Funny Hedgehog Pictures

• Conkers or Hedgehogs?
• The Story of a Hedgehog
  Put on a Diet
• A Harsh Lesson in the Hedgehog World
  
• Harry Hedgehog Torments Basil Bear
• Hedgehog Story for ChildrenInteresting Facts About Hedgehogs

Conkers or Hedgehogs

The Story of a Hedgehog Put on a Diet

George weighed 2.2kg [4.8lb] when staff at the Wildlife Aid Centre in
Leatherhead, Surrey, England, discovered him in a volunteer’s garden. He was put
on a high protein diet before starting a daily exercise regime, reports the BBC.

He now weighs 1.7kg [3.7lb] shedding 500g [1.1lb] on the strict diet. Becky
Banning, General Manager at the Wildlife Aid Centre, said George had originally
grown overweight due to eating high fat foods intended for birds. She added,
‘Hedgehogs normally feed on whatever they find in the garden, so George was
picking up peanuts and bread. Now he’s on a strict food regime, so he’s fed cat
food once a day in the evening, and no bread. It’s the hedgehog equivalent of
the Atkins diet, and it’s about keeping him away from the fat and giving him
more protein.’

Staff at the Wildlife Aid Centre said the average adult hedgehog should weigh
between 600 and 700g [1.3 and 1.5lbs] and they expect George to reach that
weight in 4 to 5 months.

Here is a photographic comparison between an obese hedgehog and one of normal
size.

You Couldn’t Make It Up: Assault with a Prickly Weapon

It has come to our notice that a New Zealand man has been accused of assault
with a prickly weapon: a hedgehog.

Police allege that a 27 year old male picked up the hedgehog and threw it at
a 15-year-old boy in the North Island east coast town of Whakatane.

The youngster had a large red welt and several puncture marks, police
commented, but he was not badly hurt. Sadly the hedgehog was dead when it
appeared in court.  We do not know whether he was alive when the assault took
place.

Funny Animal Story for Children

A Harsh Lesson in the Hedgehog
World

When Harry Hedgehog was four months old and it was time for his first road
safety lesson.  In the middle of the night Mum and Dad Hedgehog took him to the
nearby A27 between Portchester and Fareham.

‘OK,’ said Dad Hedgehog, ‘you are to walk across the road as quickly as you can
all the time looking out for headlights.’

‘What do I do if I see headlights?’ inquired the young Harry.

‘You sit perfectly still in the middle of the lane,’ instructed Dad Hedgehog,
while Mum Hedgehog nodded wisely. ‘That way the wheels pass by on either side of
you.’

Dad and Mum Hedgehog demonstrated this several times then told Harry it was his
turn.

Nervously Harry scurried across the road. As he reached the far lane bright
lines came rushing towards him. Harry did exactly as he was told and froze in
the middle of the lane.

There came a screeching of brakes and a dreadful squelching noise.

‘Blast!’ exclaimed Dad Hedgehog loudly, ‘when was the last time you saw a
Reliant Robin on this road.’ (See picture right, note wheel arrangement).

Harry Hedgehog Torments Basil Bear

Harry Hedgehog meets Basil Bear who’s going to fishing in Langstone Harbour.  Harry asks the Bear, ‘Do you need firewood?’

Basil Bear answers, ‘No, of course not, Harry.’

‘Really?’ demands Harry Hedgehog.
‘Look, Harry,’ says Basil Bear, a little tetchily.  Watch my lips – I don’t need
firewood.’

‘Are you sure, Basil?’
‘Get lost with your firewood enquiries, Harry,’ shouts the now demented Basil
Bear.

‘But maybe you still need……………………….’
‘No! No! No! Now get lost, Harry,’ screeches Basil.

So Harry Hedgehog goes away.

Later, Basil Bear returns home and…………… all his firewood has been
stolen.

Hedgehog Story for Children

Interesting Blond Hedgehog (And also an Albino)

A rare blond hedgehog enjoys some autumn sunshine at  a rescue
centre after being found at a West Midlands, England, care home. His light
colouring makes him too vulnerable to predators to live in the wild Reports
BBC online.

Will and Guy speculate whether this blond / pink hedgehog (above) is
really the rare albino form (see below).  Or just a normal hedgehog
with a different coloured skin.  Only 1 hedgehog in 12,000 is born with
a mutant gene that results in no pigmentation.

Interesting Facts About
Hedgehogs:

• If you think about the name hedge-hog, it tells you a great deal about
  this animal. Hog – snout like a pig: hedge – where it roots about for slugs
  and snails.
• Hedgehogs are found in Europe, Asia and Africa.  In some parts of
  the USA people have introduced the African Pygmy hedgehog, but it’s not native
  to American, and hedgehogs are banned in California.
• For hedgehogs, smell is their primary sense, however hearing also
  pays a large part in its senses.  Hedgehogs hibernate for one simple reason: to survive the winter, for
  the rest of the year they are solitary and nocturnal, hence their eyesight
  is not highly developed. 
• The male hedgehog is called the boar and the female the sow, their their offspring are hoglets.
  Incidentally, the sows are grateful that the hoglets are born without
  spines.
  Incidentally, the collective noun for hedgehogs is an array.
• The hedgehog is an insectivore and eats lots of beetles and caterpillars;
  they particularly like, earthworms and slugs.  Hedgehogs have a
  varied diet and will also eat small
  mammals, snails, millipedes, earwigs and even bees.
• In Will and Guy’s view, Mrs Tiggywinkle is the most famous of all
  hedgehogs.  Mrs Tiggwinkle appears in Beatrix Potter’s books where she
  is usually ironing, or starching shirts.  (See hedgehog picture to the right).
  By comparison Sonic the Hedgehog is a young interloper.
• Sadly, hedgehogs are becoming rare, even endangered.  The problem
  is fewer good old scruffy gardens.  These days it’s either manicured
  lawn or patio.  Other enemies of the hedgehogs include cars,
  lawnmowers, strimmers, plus the occasional fox or badger.

Here is Another Batch of Interesting Hedgehog Facts and Trivia

• Hedgehogs have approx 6,000 spines on their backs.
• Ancient Egyptians thought that hedgehog fat would cure baldness.
• Bananas are a well loved food, supposedly good for a hedgehog’s
  digestive system.
• Adult weight is around 1-2 kilograms and at its heaviest which is in
  the autumn.  Adult males grow to approximately 230mm [9inches]
  long.
• Life expectancy in the hedgehog world is a mere 2-3 years.
  Furthermore, approximately half the hedgehog population dies before they
  are a year old.
• Hedgehogs can swim, climb walls and run fast – speeds of up to 2
  metres a second [4.5 mph].
• The European hedgehog is one of 14 species of spiny hedgehog
  throughout the world.
• They belong to the Erinacerdae family, a family containing hairy
  hedgehogs as well as spiny ones.
• See an interesting
  collection of hedgehog pictures and cartoons

Drunk Hedgehog
Rescued in Devon, England

A hedgehog has been treated in an animal hospital after getting drunk on
fermenting apples in an orchard, Will and Guy have the latest on this funny
hedgehog story.  The animal was discovered lying on its back and
squealing last week and was helped by local wildlife rescue expert Ann
McCormack at “The Prickly Ball Hedgehog Hospital” in South Devon. No we have
not made this up!

Ms McCormack said, ‘They had placed it in a guinea pig cage and it kept
going round in circles. The hedgehog kept falling over and was on its back
with its legs up in the air for most of the time. It was legless. This is
definitely the first drunk hedgehog I have found.  The next morning I
came in and turned the light on and she squealed really loudly.  She
obviously still had a big headache.’

The hedgehog, interestingly named Tipsy, will be fed up to a healthy
weight of 600g before being released back into the wild in the spring.

Funny Hedgehog Story From The Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2009

This joke was voted for by a panel of nine experts who decided that:
‘Hedgehogs. Why can’t they just share the hedge?’ was the funniest and it
won the accolade for London comic Dan Antopolski, 36, who is known for his
surreal stand up routines.

Nine comedy critics sifted through more than 3,600 minutes of material to
find the winner of the “Dave Award for the Funniest Joke of the Fringe”.
With nearly 18% of votes, Mr. Antopolski took top spot and walked away with
a trophy from TV channel Dave and a £1,000 cash prize.

The joke was taken originally from the Perrier Award-nominee’s show
“Silent But Deadly”.

Footnote:
Please send us your funny hedgehog pictures and, especially any hedgehog
stories for children.