- Short Relationship Jokes
- Happy Anniversary
- Good Basis for Marriage?
- Thought Provoking Relationships and Stories
- Did You Know?
- How Do Men and Women Decide Who to Marry?
- Good Policy?
- The Natural Look
- Why Men Have Two Dogs and Not Two Wives
- Friends and Neighbours
Sponsored Links
∇Short Relationship Jokes
Why We Split Up
She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit. Then I caught her spending $65 on make-up. So I asked, how come I had to give up stuff and not her. She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me. I told her that was what the beer was for. I don't think she's coming back.Happy Anniversary:
'You think so much of golf that you don't even remember when we were married.' 'Of course I do, my dear, it was the day I sank that forty-foot putt.'Good Women Are Hard to Find
Nigel and Stephen, are keen fishermen and wine drinkers; here you can see a
photo taken while they are enjoying some night fishing while on holiday, with
their wives, in Poitou-Charente, France, last year.
Slurping a large Bordeaux Supérieur, Nigel announces, 'I think I'm going to divorce my wife, she hasn't
spoken to me in eighteen months.'
Stephen downs his glass of the red wine thoughtfully and after a while
responds, 'Think it over a bit more, Nige; women like that are hard to find.'
Actual Advertisement in The New York Post:
For Sale by owner: Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.Good Basis for Marriage?

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up.
'Oh, we'll never need that. My husband
and I have a great relationship, 'the wife explained.'
He was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts. He communicates really well and I just act like I'm listening.'
More Funny and Thought Provoking Relationships and Marriage Stories
Learn to Read the Signs
Geoff had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that for years he called his wife, Anita, "Mother of Six," in spite of her regular objections. One evening, in their retirement years, they go to a party. It is late and Geoff is ready to go home and wants to find out if Anita is ready to leave as well. Geoff bellows at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home, Mother of Six?' Anita, greatly irritated by Geoff's lack of discretion over so many years, yells back at him, 'Anytime you're ready, "Father of Four".'Suspicious Mind

Ten Short Relationship Jokes
- I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
- Love is grand... Divorce is 75 grand.
- Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. - Swedish Proverb
- Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade. - Leo Buscaglia
- Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. - Miles Franklin
- Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. 'Pooh!' he whispered. 'Yes, Piglet?' 'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. 'I just wanted to be sure of you.' - A.A. Milne
- You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. - Wayne W. Dyer
- Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you. - Anonymous
- Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak. - Epictetus
- A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Benefits of a Long Marriage
On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the dinner celebrating it, Byron was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. 'Tell us Byron, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?' Byron responds, 'Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single.'What Do You Do All Day?

Funny Men and Women Snippets
Did You Know?

(1) In a recent poll held in the USA, American men and women were asked if they would marry the same person if they had it to do all over again.
80% of the men responded that they
would marry the same woman.
Interestingly, only 50% of the women responded that they would marry the same man. Oh dear!
(2) Gamophobia is the fear of marriage.
(3) 'When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.'
- Warren Farrell (American Psychologist)


How Do Men and Women Decide Who to Marry?
You've got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. Martin, age 10. How would you make a marriage work? Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck. Nathan, age 10.The Natural Look
The other night, my wife and I were going out. She sat there and put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush and lipstick, then turned to me and enquired, 'Does this look natural?'Another Tranche of Marriage Stories and Relationship Jokes
Why men have two dogs and not two wives
- The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
- Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
- A dog's parents never visit you.
- Dogs like it if you leave things on the floor.
- Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
- Dogs like to do their snooping outside, rather than inside your wallet or desk.
- Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
- A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, 'If I died, would you get another dog?'
- If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
- If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
- Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
- Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
- If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff
Friends and Neighbours
Emma and Bryan were staying at 'The Red Lion' pub near Castleton in the Derbyshire Peak District for a few nights. In the bar, during the evening, they became friendly with the hotel's odd job man, Ian, and told him how much they had grown to love the area.
Marriage and Children: A Funny Story
...(vidFL2)
Lorna Irwin was striding down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the
opposite direction was Father O'Mara.
'Hello,' uttered the Father, 'and how is Mrs Irwin this fine day? Didn't I
marry you two years ago?'
Lorna replied, 'That you did Father.'
The priest inquired, 'And are there any little ones yet?'
'No, not yet Father,' murmured Lorna Irwin.
'Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you.'
'Thank you, Father.'
A few years later they met again.
'Well, now, Mrs Irwin," said Father O'Mara, 'and how are you?'
'Oh, very well,' responded Lorna.
'And tell me,' said the Reverend Father, 'have you any little ones yet?'
'Oh yes, Father O'Mara,' answered Lorna Irwin, 'I've had three sets of twins,
and four singles: ten in all.'
'Now isn't that wonderful,' rejoined Father O'Mara, 'And how is your lovely
husband?'
'Oh, Basil,' she replied, 'now he's gone to Rome. To blow out the damn candle!'
