Cinco de Mayo Jokes

What Cinco de Mayo – Jokes Funny Stories Trivia for May 5th Celebration.

Happy Cinco De Mayo

Throughout Mexico and the United States Mexicans celebrate Cinco de Mayo with pride and fervour.  Will and Guy celebrate with humorous snippets.

Silly, But Funny Jokes For Cinco de Mayo

  • What were the names of the two Mexican firefighting brothers?  Hose [José] A and Hose B.
  • Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?  Because every Mexican that can run, jump, and swim is already across the border in the USA.
  • Did you hear about the Mexican who threw his wife over a cliff? When the police officer asked him why he’d done it he said, ‘Tequila! Tequila!’
  • What kind of cans are there in Mexico?  Mexicans.
  • After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. For the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye: Chi Chi Rodriguez

The Mystery Golf Gun

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. ‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective.

‘With a golf gun,’ the other detective replied.

‘A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?’ ‘I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan.’

Funny Cinco de Mayo Stories

The Inexperienced Chili Taster Visits Mexico

Notes from an Inexperienced Chili Tester called Dan, who was visiting Mexico from Texas. This is how Dan reported his experience:

‘Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off on Cinco de Mayo.  The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. The other two judges (Native Mexicans) assured me that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted.’

Here are the scorecards for the 8 Chili’s that were submitted for judging by Jose, Carlos, Fred, Bubba, Linda, Vera, Ana, and Lester.

Chili # 1 Jose’s Mild Chili

JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

FRANK: Crikey, what the hell is this stuff?  You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out.  I hope that’s the worst one. These Mexicans are crazy.  The chili taster story continues…

Chili # 2 Carlos’s Afterburner Chili

JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork.  Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of the reach of children I’m not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. The chili taster story continues …

A Little History for Those Who May Not Know…

Most people don’t know that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England.  In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico…. But as we know….the great ship did not make it to New York…The ship hit an iceberg and sank …. and the cargo was forever lost…

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery …. were disconsolate at the loss…

Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning which they still observe to this day…. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th…. and is known….of course….as Sinko de Mayo…

Ice Cream Parlour

Manuel Oliveira owned an ice cream shop in Mérida, Venezuela; and he reported that he sold 567 flavors, including onion, chili, beer, eggplant [aubergine], smoked trout, spaghetti and parmesan, chicken with rice, and spinach.  He said some flavors fail; he once abandoned avocado ice cream and tossed out 99 pounds of it, because it wasn’t smooth enough.

Cinco de Mayo Trivia and Interesting Facts about Mexico

  • The Mexican community celebrates more than 365 festivals each year.  Cinco de Mayo is just one of them.
  • Although Cinco de Mayo is a big celebration in Puebla, where the battle was fought, Cinco de Mayo is much more popular in America.
  • The festival was ‘invented’ in America by a group of students back in 1967.  Each year since then Cinco de Mayo gets bigger thanks to people of Mexican descent – and those who just like a good margarita!
  • Did you know Mexico is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
  • Around 28.3 million USA residents were of Mexican origin in 2006. These residents constituted 9% of the nation’s total population and 64% of the Hispanic population.
  • Approximately 630,000 Mexican-Americans are US military veterans.
  • The Maya in Central Mexico were the first people known to harvest and use peanuts.
  • Pineapple and papayas grew wild in Mexico and were introduced to the rest of the world by Spanish explorers.
  • Around the 1860s, three American travelers began exporting resin from the Zapote Blanco tree in Mexico after they noticed that it hardened when exposed to air. The men found a way to turn it into a waxy substance, added flavors and sweeteners, and sold it in small balls for a penny apiece, calling it Adam’s Chewing Gum from New York. Today, Americans chew seven times more gum than the rest of the world.
  • Guadalajara, Mexico’s second-largest city, is where the Mexican Hat Dance, sombreros, and mariachi music are believed to have originated.
  • The vanilla bean comes from an orchid plant discovered by Mexican Indians who used it to add flavor to their cocoa and corn drinks. The world’s largest crop of vanilla beans still comes from Mexico.

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