Funny Halloween Pictures and Jokes

We Think it Says: Don't Drink and Fly

Funy Halloween Ghost

Funy Halloween Jokes

Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?' Cos everyone was a goblin Why did the vampire's lunch give him heartburn? It was a stake sandwich. What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer. What do skeletons always order at a restaurant? Spare ribs! Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body

Trip to ASDA

It was the end of October and I was waiting for my wife, Diane, at the checkout of the ASDA supermarket in Golders Green, London, England, I spotted that someone had left their broom at the till. When no one came to claim it, I went outside to search for a couple I remembered seeing at the cashier's desk. I spotted them getting into their car and shuffled over. Pardon me,' I said to the young woman, 'but did you by any chance leave your broom inside?' 'No,' she replied quickly and with a smile, 'we came by car.'

Funy Halloween Quotes

• Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoken to. Richard H. Barham
• At first cock-crow the ghosts must go Back to their quiet graves below.     Theodosia Garrison
• If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost. Lloyd Douglas
• If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day.  John A. Wheeler
• We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic. David Russell
• Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand Kurt Vonnegut

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