A Goosey Short Story

Alfred Hitchock, going through customs, was asked by a customs official
to state his occupation.
Hitchock replied that he was a producer.

‘What do you produce?’ asked the official.
‘Gooseflesh,’ replied

Picture of a Canadian Goose with Goslings


Interesting Facts About the Goose

There are lots of lovely names associated with goose.  The male is the
gander, and the eggs hatch into goslings.  When in flight the group are
called a ‘gaggle of geese’.

There aren’t that many animals where the singular and pleural words have
different stems, mouse and mice are the only other pair that come to mind.
Also, there are probably only a handful animals which take their name from the
female of the species, apart from goose, cow is the only other example that I
can think of.

This interesting variety of names tells me that the English must have a very old
association with the goose.  For example, old-timers tell me that in their
youth goose was more highly prized than chicken or turkey, especially at
Christmas and Michaelmas.

A Gaggle of Geese

Gaggle of Geese

This pair of splendid Canada geese have an enormous gaggle of chicks to
look after but seem very able to cope as they take their family for a swim
on the River Thames at Caversham, Reading, England.

Further Goose Trivia and
Interesting Information
Golden Goose Egg

“Goosey Goosey Gander” is an English language nursery rhyme. The most
common modern version that Will and Guy have found of the lyrics is:

Goosey goosey gander,
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs and downstairs
And in my lady’s chamber.
There I met an old man
Who wouldn’t say his
So I took him by his left leg
And threw him down the stairs.

Further research confirms that the earliest recorded version of this
rhyme is in “Gammer Gurton’s Garland” or “The Nursery Parnassus” published
in London, England, in 1784. Like most early versions of the rhyme it does
not include the last four lines:

Goose-a goose-a gander,
Where shall I
Up stairs and down stairs,
In my lady’s chamber;
you’ll find a cup of sack*
And a race* of ginger.

*sack = wine
*race = root or handGolden Goose Egg

Will, being a former teacher of History, has read
that amateur historian, Chris Roberts, writes that the rhyme is heavily
linked to the propaganda campaign against the Roman Catholic Church during
the reign of King Henry VIII. [1509-1547]  However, Will can find no
corroborative evidence to support this claim, though he believes it is
probably true.

Come On You Two!

A Story About the Goose
That Made Will and Guy ThinkThe Goose Story:

The Goose Story:

next time
you see Geese
heading South for
Winter, flying along
in V formation, you might
consider what science has dis-
covered as to why they fly that way:
As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an
uplift for the bird immediately
following. By
flying in V formation the whole flock adds at least
71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.

People who share a common direction and sense
of community
can get where they are going more quickly and easily
because they are
travelling on the thrust of one another.

a goose falls
out of
it suddenly feels the drag
and resistance of trying to go it alone
and quickly gets back into formation to take
advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.

If we have as much sense as a goose,
we will stay in formation
with those who are headed the same way we are.

the Head Goose

gets tired, it rotates back
in the wing and another goose flies point.

It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs
with people or with geese flying South.

honk from behind to
encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

What do we say when we honk from behind?

and this is
when a goose gets sick, or is
wounded by gunshots and falls out
of formation, two other geese fall out with that
goose and follow it down to lend help and protection.
They stay
with the fallen goose until it is able to fly, or until
it dies. Only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation
to catch up with their group.


The Fox and the Goose StoryFox, goose and corn story

Andy went on a journey accompanied by a fox, a goose and carrying an open
can of corn.

He happened upon a stream which he had to cross and luckily found a small
boat that he could use to cross the river. Andy discovered he could only
take himself and one other – the fox, the goose, or the corn – at a time.
He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the
corn for obvious reasons.

Can you work out how Andy gets all safely over the stream?
Clue, there are four journeys.

Scroll down to find out:


Answer To Fox and Goose Question:

  1. Take the goose over first and come back.
  2. Then take the fox over and bring the goose back.
  3. Now take the corn over and come back alone to get the goose.
  4. Take the goose over and the job is done!

The Geese In The Storm Story – How Saul Found God

There was once a man, Saul, who didn’t believe in God, and he didn’t
hesitate to let others know how he felt about religion and religious
holidays, like Christmas.

His wife, on the other hand, did believe, and she raised their children
to also have faith in God and Jesus, despite Saul’s disparaging comments.

One snowy Christmas Eve, his wife was taking their children to a
Christmas Eve church service in the small community in which they lived.  She
asked Saul to come, but he refused. ‘That story is nonsense!,’ he said.  ‘Why
would God lower Himself to come to Earth as a man? That’s ridiculous.’

So she and the children went to church, and he stayed at home.

That evening, the winds grew stronger and the snow turned into a
blizzard. As Saul looked out the window, all he saw was a blinding
snowstorm. He sat down to relax before the fire for the evening. Then Saul
heard a loud thump. Something had hit the window.  Then another thump. He
looked out, but couldn’t see more than a few feet. When the snow let up a
little, Saul ventured outside to see what could have been beating on his
Christmas Geese Stories

In the field near his house he saw a flock of wild geese.
Apparently they had been flying south for the winter when they got caught in
the snowstorm and couldn’t go on. They were lost and stranded on his farm,
with no food or shelter. They just flapped their wings and flew around the
field in low circles, blindly and aimlessly.

Saul, an animal lover, felt sorry for the geese and wanted to help them.
The barn would be a great place for them to stay, he thought. It’s warm and
safe; surely they could spend the night and wait out the storm.  So he walked
over to the barn and opened the doors wide, then watched and waited, hoping
they would notice the open barn and go inside. But the geese just fluttered
around aimlessly and didn’t seem to notice the barn or realize what it could
mean for them. Saul tried to get their attention, but that just seemed to
scare them and they moved further away.

He went into the house and came with some bread, broke it up, and made a
breadcrumb trail leading to the barn.  They still didn’t catch on.  Now he was
getting frustrated. He got behind them and tried to shoo them toward the
barn, but they only got more scared and scattered in every direction except
toward the barn.  Nothing he did could get them to go into the barn where
they would be warm and safe.  ‘Why don’t they follow me?’ Saul exclaimed.  ‘Can’t they see this is the only place where they can survive the storm?’

He thought for a moment and realised that they just wouldn’t follow a
human. ‘If only I were a goose, then I could save them,’ he said out loud.

Then Saul had an idea. He went into barn, got one of his own geese, and
carried it in his arms as he circled around behind the flock of wild geese.  He then released it. His goose flew through the flock and straight into the
barn, and one by one the other geese followed it to safety. He stood
silently for a moment as the words he had spoken a few minutes earlier
replayed in his mind: ‘If only I were a goose, then I could save them.’

Then Saul thought about what he had said to his wife earlier. ‘Why would
God want to be like us? That’s ridiculous.’

Suddenly it all made sense. That is what God had done. We were like the
geese, blind, lost, perishing. God had His Son become like us so He could
show us the way and save us. That was the meaning of Christmas, he realised.

As the winds and blinding snow died down, his soul became quiet and
pondered this wonderful thought. Suddenly he understood what Christmas was
all about, why Christ had come. Years of doubt and disbelief vanished like
the passing storm. Saul fell to his knees in the snow, and prayed his first
prayer, ‘Thank You, God, for coming in human form to get me out of the

This story, say Will and Guy, appears to be a adaptation of a tale
written by written by Louis Cassels in 1959 which we have slightly developed

Funny Goose Pictures

Come on You Two!

Goose Picture

A Picture of Two Geese on A Pond

Two geese

One goose says to the other, ‘What
do you do whenever you feel lonely?’

The other one said, ‘No problem, I just have a gander around.’

Incidentally, a goose is one of those animals like cows which is named
after the female of the species.

Feathered Friends on Motorway

Swan Motorway

We think they are probably swans rather than geese.


You know that certain time of year, when all you need do is sniff the
air, when coconuts in the shops appear?… that’s right, it’s time for the
old Goosefair! Jig saw bits gaudily painted, head for the site to get
reacquainted, goodies and baddies, beggars and sainted… for 700 years
they’ve gathered to say… Come to the old Goosefair.

Stand on the hill and look into the night, hear
the screams of pleasurable fright, The whole of the forests ablaze with
light… the return of the old Goosefair! The Barkers vans stand side by
side, their home’s wherever the Gypsies bide. Smart and tidy, testament to
pride… the lure of the Nottingham fair kids, Come to the old Goosefair!

There’s a market runs along the top, of pots and
pans they’ve got the lot Whether you really need them or not… they’re
part of the old Goosefair! Is that a beer tent I deduce, where you can get
your favoured juice, buy anything… except a goose, here at the Nottingham
fair lads, Come to the old Goosefair!

“Roll up
roll up and try your luck! Two balls in a bucket try to chuck, Or have a go
on the hook a duck!”… there’s fun at the old Goosefair. A ride on the
dodgems tests your nerve, you thunder along bump and swerve, Try to avoid
and twist and curve,… thrills at the Nottingham fair friends, Come to
the old Goosefair!

A pretty lass a gypsies
beguiled, on the waltzer he spins her wild, she seems to me little more than
a child… there’s love at the old Goosefair. Stand beneath the Ferris
wheel, listen to the riders squeal, you really do need nerves of steel… to ride at the Nottingham fair teens, Come to the old Goosefair!

See the double jointed lady, or hit the dartboard bulls-eye maybe and win a
teddy for next doors baby… there’s skill at the old Goosefair. Sit on the
helter skelter mat, hang onto your ‘Kiss me!’hat, did you pay five quid for
that?… robbed at the Nottingham fair pals, Come to the old Goosefair.

“Two little ducks are twenty two” the Bingo Barker
calls to you, its somewhere to rest when you’re 72… tired bones at the old
Goosefair. The noise is a cacophony of song, you’re pushed and shoved by the
throng, grab a ride as you roll along… dizzy at the Nottingham fair
mates, Come to the old Goosefair!

Fortunes told
by Gypsy Rose Lee, she crooks her finger and points to me, don’t wanna know
what my future will be… mystery at the old Goosefair. Go on be tempted as
you pass, the sideshow with the bearded lass, Gawp with the others as they
mass, gog eyed at the Nottingham Fair grandpa, Come to the old Goosefair!

Pink candy floss spun to a peak, toffee apples
so crisp and sweet, hot dogs, mushy peas, lots to eat… watch your weight
at the old Goosefair. A lost balloon in the darkening sky, folk start to
leave and a kid cries why? Mam says it’s time to say goodbye… this year
to the Nottingham fair pet, Come to the old Goosefair!

That girl waits by his caravan door, she’s
clearly smitten and wanting more I hope not more than she bargained
for… there’s danger at the old Goosefair. By morning light they’ve all
moved on, the sideshows and the rides have gone, even of litter there is
none… nowt left of the old Goosefair now, farewell to the old

Joy James

Note, Joy wrote this poem for the 717th world famous
Nottingham Goose Fair which happens the first Wed Thurs, Fri, and Sat of
every October.

See more at Joy James

Please send us your funny goose pictures and

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