- Funny No Swimming Signs
- We Have the 'Hat Trick' No Swimming, Bikes or Dogs
- Classic No Signs Allowed
- Funny Animal No Feeding Signs
- No Gorillas?
- If All Else Fails the Animals Eat the Sign!
- Warning! Alligators Can be Dangerous!
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∇Swimming Notice - No Smoking Underwater!

Funny 'No Swimming' Signs
Which of this pair is the more ridiculous!

Which race is never run?
A swimming race.
We Have the 'Hat Trick' No Swimming, Bikes or Dogs

No Swimming - One for the Ducks

A Maritime Variation on the Funny No Parking Sign


Classic No Signs Allowed

When I was a child, I swam at a pool that had the sign: Welcome to
our _OOL. Notice there is no "P" in it. We'd like to keep it that way!
No Swimming - Crocodiles

No Feeding What?
'No' Signs Featuring Other Animals
Will and Guy hope that amongst these 'No xyz permitted' there is something for everyone.Funny Animal No Feeding Signs

Keep Swimming: An Optimist's View 
Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl. One was an optimistic soul.
But
the other took the gloomy view.
'We'll drown,' he lamented without much
ado,
and with a last despairing cry,
he flung up his legs and said
'Goodbye.' Quote the other frog with a steadfast grin,
'I can't get out but I
won't give in,
I'll just swim around till my strength is spent,
then
I'll die the more content.'
Bravely he swam to work his scheme,
and
his struggles began to churn the cream. The more he swam, his legs a flutter,
the more the cream turned into
butter.
On top of the butter at last he stopped,
and out of the bowl
he gaily hopped. What is the moral? It's easily found........If you
can't hop out, keep swimming around. Author UnknownWorst of the No Swimming Signs

Warning! Alligators Can be Dangerous!

Swimming with Gators
Charlie, the Chief executive officer of Norton Group, throws a party and takes the partygoers on a tour of his opulent mansion. At the rear of the property, Charlie has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. Charlie speaks to his juniors, 'I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!' Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow Charlie on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees Ben, the DF [Director of Finance] in the pool, swimming for his life. Ben dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes. Flabbergasted, Charlie approaches Ben and splutters, 'You are amazing. I've never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.' Ben, exhausted and panting for breath, looks up and says, 'You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!'No Gorillas?
