Hilarious Sayings

You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Will
Rogers

• Hilarious Sayings
• Mirthful Quotes
• More Hilarious Sayings
• Hilarious One-liners

Hilarious Sayings

In this collection we have a variety of sayings that we found funny.
Behind the words each had a thought provoking
message.

• On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
• I don’t have a solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
  – Ashleigh Brilliant
• Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
  – Jerome K. Jerome
• Pay no attention to what the critics say; no statue has ever been
  erected to a critic. – Jean Sibelius
• Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don’t have film.
• Is life worth living?  It all depends on the liver. – William
  James
• If you dig a hole for someone else, you’ll fall into it. – Hungarian
  proverb
• See more funny
  quotes.

Mirthful Quotes

Most of these amusing sayings can be attributed to their author, while
others remain anonymous.

• I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it. – Groucho Marx
• Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died.
• You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
  They left a little note on the windscreen, it said “Parking Fine”. –
  Tommy Cooper.
• Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.  This describes
  everything you are not.
• When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you
  can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
• The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the
  same good things for the first time.  – Friedrich Nietzsche
• When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers. – Oscar
  Wilde
• When he opens his mouth, it
  seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in
  there.

More Hilarious Sayings

• Wife who put husband in doghouse, soon find him in cat
  house.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder – Anon
• It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and
  less able man.  – Scott Elledge
• I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
  great pleasure – Clarence Darrow
• I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. –
  Jerome K. Jerome
• Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing
  without worrying about getting caught at it – Gene Perret
• An angel leaves no forwarding address, they ask nothing in return.

Funny Valentine’s Day Sayings

• ‘When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain’. Mark
  Twain
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  A
  successful woman is one who can find such a man.
• My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man.
  I
  told her to rub her eyes. Emo Philips
• See more
  Valentine sayings.

Footnote:
Please send us your clean hilarious sayings and
mirthful quotes.