Tech Support Jokes

• Give Microsoft a chance
• Change of Mind
• Dial Tone
• First Email

Give Microsoft a chance

Customer: ‘I’m having trouble installing
Microsoft Word.’

Tech Support: ‘Tell me what You’ve done.’

Customer: ‘I typed A:SETUP.’

Tech Support: ‘Ma’
am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.’

Customer: ‘It says [PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.

Tech Support: ‘Insert the MS Word setup disk.’  Customer: ‘What?’

Tech Support: ‘Did you buy Microsoft Word?’
Customer: ‘No…’

Change of Mind

Customer: I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don’t want my wife to think that it’s me.’
Advisor: ‘I will remove them for you.’

Customer: ‘How do I get them back when
she is not in?’

Dial Tone

Tech
Support: ‘Thank you for calling. May I have your phone number beginning with area code first, please?’
There was a pregnant pause, then a series of touch tones.

Tech Support: ‘Hello? I need your
phone number, please’. More touch tones.

Tech Support: ‘Hi, can you hear me?’
Customer: ‘Yes.’

Tech Support: ‘Great, then can you please tell me your phone number so I can pull up your file?’
More touch tones.

Tech Support: ‘Sir, what’s
your name?’
Customer: Malcolm
Tech Support: ‘Great, now can you tell me your phone number?’
Touch tones again.

Tech Support: ‘Please, tell me your
phone number.’
Customer: ‘Again?’

Tech Support: ‘Yes sir, if you don’t
mind, but can you please just tell me verbally?’
Touch tones yet again.

Tech Support: ‘Sir, contrary to popular opinion,
support is not half machine. I’ll need you to verbally tell me your phone number with your mouth so I can bring up your account info, got it?’
Customer: ‘You people are rude as well as incompetent.’

First Email

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’
in the address, but how do I get
the circle around it?

• See more Tech Support Calls
• More clean jokes and one-liners for May