Humour is a fickle animal. Will,
and I have chosen examples of humour simply because they amuse us. Today we have a much richer
selection of medium for comedy than our grandparents. That said, the old gags are still great, the slapstick one line jokes amuse us because they fire our imagination.
On this page we have a funny video
of a running machine, which typifies the modern expression of our favourite humour. (Free Video Download)
Who is controlling who? The running machine certainly has a mind of its own.
Our hero in full stride on the running machine. The video is even funnier than the still pictures.
N.B. With some browsers you need to click twice on the Play arrow to start the video.
N.B. Help for Mozilla browsers
This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
For my 60th birthday this year, my daughter Rachel (the dear) purchased a week of personal
training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My
daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it
was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda
gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skilful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my
sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out
the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air- then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's
rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth
back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Belinda was impatient
with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My
chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair 'monster'. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told
me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back
in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the
restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine - which I sank.
I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated
any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anaemic, anorexic little cheerleader! If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.
Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the Damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The
treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
Belinda left a message on
my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to
even use the TV remote and ended up catching 11 straight hours of the Weather Channel.
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is
over. I will also pray that next year my daughter Rachel (the little devil) will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend
over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
See more funny pictures of strange and unusual vehicles:
Interesting vehicles •
Wooden cars & funny vehicles •
Spiderman car •
Snow mobile •
• Lawn mower •
Truck art •
Defence cuts •
Funny bicycles •
Fantastic Machine •
Running machine •