Jacques Larouche, a Canadian calls the *RCMP, 'Hello is the RCMP? I'm calling about my neighbour, Étienne Dubois. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood.' The next day the RCMP descends on Étienne's house and search the shed where the firewood is kept. They break open every piece of firewood, but find no marijuana. They apologise to Étienne and leave. Now the phone rings at Étienne's. 'Hey Étienne, did the RCMP come to your house?' 'Yep.' 'Did they chop all your firewood?' 'Yep.' *The Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) [French: Gendarmerie Royaleedu Canada (GRC], literally "Royal Gendarmerie of Canada", colloquially known as The Mounties.du Canada (GRC], literally "Royal Gendarmerie of Canada", colloquially known as The Mounties. 5) Stereotypical Canadian A Canadian is someone who drinks Brazilian coffee from an English teacup and munches a French pastry while sitting on their Danish furniture having just come home from an Italian movie in their German car. Then picks up their Japanese pen and writes to their Member of Parliament to complain about the American take-over of the Canadian publishing business.
- Canada is the 2nd second largest country in the world by land mass. (Russia is number 1, and China number 3.
- Canadians claim that their capital Ottawa, has the coldest average temperature of any capital city in the world. Muscovites beg to differ.
- Montreal Hosted the 1976 Olympics. Some say they are still paying for it!
- Ottawa is the Capital and not Montreal. Incidentally, it has the coldest average temperature of any capital in the world.
- While the Capital is in Ontario, Canada has 9 other provinces and also 3 territories.
- There are more than 100 national parks and historic sites in Canada.
- A bear killed in Canada's far north last was the first Grizzly-Polar bear cross ever discovered in the wild.
- Mount Logan in the Yukon is Canada's tallest mountain at 6,050 metres.
- The longest river is the Mackenzie River flowing 4,240 km through the North West Territory.
Halloween in Canada
- In Canada you design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Canadians wait for a blizzard to whip up before going 'Trick or treating'.
- They use the trunk of their cars as a deep freeze.
Groundhog Day In Canada (February 2nd)
- Canada has its version of Groundhog day starring 'Wee Willie Wiarton'.
- There is also the Prairie Prognosticator, of Balzac, Alberta.
- In Nova Scotial they have Shubenacadie Sam.