- Conkers or Hedgehogs?
- A Harsh Lesson in the Hedgehog World
- Harry Hedgehog Torments Basil Bear
- Snippets - Pause for thought
Conkers or Hedgehogs
A Harsh Lesson in the Hedgehog
When Harry Hedgehog was four months old and it was time for his first road
safety lesson. In the middle of the night Mum and Dad Hedgehog took him to the
nearby A27 between Portchester and Fareham.
'OK,' said Dad Hedgehog, 'you are to walk across the road as quickly as you can
all the time looking out for headlights.'
'What do I do if I see headlights?' inquired the young Harry.
'You sit perfectly still in the middle of the lane,' instructed Dad Hedgehog,
while Mum Hedgehog nodded wisely. 'That way the wheels pass by on either side of
Dad and Mum Hedgehog demonstrated this several times then told Harry it was his
Nervously Harry scurried across the road. As he reached the far lane bright
lines came rushing towards him. Harry did exactly as he was told and froze in
the middle of the lane.
There came a screeching of brakes and a dreadful squelching noise.
'Blast!' exclaimed Dad Hedgehog loudly, 'when was the last time you saw a
Reliant Robin on this road.' (See picture right, note wheel arrangement).
Harry Hedgehog Torments Basil Bear
Harry Hedgehog meets Basil Bear who's going to fishing in Langstone Harbour.
Harry asks the Bear, 'Do you need firewood?'
Basil Bear answers, 'No, of course not, Harry.'
'Really?' demands Harry Hedgehog.
'Look, Harry,' says Basil Bear, a little tetchily. Watch my lips - I don't need
'Are you sure, Basil?'
'Get lost with your firewood enquiries, Harry,' shouts the now demented Basil
'But maybe you still need............................'
'No! No! No! Now get lost, Harry,' screeches Basil.
So Harry Hedgehog goes away.
Later, Basil Bear returns home and............... all his firewood has been
Snippets - Pause for thought
- If the cops arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- If a book about failures doesn't
sell, is it a success?
- Hermits have no peer group pressure.
- Why are cigarettes sold in
gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
- Why in a country of free speech, why are there 'phone bills?
- Can you be
a closet claustrophobic?
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