Easter Jokes

Here is our collection of amusing Easter one-liners, cartoons, and funny yarns.  While we chose them for children there are also Easter jokes that adults will appreciate.

Three Signs the Easter Bunny is Nuts

  1. What is the bunny trying to say when he is leaping about?  Hoppy Easter!
  2. Rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade aren’t called hot, cross bunnies for nothing.
  3. The Easter bunny’s colorful eggs are now filled with Prozac.

Funny, Clean, and Tasteful Jokes for Easter

Sunday School 1

Mrs Lewis, a Sunday school teacher asked her little children one Easter Sunday, as they were on the way to the church service, ‘And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?’

Rebecca, a bright little girl piped up, ‘Because people are sleeping?’

Sunday School 2

It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Bobby stayed home from church with a babysitter.  When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds. Bobby asked them what they were for.

‘People held them over Jesus’ head as he walked by,’ his father told him.

‘Wouldn’t you know it,’ Bobby fumed, ‘the one Sunday I don’t go and he shows up.’

The Lion and the Missionary

Lion licking womans head

A Christian missionary, Jemima, was walking in Africa on Easter Saturday when she heard the ominous padding of a lion behind her.

‘Oh Lord,’ prayed Jemima, the missionary, ‘Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion.’

And then, in the silence that followed, Jemima heard the lion praying too, ‘Oh Lord,’ he prayed, ‘I thank Thee for the food which I am about to receive this Easter time.’

How Different Religions Cope with Adversity

When the Methodist minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, ‘That was an experience, how do I learn from it?’

When the Catholic priest falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, ‘I must have done something really bad to deserve that.’

When the Presbyterian minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, ‘That was inevitable, I’m glad it’s over.’

When the Baptist minister falls down the stairs, he picks himself up and says, ‘Which one of my deacons pushed me?’

Angels at Easter

  • How do angels greet each other at Easter? They say, ‘Halo’.
  • Why did the angel lose her job? She had harp failure.

Classic Easter Joke for Kids

Divine Intervention?

One Easter afternoon Jasper, a little boy, was playing outdoors. He used his mother’s broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it was getting dark.

He left the broom on the back porch. His mother was cleaning up the kitchen when she realized that her broom was missing. She asked Jasper about the broom and he told her where it was.

She then asked him to please go get it.  Jasper informed his mother that he was afraid of the dark and didn’t want to go out to get the broom.

His mother smiled and said, ‘The Lord is out there too, don’t be afraid.’

Jasper then opened the back door a little and said, ‘Lord, since you’re out there, please pass me the broom.’

More Easter Jokes

Egg Laying Ceremony for Easter Sunday

  • Church notices:  This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Cusworth to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
  • This Monday we will be holding a ‘Bean Supper’ in the church hall.  Music will follow………………
  • What do you call a chocolate bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.

Story of the Miracle Easter Bunny

Jimmy came home on the last day of the Easter term, and to his horror, he found his German Shepherd, Rex, with his next-door neighbor’s bunny rabbit in its mouth. The rabbit was obviously dead.

Greatly upset, Jimmy panicked thinking, ‘If my neighbors find out that Rex killed their bunny, they’ll hate me forever.’ Jimmy quickly took the rather large bunny, and, placed it in a paper bag deposited in the local incinerator tip. On his way home, Jimmy looked into Pets ‘R Us and bought a rabbit which he gauged was just like the deceased. Back home, Jimmy took the ‘new’ rabbit and placed it in the open hutch in his neighbour’s garden.

Later that evening, Jimmy heard a knock on his front door, and opening it he found his next-door neighbors bearing the ‘new’ rabbit in their arms.

‘Look,’ squeaked his neighbor, ‘Yesterday Billy was dead and we buried him 4 feet down in the garden. Today we come home and find that not only is he alive and well but he has grown several more teeth but also he has shrunk. It’s a miracle.’

Story based on a true story about a mouse owned by Will’s wife when she was a child.

Religious Easter Jokes

Funny religious Easter jokes may seem like an oxymoron or even a blasphemy, but Will and Guy believe that you can combine Christianity with humor, after all, why should the devil have all the best tunes jokes?

Maria Told Her Mother Gladly

Maria came home from Sunday School on Palm Sunday and told her mother that she had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly.

It took her mother a while before she realized that the hymn Maria had been singing was really: “Gladly The Cross I’d Bear.”

Funny Church Notices for Easter

Church Messiah sign
  • Baptisms: After Easter, the North and South ends of the church will be utilized. Children will be baptized at both ends.
  • Bible Study: Richard, my friend’s little grandson came home from Sunday School and I asked him what they had studied. His reply was, ‘Nothing.’ So I asked him, ‘Didn’t you study Jesus?’ Richard’s reply was, ‘No, he wasn’t even there.’
  • Come work for the Lord.  The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low.  But the retirement benefits are out of this world.

Funny Easter Quotes

“My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.”  Amy Sedaris

“I’m a little hoarse tonight. I’ve been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.”  Fred Allen

“A strangely reflective, even melancholy day. Is that because, unlike our cousins in the northern hemisphere, Easter is not associated with the energy and vitality of spring but with the more subdued spirit of autumn.”  Hugh Mackay

“Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won’t stay there.”  Clarence W. Hall

Chocolate and Easter

“There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with CHOCOLATE.”  Linda Grayson, “The Pickwick Papers”

“All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!”  Lucy Van Pelt, “Peanuts”

Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter Sunday. Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs at Thanksgiving.

Rules of Chocolate Easter Eggs

  • If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.
  • Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
  • Diet tip: Eat an Easter egg before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite, and that way you’ll eat less.
  • If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?
  • If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
  • Money talks. Chocolate sings.
  • Chocolate has many preservatives.  Preservatives make you look younger.
  • The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate eggs home from the store in a hot car.
    The solution: Eat the eggs in the car park.
  • Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Because no one wants to quit.

General Easter Quotes

  • Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life.   S.D. Gordon
  • He who wants Lent to seem short should contract a debt to be repaid at Easter.  Italian Proverb
  • Easter tells us that life is to be interpreted not simply in terms of things but in terms of ideals.  Charles M. Crowe
  • Easter, so longed for, is gone in a day.  James Howell

Easter Bunny’s Funnies

dog with rabbit in mouth

Q: What do you call a bunny with a large brain?
A: An egghead.

Q: Why did the Easter egg hide?
A: He was a little chicken!

Q: What do you call ten rabbits marching backward?
A: A receding hare line.

Q: Why did the magician have to cancel his show?
A: He’d just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.

Q: What do you call a duck who plays basketball?
A: A slam duck.

Q. What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket?
A. Two points, just like anyone else on the team.

Q. What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
A. The Ether Bunny

Q: What’s the difference between a bunny and a lumberjack?
A: One chews and hops, the other hews and chops.

Q: What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
A: It’s been nice gnawing at you.

Q: Why did the rabbit cross the road?
A: Because it was the chicken’s day off.

Five Reasons to Celebrate Easter

  1. You decide that any Holiday which starts with a “Good Friday” can’t be all bad.
  2. You look really, really good in yellow.
  3. You love to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies.
  4. You have this bunny suit you love to wear but are too insecure to wear it without a reason.
  5. You absolutely love the movie, “The Ten Commandments”.

Memorable Easter Egg Hunt Story

Emma and Tony thought they would give their toddlers a special Easter egg hunt.  Firstly, Emma hit upon the idea of sprinkling talc on the wooden floor, then using the bunny footprints, they created a trail in the talcum powder.

In the lounge, Tony not only placed carrots at strategic points but also gnawed them to look like the rabbits had been there.  One neat touch was to leave a spilled saucer of milk in the kitchen.

This Easter bunny scene was so realistic that on Easter Sunday morning their children Ken and Lizzy rushed into our bedroom, screaming: ‘The Easter bunny has been’.

Over the years the story has been relived and embellished, 20 years on I am not sure who is the more embarrassed the parents, or the now grown-up children.

Good Friday Jokes

Will and Guy have come to the conclusion that Good Friday is one of the few topics about which there are hardly any funny and clean jokes.

However, once you think about it, it’s compulsive to research the reason behind the name Good Friday.

Surprise Bank Closure

One day just before Easter Eddie pulled into the supermarket car park. His wife Brenda had picked up a few things and was waiting for him.

“Hi, honey,” Eddie cheerfully said as Brenda got into the car. “How was your day?

“I can’t believe it,” Brenda said. “It looks like our bank is in trouble.”

“What?” Eddie asked.

“It’s closing at the end of the week,” Brenda replied.

That can’t be right,” Eddie said. “It’s a national bank!”

“Well it’s true,” Brenda came back. “I have seen the sign in the window.”

“What sign?” Eddie asked.

“Drive passed the bank and you’ll see,” Brenda replied. Eddie headed in the direction of the bank.

“Right there,” Brenda said as they drove by the bank. “See the sign? It says, ‘We Will Be Closed for Good Friday!’ “

Another Good Friday Joke

Roger left for the service at 10:45 on Good Friday morning. However, instead of going to church, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spent his entire pay packet.

Finally, Roger appeared at home on Sunday night, and obviously, he was confronted by his angry wife,  Martha who castigated Roger for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.  Finally, Martha stopped the nagging and said to Roger, ‘How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?’

Roger replied grimly, ‘That would be fine with me.’

Monday went by and he didn’t see his Martha. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

By Thursday, the swelling had gone down just enough so that Roger could see Martha a little out of the corner of his left eye.

  • Which day of the year do chickens hate the most? Good Fry-day!

The Funny Story of the Taxi Driver and St Peter

One Good Friday a priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven.  St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

‘Come with me,’ said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St Peter to a mansion. It had everything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic-sized pool.

‘Oh my word, thank you,’ said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rough old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

‘Wait, I think you are a little mixed up,’ said the priest. ‘Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all, I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.’

‘Yes, that’s true.’ St Peter rejoined, ‘ But during your sermons, people slept.  When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.’

Funny Easter Bunny Jokes

Warning.  We found that these Easter bunny jokes are a classic example of one-liners being funny provided you are in the right mood.  If Easter is just around the corner then these jokes raise a smile.  At other times of the year … just enjoy the pictures.

Easter Bunny One-liners

  • A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rabbits.
  • What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
  • What did Bugs Bunny say to the carrot? It’s been nice gnawing you.
  • How do you post a bunny? Hare mail.
  • What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A hare-net.
  • Why are people always tired in April? Because they’ve just finished a 31-day March.
  • Why did the rabbit cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off.
  • How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket? One. After that, the basket won’t be empty.
  • Why did the rabbit cross the road Because the chicken had his Easter eggs.
  • Mandy Mole: What’s the difference between the Easter rabbit and a mattababy? Rikki: What’s a mattababy? Mandy Mole: Nothing. What’s the matter with you?

More Easter Bunny Jokes

Easter Airport Bunnies Head for Cote d’Azur

easter airport cartoon

Aeroports de Paris, the company that runs the French capital’s airports announced recently that it would remove troublesome bunnies from Orly Airport and gently transfer them to a new life in the sun-kissed south of France.

‘The rabbit is reputed to be a cute and harmless animal but it is also a redoubtable rodent,’ Aeroports de Paris said in a press release outlining its scheme. ‘If the rabbit population grows too much, the animals can gnaw through cables and their tunneling can undermine the edges of runways, taxiways, and landing beacons.’

Game wardens armed with ferrets and nets will fan out across the 850 hectares (2,125 acres) of grass and green spaces at Orly with the goal of capturing 150 rabbits and sending them to a new life in the sun.

Aeroports de Paris said its annual live cull, ‘conducted with scrupulous regard for the environment,’ has kept the airport’s rabbit population at some 2,000 animals, compared with 10,000 in 1999.

Happy Easter to all the bunnies sent to southern France say Will and Guy.

Prayer for Easter

Easter bunnies

Young Ernie and his family were invited to have Easter lunch at his grandmother’s house in Monkey’s Eyebrow, Arizona, USA. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Ernie received his plate he started eating straight away.

‘Ernie, wait until we say grace,’ demanded his father.

‘I don’t have to,’ the five-year-old replied.

‘Of course you do, Ernest,’ his mother insisted rather forcefully. ‘We always say a prayer before eating at our house.’

‘That’s at our house,’ Ernie explained, ‘but this is Grandma’s house, and she knows how to cook.’

A Poem For Easter – The Easter Bunny

There’s a story quite funny,
About a toy bunny,
And the wonderful
things she can do;
Every bright Easter morning,
Without warning,
She colors eggs, red, green, or blue.

Some she covers with spots,
Some with quaint little dots,
And some with strange mixed colors, too
– Red and green, blue and yellow,
But each unlike his fellow
Are eggs of every hue.

And it’s odd, as folks say,
That on no other day
In all of the whole year through,
Does this wonderful bunny,
So busy and funny,
Color eggs of every hue.

If this story you doubt
She will soon find you out,
And what do you
think she will do?
On the next Easter morning
She’ll bring you without warning,
Those eggs of every hue.

Author – M. Josephine Todd

Funny Easter Bunny Story

A man was driving along the highway when saw the Easter rabbit hopping across the middle of the road.  He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately, the Easter bunny jumped in front of the car and was struck by his car.

The basket of eggs and candy, the rabbit was carrying, went flying all over the place. The driver, being a sensitive man, as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the rabbit carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful, that he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. ‘I feel terrible’, he explained, ‘I accidentally hit the Easter rabbit and killed it. Children will be so disappointed. What should I do?’

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the dead, limp rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the furry animal. Miraculously the Easter rabbit came to life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans, and hopped down the road. 50 meters away the Easter rabbit stopped turned around, waved, and hopped down the road. 50 meters further on, he turned again, waved, and hopped another 50 meters, again he waved.

The man was astonished. He couldn’t figure out what substance could be in the woman’s spray can. He ran over to the woman and asked, ‘What is in your spray can? What did you spray on the Easter rabbit?’

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: ‘Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave.’

Fluffy and Cedric – Bunny Story With a Moral

Fluffy, the orphan bunny, and Cedric the orphan snake lived in the forest; they were, by an amazing coincidence, both blind from birth.

One morning, bright and early Fluffy was hopping through the forest when he tripped over the body of Cedric who was basking in the sunlit undergrowth. Fluffy landed quite hard on the prostrate body of Cedric.

‘Crikey,’ exclaimed Fluffy the bunny, ‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to squash you. I’ve been blind since birth, so, I can’t see where I’m going. In fact, since I’m also an orphan, I don’t even know what creature I am.’

‘That’s OK, mate,’ commented Cedric the snake. ‘Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you and work out what you are, so at least you’ll be able to find that out.’

‘What a marvelous idea,’ replied Fluffy the bunny.

So Cedric slithered all over Fluffy and said, ‘Well, you’re covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches and you have a soft cottony tail. I’d say that you must be a bunny rabbit.’

‘Oh, thank you, thank you,’ cried Fluffy with tremendous pleasure. Then Fluffy the bunny suggested to the snake, ‘Perhaps I could be allowed to feel you all over with my paw and help you the same way that you’ve helped me.’

So Fluffy the bunny felt Cedric the snake all over and summarised, ‘Well, you’re smooth and slippery, you have a forked tongue and no backbone.  I’d say you must be either a team leader or possibly someone in senior management.’

A Fairy Story for Easter

Once upon a time, there was a good old woman who lived in a little house. She had in her garden a bed of beautiful striped tulips.

One night she was awakened by the sounds of sweet singing and of babies laughing. She looked out at the window. The sounds seemed to come from the tulip bed, but she could see nothing.

The next morning she walked among her flowers, but there were no signs of anyone having been there the night before.

On the following night, she was again wakened by sweet singing and babies laughing. She rose and stole softly through her garden. The moon was shining brightly on the tulip bed, and the flowers were swaying to and fro. The old woman looked closely and she saw, standing by each tulip, a little Fairy mother who was crooning and rocking the flower like a cradle, while in each tulip cup lay a little Fairy baby laughing and playing.

The good old woman stole quietly back to her house, and from that time on she never picked a tulip, nor did she allow her neighbors to touch the flowers.

The tulips grew daily brighter in color and larger in size, and they gave out a delicious perfume like that of roses. They began, too, to bloom all the year round. And every night the little Fairy mothers caressed their babies and rocked them to sleep in the flower-cups.

The day came when the good old woman died, and the tulip bed was torn up by folks who did not know about the Fairies, and parsley was planted there instead of the flowers. But the parsley withered, and so did all the other plants in the garden, and from that time nothing would grow there.

But the good old woman’s grave grew beautiful, for the Fairies sang above it, and kept it green; while on the grave and all around it there sprang up tulips, daffodils, violets, and other lovely flowers of spring.

Author Unknown

That Rabbit Race

A rabbit raced a turtle –
I’m sure you know who won.
Mr Rabbit came in late –
A little hot cross bun!

Easter Bunny Has a Near Death Experience

Rabbit and Eagle

An eagle and rabbit have become the best of friends. Here is an unlikely Easter Bunny story from Zhengzhou City, China. It was feeding time for the eagle so the owner put the Easter bunny in the big bird’s cage. Amazingly, instead of following its predatory nature, the eagle befriended the rabbit. Can you put yourself in the grateful bunnies’ socks? I had a near-death experience, now I am a pampered star.

The owner said, ‘The rabbit very humbly combs the eagle’s feathers with its mouth. The eagle is four months old, and I threw him the rabbit for food, but apparently, he doesn’t know how to enjoy his meals.’

Easter Bunny Apprehended

Easter Bunny and Police

Statue Arrested in Germany

Will and Guy have noticed that Police have arrested a large Easter Bunny statue in Duisburg, Germany after homeowners reported a ‘stalker’ staring into their window.

The couple contacted authorities after seeing a figure with a “striking” face about 1.8 meters (6ft) tall peering in, to their house. They then described to police that the offender was wearing a yellow shirt, blue check trousers, and a green backpack.

When the police arrived on the scene to apprehend the stalker, they were faced with a 6-foot statue of the Easter Bunny.

One officer told us, ‘We took him into custody but he hasn’t said much yet.’

The police believe the bunny was placed outside the couple’s home as a practical joke, and will keep the bunny detained until his owners come and collect him.

Bunny Becomes Mum to Kittens

Six kittens abandoned by their mum have found an unlikely replacement – a pet rabbit. The tiny kittens were left all alone after their mum decided she couldn’t be bothered feeding them. They were taken in by a veterinary nurse Melanie Humble, who thought her own cat would mother them, but instead, they’re being cared for by her rabbit, ‘Summer’.

Now, they’ve fallen in love with their surrogate mum and refuse to leave her alone. Melanie, 29, from Aberdeen, Scotland said, ‘It’s amazing to see, for some reason they just took to the rabbit instantly and thought she was their mum. They started climbing all over her and were looking to get milk from her. She just sat there and let them do it. Now they follow her everywhere. They can’t bear to be without her. They’re all so lovely together.’

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