Grandparents Day Humour
- What Is a Grandparent?
- Grandparents Piano Escape
- Loving Thoughts On Grandparents
- Grandfather in the Ark?
- Grandparents Love
- Two Grandma Poems
- How Old Is Grandma?
- Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other peoples.
- A grandfather is a man and a grandmother is a lady.
- Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
- When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
- They show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on "cracks."
- They don't say, 'Hurry up.'
- Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
- They wear glasses and funny underwear.
- They can take their teeth and gums out.
- They have to answer questions like 'Why isn't God married?' and 'How come dogs chase cats?'
- When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.
- Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.
- They know we should have snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we've acted bad.
Grandparent's Funny Answering MachineGood morning. . . . At present we are not at home but, please leave your message after you hear the beep. Beeeeeppp ...
- If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is.
- If you need us to stay with the children, press 2.
- If you want to borrow the car, press 3.
- If you want us to wash your clothes and do the ironing, press 4.
- If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5.
- If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6.
- If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7.
- If you want to come to eat here, press 8.
- If you need money, dial 9.
Babysitting LogicOne evening a grandmother was babysitting her two granddaughters Anne and Betty. Presently, 8:00 PM rolled around. "Okay, time for bed," she informed the two children who were playing in the den. "Why?" Anne asked (aged 6). "It's so early!" "Your father said your bedtime is 8:00," the grandmother said. "You don't have to listen to him," the Betty (aged 4½) replied. "Why not?" the grandmother asked. Betty answered, "Because you're his mother!"
Grandparents Day - How Did It Start?We have Jimmy Carter to thank for creating Grandparents Day on the first Sunday after Labor Day.
- The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy. - Sam Levenson
- My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. - Gene Perret
- The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida. - Dave Barry
- One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. - Joy Hargrove
- Two things I dislike about my granddaughter - when she won't take her afternoon nap, and when she won't let me take mine. - Gene Perret
- My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there. - Indira Gandhi
- The average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he will brag a little if he discovers that his great-grandfather was a pirate. - Bern Williams
- My grandfather is the king, my Dad's the prince. I guess that makes me the butler. - Adam Petty
Grandparents:The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Collection of Grandparents' Day Jokes and Funny Stories
Grandfather's MemoryJames, a young boy of 6, turned to his Grandfather and says, 'When you die, Grampy, I don't want your money. Please will you leave me your memory.' [As told to Will by George, an old and valued friend who has a monumental memory]
Grandpa's Computer MemoryMy grandfather has recently started a course called 'Computers for the Terrified.' He's nearly eighty and, although used to be an engineer within the US Air Force, he is completely stuck when it comes to computers. He came back from his first evening at this course. When asked how it had gone, he replied, 'Yes, it was really good. I really enjoyed it, but I really couldn't get to grips with my mole.' I stopped for a second, completely puzzled, until I realised he was talking about the mouse.
Grandfather's SizeYou've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
Grandfather's TravelsMy grandfather started walking five miles a day when he was 60.........................Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
Mother Knows Best - EventuallyOne day, young Sarah girl was watching her mother make a roast sirloin of beef. She cut off the ends, wrapped it in string, seasoned it and set it in the roasting dish. Sarah politely asked her mum why she cut off the ends of the roast. Mum replied, after some thought, that it was the way that her mother had done it. That night grandma came to dinner and Sarah and her mother asked why she had cut the end off of the roast before cooking. After some thought grandma replied, she cooked the meat the way her mother had done it. Now great-grandma was quite old and lived in a residential nursing home, so Sarah, her mum and grandma went to visit her and again asked the very same question. Great-grandma looked at them a bit surprised and said, 'So it would fit in the roasting dish, of course.'
Never have children, only grandchildren. Gore Vidal
And Grandma's Too...
What Is A Grandma?Someone to sigh with Someone to cry with, To be through smiles and woes Someone to talk with Someone to walk with Wherever a path in life goes, A Grandma is a Treasure, An all around pleasure, To share with, to care with, and love Wrapped with affection, And made to perfection, A Grandma is a gift from above
Dear GrandmaDear grandma you're all alone no one by your side grandpa has left you leaving his loved one behind your feeling isolated sometimes agitated please be strong bcoz allah will be on your side you're in my tahujjed prayers pray 4 u that allah gives u health and make u strong and pious and gives u patients but most of all grant u longlife, peace and happiness insallah
- See here: How old is grandma?