Jokes Canada Day July 1st

• Canadian Jokes
• Interesting Facts About
  Canada
• Thanksgiving Day in Canada

Five Short Jokes for Canada
Day

1) Canadian Habits

There are two seasons in Canada – winter and July.  Hence the
celebrations on July 1st.

In Canada, the local paper covers national and international headlines on
two pages, but requires five pages for ice hockey.

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold
fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain. – Pierre
Trudeau [former Prime Minister of Canada]

2) Canadian on Fire
Ronnie, a Canadian, came home
and found his house on fire; he rushed next door, telephoned the fire
department and shouted, ‘Hurry over here… My house is on fire.’

‘OK,’ replied the fireman, ‘how do we get there?’

What? Don’t you still have those big red trucks?’

3) On the Canadian Border
Maisie, an elderly woman
lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota
border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the
United States and Canada for years. The widowed woman lived on the farm with
her son and three grandchildren.

One day, Albert, her son came into her room holding a letter. ‘I just got
some news, Mom,’ he said, ‘the government has come to an agreement with the
people in North Dakota. They’ve decided that our land is really part of the
United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement.
What do you think?’

‘What do I think?’ sighed Maisie, ‘sign it. Call them right now and tell
them we accept. I don’t think I can stand another Canadian winter.’

4) Clever Canadian
Jacques Larouche, a Canadian calls
the *RCMP, ‘Hello is the RCMP? I’m calling about my neighbour, Étienne
Dubois. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood.’

The next day the RCMP descends on Étienne’s house and search the shed
where the firewood is kept. They break open every piece of firewood, but
find no marijuana. They apologise to Étienne and leave.

Now the phone rings at Étienne’s.

‘Hey Étienne, did the RCMP come to your house?’

‘Yep.’

‘Did they chop all your firewood?’

‘Yep.’

*The Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) [French: Gendarmerie Royaleedu
Canada (GRC], literally “Royal Gendarmerie of Canada”, colloquially known as
The Mounties.du
Canada (GRC], literally “Royal Gendarmerie of Canada”, colloquially known as
The Mounties.

5) Stereotypical Canadian
A Canadian is someone who
drinks Brazilian coffee from an English teacup and munches a French pastry
while sitting on their Danish furniture having just come home from an
Italian movie in their German car.

Then picks up their Japanese pen and writes to their Member of Parliament
to complain about the American take-over of the Canadian publishing
business.

Interesting Facts About Canada

• Canada is the 2nd second
  largest country in the world by land mass.  (Russia is number 1,
  and China number 3.
• Canadians claim that their capital Ottawa, has the coldest average temperature of any
  capital city in the world.  Muscovites beg to differ.
• Montreal Hosted the 1976 Olympics.  Some say they are still
  paying for it!
• Ottawa is the Capital and not Montreal. Incidentally, it has the
  coldest average temperature of any capital in the world.
• While the Capital is in Ontario, Canada has 9 other provinces and
  also 3 territories.
• There are more than 100 national parks and historic sites in Canada.
• A bear killed in Canada’s far north last was the first
  Grizzly-Polar bear
  cross ever discovered in the wild.
• Mount Logan in the Yukon is Canada’s
  tallest mountain at 6,050 metres.
• The longest river is the Mackenzie River flowing 4,240 km through the
  North West Territory.

Thanksgiving Day in Canada

Unlike the USA, Thanksgiving Day in Canada is on the second Monday in October in Canada.

Halloween in Canada

• In Canada you design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
• Canadians wait for a blizzard to whip up before going ‘Trick or treating’.
• They use the trunk of their cars as a deep freeze.

Christmas in Canada:

Santa Claus has his own personal Canadian zip code; it is: H0H 0H0. (Ho-Ho-Ho) In this way people who write to
Santa know that their letter will arrive safely.  Ho-Ho-Ho has been
Santa’s
code since 1982.  A team of linguists ensure that each
letter is answered in the same language in which it is
written, which, on its own must be a mammoth task.

Groundhog Day In Canada (February 2nd)

•  Canada has its version of Groundhog day starring ‘Wee Willie Wiarton’.
• There is also the Prairie
  Prognosticator, of Balzac, Alberta.
• In Nova Scotial they have Shubenacadie Sam.

Footnote:
Please send us your funny Canadian Day jokes.