Inglish Jokes, Indian English, | Funny Inlish Pictures

Indian English comprises several dialects of English spoken primarily in the Indian subcontinent.  These
dialects arose during the colonial rule of Britain in India and provide a
rich seam of Inglish jokes.

Will and Guy would like to share with our readers some examples of this
“type of English speak.”  We do not do this to poke fun at
our Indian friends, although some expressions do bring a smile to our lips.

• Inglish Heard After an
  English Exam
• 7 Amusing Examples of
  Inglish
• Inlish Abbreviations
• More Inglish Jokes
• Funny Inglish Pictures
• The Origin of Inglish Humor

Inglish Heard After an
English Exam

Devyani; Hey, I wanted to confirm one of my answers. Can you help

Anil: Sure, which one was it?

Devyani: Well, we were supposed to add a suitable preposition in the
blank. The question was, ‘Bear ____ me for a while.’

Naturally, the answer was “Bear with me for a while.” This means that the
speaker requests the person to be patient for a while.

Devyani, however, changed the meaning completely with her answer by
writing: “Bear chased me for a while.”

Ingrish Heard In the Office

Once, my colleague, Hasan, wanted to inform our Director that his mother
was seriously ill and that he needed a few days of leave. His application
reads as follows:

Wrong Inglish: My mother is very dangerous and I want to
saw her. Please leave me three days.

The mother is not dangerous. She’s very ill. Also, he doesn’t want to saw
her, which sounds gruesome. Instead he wants to “see her”, or better still,
“be by her side”. Finally, he is requesting leave; he doesn’t want the boss
to actually leave him for three days.

Correct English: My mother is seriously ill and I would
like to be by her side. Therefore, I request you grant me leave for three
days.

Tiffin Is an Indian English Word for Light Snack, Tea,
Brunch ……..   Tiffin Available

Funny Inglish Jokes

More examples of Inlish or Ingrish which you may hear in India or Sri Lanka.

Wrong: Take this letter and post yourself.

Correct: Please take this letter and post it yourself.

Wrong: Udupi Hotel fooding is not good.

Correct: The food at Udupi Hotel is not good.

Inlish Heard In the Park

Another funny incident happened to Vivendra who was walking in a park
with his cousin, Farah.

Vivendra: Wow, what a peaceful atmosphere. It’s so calm.
Farah: Yes,
this calamity is very nice.

Calamity refers to a disaster or a tragedy.  Farah answer mean
something completely different to what she meant.

7 Amusing Examples of Inglish
or Sri Lankan English

1. Sri Lankans may say: I am liking it very much.
   Instead of saying: I
   like it very much.
2. They might say: She performs many charities.
   Instead of:
   She gives away a lot to charity.
3. They might say: My all closets are empty.
   Instead of: My closets
   are all empty.
4. A question: ‘Didn’t you take Rita to school?’
   May be answered
   with: Yes, I didn’t. Instead of: No, I didn’t.
5. They might say: Let’s go out for some ice-cream-vice-cream.
   They
   mean: Let us go out for some ice-cream.
6. They might say: What is your good name?
   Instead of: What is your
   name?
7. Will’s Mother, who is from Sri Lanka used to say such things
   as:
   They did it, no? / He is here, isn’t it?/ She closed the door,
   did she?
   Instead of: They did it, didn’t they? / He is here, isn’t
   he?/ She closed the door, didn’t she?

Compiled by Will with the help of Dr Roopa Nishi Viswanathan

Inglish Abbreviations

At the other end of the speech spectrum these Inglish, or Ingrish funnies arise from
shortening English words.

• Subsi = subsidiary
• Supli = supplementary
• Soopi = superintendent
• Princi = principle
• Gen. Sec. or G. Sec. = General Secretary
• Soc. Sec. = Social Secretary
• Lab ass = laboratory assistant
• Ass wardi = assistant warden

Raj and the Wedding

Raj and Jeeto were preparing wedding cards for their daughter at the
printers.

Jeeto was not very good at English so she asked the printer to
help her. After the printer had presented her with a draft, she
quickly pointed out that the “RSVP ” was missing.

The printer was surprised by Jeeto’s knowledge and asked her if
she knew what it meant.

Jeeto started to think and after much thought he replied, ‘Vait!
I remember. I remember – RSVP.  It means “Remember, Send Vedding
Present.”‘

Amusing Inlish Picture

Hilarious and Funny Examples of Indian English
Gleaned from Jason
Baldridge [UK – Daily Telegraph]

‘Entry From Backside Only’, is a funny Ingrish sign that refers to a phrase commonly used on signposts
in India to indicate the rear entrance of a building.

More Inglish Jokes

Dear sir, with reference to your above, see my below – popular opening
line in official letters.

• Teachress – a female teacher.
• Timepass – a trivial activity that passes the time.
• She freaked out last night – she had a good time.
• Your lyrical missive has enveloped me in the sweet fragrance of our
  love – from a book advising lovers on how to write to girlfriends.
• Premesh Patel has left for his heavenly above – a death notice.
• Hue and Cry notice – title of police missing person newspaper
  advertisement.
• Don’t do nuisance in public – government admonition against
  urinating in public.

Perhaps the most endearing aspect of Indian English is the way it has
preserved forms now regarded as highly old-fashioned in Britain. Addresses
such as “Good sir” and questions like “May I know your good name?” are
commonplace, as are terms like “tiffin” and “cantonment”.

Adding to English Words
to Create Inglish

Let us start with Inglish humor by examining the practice in Mumbai of adding -fy to a Hindi word
to indicate that an action is being done to someone by someone.  From the
Hindi word muska, to muskafy means to flatter somebody or to butter them up.
Similarly, to pataofy is the action of wooing someone.

Examples of Inglish Acronyms

• MCP = Male Chauvinist Pig
• FOC = Free Of Charge
• MPK = Maine Pyar Kiya (a popular movie)
• QSQT = Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak (a popular movie)
• ILU = I Love You (from a song; pronounced ee-lu)
• ABCD = American Born Confused Deshi (native of India)
• FOB = Fresh Off the Boat

The Origin of Inglish Jokes

English has been with India since the early 1600’s, when the East India
Company started trading and English missionaries first began their efforts.

The English which is spoken in India is different from that spoken in
other regions of the world, and it is regarded as the unique variety which
is called Indian English or Inglish.

Indians also shorten many words to create commonly used terms.

Enthusiasm is called enthu; as such, it can be used in new ways. One can
say, ‘That guy has a lot of enthu.’ While this is simply an abbreviation,
enthu can also be used as an adjective where enthusiasm cannot, as in ‘He’s
a real enthu guy.’

The same applies for fundamentals, which is shortened as fundas. ‘She
knows her fundas.’ What is interesting about fundas is that when the -as
ending is dropped and -u is added, it takes on a new meaning and can be used
in a new way. Fundu basically means wonderful or brilliant. One can say ‘He
is a fundu person’ or even ‘He is fundu.’

Sardar Style Ingrish Jokes

1. Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone in his Phone Book and
   told them: “My mobile number has changed, earlier it was Nokia 3310, now
   it is 6710″
2. Two Sardarjis are looking at an Egyptian mummy.
   Sardar 1: Look,
   so many bandages!  Must be a pukka lorry accident case.
   Sardar
   2: Aaho, lorry number is also written…BC 1760!!!
3. Sardar Premdeep Singh is sitting his University final examination.
   He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper
   for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off
   and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws
   it away as well. His shirt, pants, socks and watch follow suit.The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

   ‘Oye, I am only following the instructions,’ Premdeep replies, ‘it
   says here, “Answer the following questions in brief.”‘

Santa Banta Visits A Bar

Santa goes into a bar in New York.

The man on his right orders a drink, ‘Johnnie Walker, single.’

The man on his left says, ‘Jack Daniels, single.’

Santa says. ‘Santa Singh, married.’

See more Sardar jokes

Ten
Funny Reasons Why English and Inglish are so Difficult

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. There was a row
   among the oarsmen about how to row.
3. They were too close to the door to
   close it.
4. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
5. They
   sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
6. To help with
   planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
7. The wind was too strong to
   wind the sail.
8. After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
9. I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
10. I had to subject
    the subject to a series of tests.

English and Inglish

English is one of the official languages of India, with about ninety
million speakers according to the 1991 Census.

Fewer than a quarter of a million people speak English as their first
language. With the exception of some families who communicate primarily in
English, as well as members of the relatively small Anglo-Indian community
numbering less than half a million, speakers of Indian English use it as a
second or third language, after their respective Indian language(s).

Several idiomatic forms, derived from Indian literary and vernacular
language, also have made their way into Indian English. Despite this
diversity, there is general homogeneity in syntax and vocabulary among the
varieties of Indian English.

See Indian festivals.

Footnote
Please send us your Inglish jokes, pictures and funny
stories.