Here is our collection of items about people who are late; also amusing stories involving delays.
Waiting CallMy son, Gareth, an insurance broker in Florida, loves ocean fishing and takes his cell phone along on the boat. One morning we were drifting about ten miles offshore as Gareth discussed business on the phone. Suddenly his rod bent double, and the reel screamed as line poured off the spool. Gareth was master of the situation. "Pardon me," he told his customer calmly. "I have a call on another line."
An Unexpected DelayMullah Nasruddin had saved up to buy a new shirt. He went to a tailor's shop, full of excitement. The tailor measured him and said, "Come back in a week, and - if Allah wills - your shirt will be ready." The Mullah contained himself for a week and then went back to the shop. "There has been a delay. But - if Allah wills - your shirt will be ready tomorrow." The following day Nasruddin returned. "I am sorry," said the tailor, "but it is not quite finished. Try tomorrow, and - if Allah wills - it will be ready." "How long will it take," asked the exasperated Nasruddin, "if you leave Allah out of it?"
Timekeeping - Does it Matter?Steve Cleary was in his early 50's, retired and had started a second career. However, he just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. However, he was a good worker, really clever, so the owner was in a quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, one day he called Steve into the office for a talk. 'Steven, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a top class job, but you're being late so often is quite a worry.' 'Yes, I realise that, sir, and I am working on it.' replied Steve. 'I'm pleased to hear that, you are a team player. It's odd though, you're coming in late. I know you're retired from the Royal Navy. What did they say if you came in late there?' 'They said, "Good morning, Admiral." '
Jim Dunbar, of Forfar, Scotland, Lateness SuffererJim has been late for everything - late for work, late for football matches, late for holidays. He's left women stood waiting on a first date, turned up to meals with friends hours after he should have and even arrived for funerals long after they've begun. But now his poor timekeeping has been diagnosed as a medical condition - Chronic Lateness Syndrome. His family still don't believe him. They think he's just making excuses. But Jim says that knowing it's a real condition and that it's not his fault has really helped him.
See some funny syndromes »Footnote: Please send us your funny lateness examples.