Good clean jokes about contestants

 

1) Anne Robinson - Weakest Link

Anne Robinson: Which Indian leader, whose last name began with '
G'
took the title Mahatma?
Contestant: Geronimo  (Correct Answer Ghandi)

Anne Robinson:
Which of the Marx Brothers remained silent throughout the movies?
Contestant: Karl  (Correct Answer Harpo)

Anne Robinson: Who was the only prisoner of Spandau Prison between 1966 and 1987?
Contestant: The Birdman of Alcatraz.  (Correct Answer Rudolf Hess)

2) Family Fortunes with Les Dennis

• Name a bird with a long Neck?  Naomi Campbell
• Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
• Where is the Taj Mahal?  Opposite the Dental Hospital
• What is Hitler's
  first name?  Heil
• Some famous brothers?  Bonnie and Clyde.
• A famous
  Royal?  Mail
• A sign of the Zodiac?  April
• Something you do before you go to bed?  Sleep
• Something you put on walls?  A roof
• Something slippery?  A conman
• A kind of ache?  A fillet of fish

3) Chris Searle - BBC Bristol

Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Contestant: Japan
Chris
Searle: In case you did not hear me say European, I can let you try again.
Contestant: Mexico?  (Correct Answer is Italy)

4) Who killed C Robin?

Presenter: Who killed C Robin
Contestant: I did not know that he was dead.

Full poem as sung by my mother:

'Who killed C Robin?'
I, 'said the Sparrow, 'With my bow and arrow, I killed C Robin.'
Who saw him die?'
I, 'said the Fly, 'With my little eye, I saw him die.'
Who caught his blood?'
I, 'said the Fish, 'With my little dish, I caught his blood.'
Who'
ll make the shroud?'
I, 'said the Beetle, 'With my thread and needle, I'll make the shroud.'
Who'
ll dig his grave?'
I, 'said the Owl, 'With my
pick and shovel, I'll dig his grave.'
Who'
ll be the parson?'
I, 'said the Rook, 'With my little book, I'll be the parson.'
Who'
ll be the clerk?'
I, 'said the Lark, 'If it's
not in the dark,
I'll be the clerk.'
Who'
ll carry the link?'
I, 'said the Linnet, 'I'll fetch it in a minute, I'll carry the link.'
Who'
ll be chief mourner?'
I, 'said the Dove, 'I mourn for my love, I'll be
chief mourner.'
Who'
ll carry the coffin?'
I, 'said the Kite, 'If it's
not through the night, I'll carry the coffin.'
Who'
ll bear the pall?'
We, 'said the Wren, 'Both the c and the hen,
we'll bear the pall.'
Who'
ll sing a psalm?'
I, 'said the Thrush, 'As she sat on a bush, I'll sing a psalm.'
Who'
ll toll the bell?'
I, 'said the bull, 'Because I can pull, I'll toll the
bell.'
All the birds of the air fell a-sighing and a-sobbing,
When they heard the bell toll for poor C Robin.

Bible
Test

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Good, clean, free jokes.  One-liners, short funny jokes.  Have a laugh, enjoy a chuckle, bring a smile to your face.  Will and Guy hope that you share our sense
of humour (or humor).