities, Walter brought along
another turkey, “Carolina,” as an alternate, the stand-in.

The Presidents’ Turkey Pardon

The presidents’ turkey pardon has all the above ingredients of a feel-good
story.  Way back in 1947 the National Turkey Federation had the PR
master-stroke of donating one of their finest turkeys to the President of
the United States.  For 25 years the mutual publicity stunt proceeded
without a hitch, until in 1963 when President Kennedy, looked at his turkey
and said, ‘Let’s keep him going ‘.

For the next 25 years nothing of note
happened until in 1989 President George H.W. Bush (snr) officially pardoned
that year’s turkey.

Politicians are masters of jumping on a popular band-wagon and Presidents
Bill Clinton and George W. Bush carried on pardoning the Thanksgiving
turkey, and strangely, ‘An Alternate in case the principle cannot carryout
its duties’.  No doubt a euphemism for insurance in case the first one
is so fat it has a premature heart attack and dies before it can be
pardoned.

In a modern day twist on the presidential turkey pardon, the American public were now allowed to vote for the
turkeys’ names on the White House web site. The reprieved turkeys in 2008
were Pumpkin and Pecan, in 2007 May and Flower were spared, as were 2006’s
Flyer and Fryer.  Going back to 2005 it was Marshmallow and Yam; while
2004’s were Biscuit and Gravy.

However, Will and Guy wonder if we missed the 2009 vote on which turkey
to pardon?  Or has has there been a change of policy?  No doubt
all will be revealed.

Thanksgiving Turkey

If You Think This Turkey Is Big? Wait Until You See The Gravy Boat

Cincinnati Has A Ball

Bowlers Have A Fun Time: A Short, Clean Thanksgiving Story

Each year Cincinnati, USA, warms up for Thanksgiving with its traditional
Turkey Bowl, an annual outdoor event using frozen turkeys in place of
bowling balls.  Contestants will try to knock down 10 pins by sliding
‘rock-hard’ birds down a lane on the holiday season ice skating rink based
in Fountain Square. The person with the highest score after three rounds
wins $100 cash.

You may be pleased to know that Will and Guy have established that the
frozen birds used in ‘Turkey Bowl’ are discarded store turkeys not intended
for anyone’s consumption. We would hate to see eatable birds going to waste.

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Turkey

Sarah new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, ‘Richard
doesn’t appreciate what I do for him.’

‘Now, now,’ her mother comforted,
‘I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.’

‘No, mother, you don’t
understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me
about the price.’

‘Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate,’ says her mum.  ‘Those
turkey rolls are only a few dollars.’

‘No, mother it wasn’t the price of the turkey.  It was the aeroplane
ticket.’  “Aeroplane ticket….” What did you need an airplane ticket for?’

‘Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the
package and it said: “Prepare from a frozen state,” so I flew to Alaska.’
See our funny Christmas
stories.

Footnote:
We await the next presidential turkey pardon on Wednesday November 24th
2011.