Here is Will and Guy's collection of jokes, funny stories and videos on the subject of ducks and chickens.
- Duck Story
- Funny Duck Pictures
- Dead Duck Joke
- Ducks Banned
- Indian Runner Ducks Video
- 10 Interesting Facts About Ducks
- 7 Meanings of Duck in English
- Goose Story
- Chicken Jokes
- Chickens Block Road
Mother Duck's Pride
Good Duck JokeBilly, the travelling circus owner, walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. Billy was so impressed that he offered immediately to buy the duck from its owner. After some negotiations, they settled on a figure of $20,000 for the duck and the pot. Four days later the circus owner, Billy, runs back to the bar in anger and shouts, 'Your duck is a rip off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step.' 'So?' asked the ducks former owner calmly, 'did you remember to light the candle under the pot?'
Funny Duck HumourA duck goes into a bar and says, 'I would like a drink. I am old enough.' The bartender replies, 'You need to be able to prove who you are.' The duck pulls out a mirror. He looks in it, nods his head, and says, 'Yep, that's me.'
Duck or Chicken?Alice and Emile went for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and they order the 'Chicken Surprise.' The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as Alice is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. n. 'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband, Emile. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. Emile reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation. 'Please sir,' stammers the waiter, 'what you order?' Emile replies, 'Chicken Surprise.' 'Ah! So sorry, is mistake' says the attendant, 'I bring you Peeking Duck!'
Indian Runner Ducks
- Male ducks are called drakes, female ducks are called hens, while their hatchlings are called ducklings.
- Ducks have three eyelids.
- Contrary to some beliefs, when ducks quack they do have an echo, often too quiet to be heard.
- Some ducks are able to fly about 332 miles a day.
- A duck can live for between 2-12 years, depending on the species.
- Ducks have webbed feet, which act like paddles.
- Geese and swans are related to the duck.
- Ducks never have cold feet since they do not have nerves or blood vessels in their feet.
- Ducks line their nests with feathers they pluck from their chest
- A ducks feathers are waterproof.
Duck Places and Landmarks
- Duck, is a town in Dare County, North Carolina, USA
- Duck Creek is a township in Madison County Indiana, USA.
- Duck Creek is a township in Adams County North Dakota, USA.
- Duck Creek is a township in Stoddard County Missouri, USA .
- Duck Creek is a township in Wilson County Kansas, USA.
- Duck Creek is in Ohio, USA.
- Duck Creek, can be found in Utah, USA.
- A duck is a short legged water bird with webbed feet. Any of a variety of species of wild or domestic web-footed birds. Broilers and fryers are under 8 weeks; roasters are no more than 16 weeks old. Duck is generally higher in fat than other domestic birds.
- A closely woven, plain-weave cloth, usually made from cotton or linen yarns, similar to canvas. The terms canvas and duck have become almost generic and are usually qualified by terms that indicate the use of the cloth - e.g. in the Royal Navy, UK.
- Duck: A pet, a darling, colloquial name in northern England - "love". [Shakespeare]
- Duck: To go under the surface of water and immediately reappear; to dive; to plunge the head in water or other liquid.
- To move the head or body quickly downwards or away; 'Before he could duck, another stone struck him.'
- In the game cricket = a score of nothing by a batsman. Other ducks in cricket are: - Golden Duck: When a player is dismissed for the first ball he faced, it is called a Golden Duck. - Diamond Duck: When a player is dismissed without facing a ball (usually run out) is called a Diamond Duck - Pair: When a player is dismissed for nought in both innings of the same two-innings match is called a Pair. - King Pair: If a player is dismissed first ball in both innings is called a King Pair.
- Lame duck = A person or thing that isn't properly able to function, especially one that was previously proficient.
Plates of meat
Loaf of bread
North and south
North and south