Funny Goat Pictures and Jokes

Will and Guy's collection of amusing goat stories.

• Old Goat Story
• Goats Put Out To Grass
• Goat Joke
• Chinese Year of the Goat

Old Goat Story

Phil and Andy are out hiking through the woods when they notice a big, deep hole near the track. "That looks deep," observes Phil. "Let's toss some pebbles in to see how deep it really is." So they gather up some pebbles, toss them in and wait ... ... ... no noise. "Wow! It must be really deep," says Andy. "Let's try some bigger rocks and see what happens." They find a couple of rocks, the size of basket balls, throw them in and wait ... ... ... still no noise. Looking around them, Phil notices an old railway sleeper in amongst the undergrowth. "Let's throw that down the hole," he suggests. "It's so big and heavy it's bound to make a noise." With great difficulty they manoeuvre the sleeper to the edge of the hole and heave it in. They're still listening when there's an almighty crashing noise behind them. They turn and see a goat racing out of the undergrowth as fast as its legs will carry it. It rushes past them, leaps into the air and straight down the hole. They are amazed. A moment later an old farmer comes ambling out of the woods and enquires, "Have you seen my goat?" "Yes," reply the two friends. "It was the craziest thing we ever saw. It came running out of the woods like a mad thing and jumped straight down that hole." "Oh no," says the farmer. "That can't have been my goat. My goat was chained to a railway sleeper!"

Rocky Goat

Beware! The original witch of Wookey Hole was an old woman who lived in the caves with only a goat for company!

Goats Put Out To Grass

A group of Texas tourists were on a bus tour of France when they came upon the town of Sancerre in the Loire Valley. They eventually stopped at the little village of Chavignol and visited a cheese farm where the world famous 'Crottin de Chavignol' goat's cheese is made; their guide, who was the farmer's wife, led them through a process of cheese making, explaining how goat's milk was used. Madame showed the group a picturesque hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced.  Madame then asked, turning to the group, 'What do you do in Texas with your old goats that aren't producing?' One spry and very quick elderly gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours.'

Goat Joke

In Warsaw, Poland, Solly visits his rabbi and complains, 'Life is unbearable. There are nine of us living in one room. What can I do?' The rabbi answers, 'Take your goat into the room with you.' Solly is incredulous, 'What?' but the rabbi insists, 'Do as I say and come back in a week.' A week later Solly comes back looking even more distraught than before, 'We cannot stand it,' Solly explains to the rabbi, 'the goat is filthy.' The rabbi then tells Solly, 'Go home and let the goat out. Come back in a week.' Solly, now radiant, returns to the rabbi a week later, exclaiming, 'Life is beautiful. We enjoy every minute of it now that there's no goat; only the nine of us.'

Goat and Triangle

Incidentally, the collective noun for goats is tribe.

Chinese Year of the Goat

Goats are the centre of any group, they are also compassionate and helpful. Their sincerity can be taken advantage of and Wood Goat may get their feelings hurt by undeserving sympathy seekers. Sometimes, Wood Goat need to suppress their caring ways and take care of themselves. You May Find Goats in These Occupations: Designers, florists, hairdressers, actors and teachers. People Born in the Year of the Goat Michelangelo, King George VI, Mark Twain, Orville Wright and Rudolph Valentino.

See more about the year of the Goat.

Footnote: Please send us your funny goat pictures.