- Guy Fawkes and Bonfire Night Jokes
- Firework Fiascos
- Fake Bonfires
- The 1605 Gunpowder Plot
- Funny Guy Fawkes Pictures
- Lewes Bonfire Night Societies
- Record Fireworks in China
- 1 Guy Fawkes and Bonfire Night Jokes
- 2 Funny Bonfire Night Cartoon
- 3 How Many People Does It Take To Light a Guy Fawkes Bonfire?
- 4 Firework Fiascos
- 5 Oban Scotland Minute Fireworks
- 6 Guy Fawkes Ditty
- 7 Or This Disrespectful Old Poem Favoured by Anti-Papists
- 8 Fake Bonfires
- 9 The 1605 Gunpowder Plot
- 10 Bonfire Night Celebrations
- 11 Lewes Bonfire Night Societies
- 12 Lewes Cliffe Bonfire Society
- 13 Record Fireworks in China
- 14 Origin of Fireworks
- 15 St.John's Bonfires - Spain
- 16 Your First Firework Display
- Latecomer: Am I too late for the bonfire? Host: No jump up there on the sticks, there is room next to that Guy.
- How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize? 'Cause he was outstanding in his field'.
- How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start your Guy Fawkes bonfire?
- Also remember on Guy Fawkes Night, of all nights: Keep the Pope off the moon. Spike Milligan
Funny Bonfire Night CartoonA policeman arrested two kids. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off! See more funny Guy Fawkes pictures.
How Many People Does It Take To Light a Guy Fawkes Bonfire?
- How many safety inspectors does it take to light the bonfire? 4. One to light the match and three to hold the fire extinguisher
- How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes? 23. One to strike the match and twenty two to fill in the paper work.
- How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? 3. One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
- How many aerospace engineers does it take to light the kindling sticks? 0. You don't need a rocket science to start a bonfire.
- How many Apple employees does it take to flame Guy Fawkes? 5. One to light the match and four to design the t-shirt.
- How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the bonfire? 0. Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
- How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.
- How many fish does it take to set the Guy Fawkes bonfire burning?Surrealist.
Bournemouth England With firework, usually all you see is spectacular pictures and video footage that seems to go on for hours, however, firework displays don't always go smoothly. For example, in August 2009 over 100,000 people assembled in Bournemouth for a "heart-pounding, roaring, glowing, explosive event like no other - the launch of 110,000 fireworks in 60 seconds or less". What happened was 100,000 rockets were all let off at the same time from a barge just off the shore. People turned to one another said, 'was that it?' or 'what was that?' London, England Millennium Eve The "River of Fire" was supposed to be a spectacular firework display intended to engulf the Thames, however it fizzled out like a damp squib. Footnote: For a good choice of hotels with discount prices, visit Hotel in London for more information. Pittston, Pennsylvania USA 4th of July 2007 With firework display's it's easy to forget that sometimes things go wrong and people get hurt. What probably happened in this Pittson accident was that the fireworks went of nearer horizontally than vertically, and injured about 20 people in the crowd. The mayor said the most serious injuries were suffered by two or three people from the pyrotechnics company. He said two of the three were classified as serious. One suffered burns and smoke inhalation and another suffered a "shrapnel gash to the upper left leg."
Guy Fawkes DittyRemember, remember the Fifth of November, The Gunpowder Treason and Plot, I know of no reason Why Gunpowder Treason Should ever be forgot.
Or This Disrespectful Old Poem Favoured by Anti-PapistsA penny loaf to feed the Pope A farthing o' cheese to choke him. A pint of beer to rinse it down. A faggot of sticks to burn him. Burn him in a tub of tar. Burn him like a blazing star. Burn his body from his head. Then we'll say ol' Pope is dead. Hip hip hoorah! Hip hip hoorah hoorah!
There was a new development for Guy Fawkes celebrations in 2007 - fake bonfires. The reason is because of the astronomic increase in cost of public liability insurance, which is now required for November 5th celebrations. Curiously, the problem is the cost of insuring the bonfire and not the firework display. Trowse, Norwich, in Norfolk England The Trowsers community group organised a fake bonfire display, which was projected onto a 30 ft by 15 ft screen. The idea of using a film came after they brainstormed alternatives when insurers refused to cover their bonfire. But Paul Billing, spokesman for The Trowsers, said: 'Quite a few people came and I think it went down rather well.' The three-hour film featured a bonfire that Mr Billing filmed in his back garden before the recent concern over public liability insurance, and the unwillingness of companies to provide cover at a reasonable cost. The fake bonfire was popular with parents of young children who didn't have to worry about their little ones getting too near any real flames. See more examples of red tape killing funSee more on the origins of Bonfire Night.
From the seventeenth century there have been organized celebrations for November the 5th. However, in recent decades the number of private firework displays seems to have decreased. In my childhood it was was common for parents to set off a couple of dozen fireworks for their children. Partly due to safety, partly due to cost, mainly to the quality of the communal displays, nowadays, people prefer to attend a huge public firework spectacular rather than buy their own rockets and Catherine wheels. One peculiarity of Bonfire Night (compared with say 4th of July) is that 60% of the 5th of November celebrations take place on a different night. The main factor is that the 5th of November is not a public holiday, thus celebrations are more popular on the Friday and Saturday nights nearest to the actual 5th of November.
Lewes Cliffe Bonfire Society
The Cliffe bonfire society refuses to march with the other society in the parade down Lewes high street. Some say it's because they prefer to drink than than to march, old-times say there was a falling out with other societies a long time ago. It is also true that the Cliffe society are the most radical, anti-Pope and pro-protestant. Those of the Cliffe society are also dedicated to remembering the 17 Lewes martyrs who were killed by the Catholic Queen Mary also known as Mary Tudor or 'Bloody Mary'. Here they are in the photo with their Nulli Secundus (Second to none) motto. Footnote: It is rumoured that the Lewis, E. Sussex bonfire is to be twinned with the Lerwick Up-Helly-Aa
The Chinese city of Liuyang is hoping to get into the record books by letting off a twelve-and-a-half mile string of firecrackers. A total of 35 fireworks factories in Liuyang city, Hunan province, have worked together to create the firecrackers. Zeng Mengxiong, the chief technician of the project, told the Changsha Evening News, 'We are doing this to celebrate the upcoming Liuyang International Firecracker Festival.' Zeng estimates it will take 85 to 90 minutes for all of the firecrackers to explode:, 'At the beginning and end, the firing speed should be slow, in the middle, really fast,' he added. The firecrackers will be let off on the opening day of the festival, October 26, when onlookers will be kept back a safe distance. 'We have set up a 10 metre-wide quarantine zone on either side of the string, and will have more than 3,000 guards,' a government spokesman said. 'We aren't worried about rain, since the firecrackers are water-proof.'
Origin of FireworksFireworks in one form or another, have been around for at least 2,000 years. One enduring legend has it that fireworks were invented by a Chinese cook, who was working in an outdoor kitchen. What happened was he mischievously mixed sulphur and saltpetre with charcoal from his kitchen fire. Next he compressed the mixture in a bamboo tube, powder exploded and he had the world's first firework. It has also been hinted that the Indians invented fireworks, however in 2003 an Indian national newspaper (The Hindu) credited the Chinese with inventing firecrackers.
St.John's Bonfires - SpainThis bonfire celebrations lasts for 5 days in Alicante, Spain, business comes to a standstill.
Your First Firework DisplayIn our opinion the biggest danger of hosting your own firework display is that you get careless. What tends to happen is that a spark from one firework will accidentally set off all the rest, especially if their lid to their box is open. If you are having your very own fireworks display on bonfire night, here is a useful checklist. The Firework Code
- Keep fireworks in a sealed box or tin
- Use them one at a time, replacing the lid immediately
- NEVER put fireworks in your pocket
- Read the instructions carefully, using a torch or hand lamp. NEVER use a naked flame to read the labels
- Light fireworks at arms length using a taper or a firework lighter
- Stand well back and NEVER return to a firework after it has been lit, it could explode in your face
- Ensure that all children with fireworks are well supervised
- NEVER throw fireworks
- Don't drink alcohol if setting off fireworks
- Keep all pets and animals indoors
- Take care with sparklers, wear gloves to hold them and dispose of sparklers in a bucket of water as soon as they are finished.