How do you know Santa Claus has to be a man?
No woman is going to
wear the same outfit year after year.
10 Reasons Why a Woman WOULD LIKE to Be Santa Claus
There'd be no more early morning decisions about what to wear
to the office.
No one would bother to ask Santa Claus for a ride to work.
Buy one big brown belt and you'd be accessorized for life.
You'd always work in sensible footwear.
You'd never be expected to make the coffee.
There'd be no need to play office politics; a hearty ho-ho-ho would
remind everyone who is the boss.
Juggling work and family would be easy. All your children
would adore you; even your teenagers would want to sit in your lap.
You'd never take the wrong coat on your way home.
You could grow a tummy the size of Texas and consider it a job
requirement of a funny Santa Claus.
No one would ask to see your job description.
Real-life Santa Claus Problem
Santa Claus received a parking ticket from a Brooklyn jobsworth.
Word has reached Will and Guy that a New York parking official has
penalised Santa Claus for a parking offence while delivering his presents to
needy children. Father Christmas [aka Chip Cafiero, a retired schoolteacher]
received the $115 USD ticket in Brooklyn. Apparently he shouted to the
official, 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' but he was completely ignored.
Santa claims that his horse-drawn carriage and a SUV carrying the toys
was not causing an obstruction. We are not able to raise a comment
from the police but a local politician has said the parking ticket is
On hearing the news that that the D.A. is
called Mary Christmas, Guy has taken the odds of 6:4 that Santa beats the
Funny Santa Cartoons - Ho Ho Ho
Canada: Father Christmas has his own personal zip code;
it is the alphanumeric number: H0H 0H0. (Ho-Ho-Ho) In this way people who
write to Santa know that their letter will arrive safely. It has been his
personal code since 1982 and Will and Guy have learned that this address
receives some 1 million letters from all over the world each year.
See more funny Santa Claus pictures
Santa and The Train Set
While working in a store as Santa Claus, I had lots of boys ask me for an
electric train set. "If you get your train," I would tell each one, "you
know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that okay?"
The usual answer was a quick yes, but after I asked one boy this
question, he became very quiet. Trying to move the conversation along,
I asked what else he would like Santa to bring him.
He promptly replied, "Another train."
Yes There Is A Santa Claus
If you want the great gift giver
To come on his sleigh and deliver
Then remember this simple rhyme
And recall it at Christmas time
Santa you do not believe
Christmas gifts you will not receive"
Guy and Father
Christmas - A Personal Reminiscence
As a boy of about five, I was taken into the
big city to meet with Father Christmas. He had his elf grotto in the big department store.
My mother and I had to queue, but
eventually I reached Father Christmas and he asked me, 'Guy what would you like for Christmas?'
I dumbfounded, then I surprised my Mother by saying: 'Nothing'.
See more funny Santa cartoons
Other Names for Santa Claus
While it is true that the name Santa Claus was an American 'invention' sometime before 1870. The
original name for the 'figure' associated with the mid-winter festival was
Saint Nicholas, or St. Nick. Other languages have variations or
translations of Saint Nicolas, for example, Père No�l, Papa Noel, Babbo
Natale, Papai Noel, Father Christmas, and Kris Kringle.
See more on the
origins of Santa Claus
Santa Claus and Coca
Cola - The Urban Myth
A popular urban myth is that back in 1928 Coca Cola invented Santa Claus.
What fuels this myth is that his red coat matches perfectly the Coca Cola
The truth is that while early Santa Claus often wore green, Santa Claus
in red was established by the 1860s, long before Coca Cola was invented.
Santa Sacked for Smacking Boy
A Santa Claus is facing the sack from a Dutch shopping centre after he smacked a young boy for pulling his beard.
Peter Hendriks hit the boy on the backside in front of dozens of shoppers in the town of
Rijswijk. Defending his actions, he said: 'If I hadn't
done that, he would have pulled off my beard and dozens of children would have been traumatised.'
More Funny Santa Cartoons
Good Santa - Bad Santa?
Sketch of Santa's Footprint
Santa Banned from
Markets in Austria and Germany
The move in Vienna has been followed by Christmas markets across Austria and Germany where St Nicholas is the traditional bearer of Christmas gifts. Bettina
Schade, from the Frankfurter Nicholas Initiative in Germany commented, 'We object to the material things, the hectic rush to buy gifts, and the ubiquity of the bearded man in the red suit that are taking away
from the core meaning of Christmas.
A Vienna city hall spokesman added that Santa
Claus is an English language creation, people who want to see him should go to America where I am sure Coca Cola will be happy to
oblige. 'The Christian origins of Christmas, like the birth of Jesus, have receded into the background. It's becoming more and more a festival that is reduced to simply worldly gifts and commerce.'
Footnote: In Europe, New Year seems to be more important than Christmas.
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