'I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.'
'Women are cursed, and men are the proof.'
'Women with pasts interest men... they hope history will repeat itself.'
'Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't
wasted a whole day.'
'My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't
want him to.'
'The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be
'I married the first
man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up.'
'Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't
like and give her a house.'
Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly
attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.
One-liners For Valentine's Day
If you are in love, and wish to
send you own Valentine's Day quotes, either use
these or else modify them for your own true love.
The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.
All you need is love.
Love sought is good, but giv'n unsought is better.
Shakespeare in Twelfth Night (Act III, Scene I)
One makes mistakes; that is life. But it is never a mistake to have loved.
Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
Thomas Robert Dewar
A heart that loves is always young.
But I have seen thee
And thou art enough.
Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me.
Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Winnie the Pooh
See more loving
Ten Valentine Quotes
There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, falling in
love with you was beyond my control.
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
The heart has its reasons that reason does not know.
The risk it takes to remain tight inside the bud is more painful
than the risk it takes to blossom.
You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.
Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an
Greater Love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in
It's not that I can't live without you...it's just that I don't even
want to try.
See more funny quotes.
Extra Valentine Quotes and Romantic One-liners
better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.'
Alfred, Lord Tennyson
True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.
Love, you know, seeks to make happy rather than to be happy.
True friendship is like sound health; the value of
it is seldom known until it be lost.
Charles Caleb Colton
We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.
Hold a true friend with both your hands.
father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
Everyone hears what you
say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.
If you walk in front of
me, I may not follow.
If you walk behind me, I may not lead.
If you walk beside me, I will be your friend.
More Good Advice -
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we
Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist
A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; A woman
loses hers after four kisses.
A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know. Mistinguette
Don't wait for the one you can live with, wait for the one you
can't live without.
Love is like a river, always changing, but always finding you
again somewhere down the road.
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word
Another Tranche of Lovely
Valentine's Day Quotes
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonnette
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If
my wife finds out, she'll kill me. Henny Youngman
It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of
laundry a week. Laurence J. Peter
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Anonymous
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? Lily Tomlin
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and
discovering that she looks like a haddock. John Barrymore
Absence: that common cure of love. Miguel De Cervantes
If you have any funny Valentine
quotes, or romantic one-liners then please send them to Will and Guy.
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