Indian Humour | Jokes, stories pictures

• Funny True Stories
  from India
• Inglish Jokes
• Inglish Pictures
• Sardar Jokes
• Santa Banta
  Jokes
• Diwali Jokes

One of the Funniest Indian Jokes

A Japanese tourist hailed a taxi in downtown Delhi and asked to be
taken to the Indira Gandhi airport.

On the way, a car zoomed by and the tourist responded, ‘Oh! Toyota –
Made in Japan! Very fast!’

Not too long afterward, another car flew by the taxi. ‘Oh! Nissan –
Made in Japan! Very fast!’  Then yet another car zipped by, and the
tourist said, ‘Oh! Mitsubishi – Made in Japan! Very fast!’

The taxi driver, who was 100% Indian, was starting to get a little
annoyed that the Japanese made cars were passing his taxi, when yet
another car passed the taxi as they were turning into the airport. ‘Oh!
Honda – Made in Japan! Very fast!’

The taxi driver stopped the car, pointed to the meter, and said,
‘That’ll be Rupees 500.’
‘Rupees 500? It was short ride! Why so much?’

The Taxi driver smiled as he replied, ‘Meter – Made in India. Very
fast.’

Advice from Delhi

A herder feeds a buffalo its own milk before milking it on the outskirts
of Amritsar, India.  See more
Indian True Stories.

Funny Examples of Inglish
or Indian English Humour

1. Sri Lankans may say: I am liking it very much.
   Instead of saying: I
   like it very much.
2. They might say: She performs many charities.
   Instead of:
   She gives away a lot to charity.
3. They might say: My all closets are empty.
   Instead of: My closets
   are all empty.
4. A question: ‘Didn’t you take Rita to school?’
   May be answered
   with: Yes, I didn’t. Instead of: No, I didn’t.
5. They might say: Let’s go out for some ice-cream-vice-cream.
   They
   mean: Let us go out for some ice-cream.
6. They might say: What is your good name?
   Instead of: What is your
   name?
7. Will’s Mother, who is from Sri Lanka used to say such things
   as:
   They did it, no? / He is here, isn’t it?/ She closed the door,
   did she?
   Instead of: They did it, didn’t they? / He is here, isn’t
   he?/ She closed the door, didn’t she?

Compiled by Will with the help of Dr Roopa Nishi Viswanathan
See more examples of Inglish.

Amusing Inglish Pictures

Classic Indian Humour

How Can You Be Sure Someone Is A Sardar?

• They send a fax with a postage stamp on it.
• He tries to drown a fish in water.
• Trips over a cordless phone.
• Thinks socialism means partying.
• Studies for a blood test and fails.
• Gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
• Puts lipstick on his forehead because he wants to make up his mind.
• Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
• At the bottom of the application form where it says: “Sign Here”, he
  puts ‘Scorpio’.
• Sells the car for gas money.
• Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.
• Drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, “Airport left”, he
  turns around and goes home.
• Gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.

Indian Words Adopted by
the British

50 words from India

A – atoll, avatar
B – bandana, bangle, bazaar, Blighty, bungalow
C –
cashmere, catamaran, char, cheroot, cheetah, chintz, chit, chokey,
chutney, cot, cummerbund, curry
D – dinghy, doolally, dungarees
G –
guru, gymkhana
H – hullabaloo
J – jodhpur, jungle, juggernaut, jute
K – khaki, kedgeree
L – loot
N – nirvana
P – pariah, pashmina,
polo, pukka, pundit, purdah, pyjamas
S – sari, shampoo, shawl, swastika
T – teak, thug, toddy, typhoon
V – veranda
Y – yoga

Sources: Hobson-Jobson, Oxford English Dictionary

Unintentional Consequences – The Cobra Effect

Back in the days of India and the British Raj, the deadly cobra was
troubling the natives of Delhi. It was decided by the govenment to throw
money at the problem, and pay a bounty to the natives for killing the
cobras.

At first all went according to plan, and the numbers of the venomous
snake decreased. But then a group of wily snake charmers, seeing a nice
little earner, started breeding the cobras and selling them to the British
officers.

Well eventually, even the guileless British ruling classes rumbled that
the Indian natives were taking them for a ride. The governor withdrew the
bounty; where-upon the snake charmers retaliated by releasing the breeding
stock of cobras. Thus the unintentional consequence of a bounty to kill
the cobras was more of these venomous snakes than ever.

Footnote:
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