Funny Children with Santa Stories

Santa and Children Children meeting with Santa Claus can be special, magical, or as in these stories - amusing.

Funny Tales of Santa with Children

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How Children Behave with Santa Claus

Santa knows if you've been naughty or nice, and this holiday season, the men who put on the red suit are spilling the beans about how kids, and adults, behave on Santa's lap. From kids who cry and the reasons why, to parents who think they can use their kids to prank the jolly old elf, Santa has seen it all. With the help of Santa Mike from Chicago and Santa Robert from Cincinnati, we've compiled some stories that will give you a holiday chuckle.

You Can't Get Much Past a Child - Even if You're Santa

Children with Santa One Santa says that he chews gum or uses breath mints, because kids are very honest about whether Santa's breath stinks. Sometimes that honesty hurts Santa's feelings. One little girl, about 5 years old, was rattling off her Christmas wish list, when she paused to ask Santa a question. 'Are you chewing gum?' she asked. Santa, taken aback by the question, admitted that yes, in fact, he was chewing gum. 'Why are you chewing gum?' she asked. Santa fessed up and admitted that he chews gum so that his breath would be nice for the children. 'OK,' she said, and went back to her list without skipping a beat. Santa letter pavement

The Ideal Santa Christmas

  • Santa Clause must be at least 5ft 10in - It looks incongruous if the child is bigger than Father Christmas.
  • Father Christmas should smell of Old Spice and peppermints. (See chewing gum above)
  • The white beard should be stuck to the face with glue.
  • He should have the full red suit, which fits properly.

A Girl Who Knows What She WantsHo Ho Ho

Santa is accustomed to kids bringing their lists with them when they visit him. But one little girl really knew what she wanted and how to get it The girl, about 6 years old and dressed in her frilliest dress, sat on Santa's lap and proceeded to read more than 20 items off of her list - everything from Barbie's and dolls to a particular brand of baby carriage. As the little girl reached the end of her list, she turned to Santa and said, 'If you can't bring all of this, don't worry. My daddy will give it to me.' 'Do you want to give me the list?' Santa asked. 'No, I think I should keep it for my daddy,' she replied. Santa, Will and Guy all agreed.

Christmas Sandwich

It's not always toys that kids want for Christmas. Santa gets some other unusual requests One 6-year-old boy sat on Santa's lap and when it came to telling Santa what he wanted for Christmas, he said, 'A sandwich.' Santa notes that the boy didn't look underfed or that he had missed any meals, but that was all the boy said he wanted. Once the boy left Santa's lap, his mother came over to ask Santa what her son wanted. Santa told her the boy wanted a sandwich. 'You're serious?' she asked. The boy's mother said they had just eaten before going to see Santa and had no idea why he would say such a thing.

Father Christmas CallsSanta Claus - Uncle Bob

Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, 'from Father Christmas.' A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Christmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no obvious reason. 'What's the matter, Al?' I asked. 'Ummmm', replied Alex slowly, 'I really hoped that you and Mummy would give me something for Christmas'. Footnote: Punishment for boys who no longer believe in Father Christmas.  They get clothes for Christmas.

More Santa with Children Stories

The Train Set

While working in a store as Santa Claus, I had lots of boys ask me for an electric train set. "If you get your train," I would tell each one, "you know your dad is going to want to play with it too.  Is that okay?" The usual answer was a quick yes, but after I asked one boy this question, he became very quiet.  Trying to move the conversation along, I asked what else he would like Santa to bring him. He promptly replied, "Another train."

Santa Gets the SackFunny Christmas Warnings

A Santa Claus is facing the sack from a Dutch shopping centre after he smacked a young boy for pulling his beard. Peter Hendriks hit the boy on the backside in front of dozens of shoppers in the town of Rijswijk. Defending his actions, he said: 'If I hadn't done that, he would have pulled off my beard and dozens of children would have been traumatised.'

Yes There Is A Santa Claus

If you want the great gift giver To come on his sleigh and deliver Then remember this simple rhyme And recall it at Christmas time "If in Santa you do not believe Christmas gifts you will not receive"

An Amusing Story Of Santa with the Two SistersFunny Santa Story

Emma and her twelve-year-old sister, Clare, had been fighting a great deal during the last year. This often can happen when you combine a strong-willed two-year-old, who is sure she is always right, with a young adolescent. Emma's parents, trying to take advantage of her newfound interest in Santa Claus, reminded the two-year-old that Santa was watching and he was unhappy when he saw children argue and fight. This had little impact on little Clare who really didn't understand. 'I'll just have to tell Santa about your misbehaviour,' the mother said as she picked up the phone and dialed. Clare's eyes grew big as her mother asked, 'Mrs. Claus?' [it was really Emma and Clare's aunt as Santa's real line was busy] if she could put Santa on the line. Clare's mouth dropped even further open her mother described to Santa [Clare's uncle] how the two-year-old was acting. When her mother told Clare that Santa wanted to talk to her, she reluctantly took the phone. Santa, speaking in a deep voice, explained to Clare how there would be no presents Christmas morning to children who fought with their sisters. He would be watching, and he expected things to be better from now on. Clare, now even more wide eyed, solemnly nodded to each of Santa's remarks and silently hung the phone up when he was done. After a short while, the sister's mother [trying hard not to laugh at being so clever] asked Clare, 'What did Santa say to you, darling?' In almost a whisper, Clare, sadly but matter-of-factly stated, 'Mummy, Santa said he won't be bringing any toys to Emma this year.'

Santa Sparks Romance

It's not only kids who make their way onto Santa's lap. There's something about the jolly man in the red suit that sparks a bit of romance in certain couples. One Santa says that he sees about two or three young men every season who use Santa to help propose to their girlfriends. Sometimes it works like a charm. Other times, not so much. In one case, the suitor was positive that his girlfriend would ask Santa for an engagement ring. But when Santa asked the young lady what she wanted, her reply was, 'A refrigerator for our new condo.' Santa Claus Her boyfriend stood nearby, perplexed. Santa seeing the sweat beginning to form on his forehead asked,'"Are you sure there isn't anything else you want?' 'No, I think that's it,' she replied. Santa asked her if she wanted something else one more time, not for her sake, but for the boyfriend's. The boyfriend finally took the hint, got down on one knee and proposed. This time, she said 'yes'. How's that for good will toward men?

Christmas Poems For Children

 Talking Turkeys

Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas Cos' turkeys just wanna hav fun Turkeys are cool, turkeys are wickedTalking Turkey An every turkey has a Mum. Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas, Don't eat it, keep it alive, It could be yu mate, an not on your plate Say, Yo! Turkey I'm on your side. I got lots of friends who are turkeys An all of dem fear christmas time, Dey wanna enjoy it, dey say humans destroyed it An humans are out of dere mind, Yeah, I got lots of friends who are turkeys Dey all hav a right to a life, Not to be caged up an genetically made up By any farmer an his wife. Turkeys just wanna play reggae Turkeys just wanna hip-hop Can yu imagine a nice young turkey saying, 'I cannot wait for de chop', Turkeys like getting presents, dey wanna watch christmas TV, Turkeys hav brains an turkeys feel pain In many ways like yu an me. I once knew a turkey called ... Turkey He said "Benji explain to me please, Who put de turkey in christmas An what happens to christmas trees?", I said "I am not too sure turkey But it's nothing to do wid Christ Mass Humans get greedy an waste more dan need be An business men mek loadsa cash'. Be nice to yu turkey dis christmas Invite dem indoors fe sum greens Let dem eat cake an let dem partake In a plate of organic grown beans, Be nice to yu turkey dis christmas An spare dem de cut of de knife, Join Turkeys United an dey'll be delighted An yu will mek new friends 'FOR LIFE'. by Benjamin Obadiah Iqbal Zephaniah

 Santa's ComingThere's more to Christmas

A good time is coming, I wish it were here, The very best time in the whole of the year; I'm counting each day on my fingers and thumbs -- The weeks that must pass before Santa Claus comes. Then when the first snowflakes begin to come down, And the wind whistles sharp and the branches are brown, I'll not mind the cold, though my fingers it numbs, For it brings the time nearer when Santa Claus comes.

 I'm Walking Backwards for ChristmasChristmas Poems For Children

Funny Christmas poem by Spike Milligan I'm walking backwards for Christmas, Across the Irish Sea, I'm walking backwards for Christmas, It's the only thing for me. I've tried walking sideways, And walking to the front, But people just look at me, And say it's a publicity stunt. I'm walking backwards for Christmas, To prove that I love you. An immigrant lad, loved an Irish colleen From Dublin Galway Bay. He longed for her arms, But she spurned his charms, And sailed o'er the foam away She left the lad by himself, on his own All alone, a-sorrowing And sadly he dreamed, or at least that's the way it seemed, buddy, That an angel choir did sing - An angel choir did sing. I'm walking backwards for Christmas, Across the Irish Sea. I'm walking backwards for Christmas, It's the finest thing for me. And so I've tried walking sideways, And walking to the front. But people just laughed, and said, "It's a publicity stunt". So I'm walking backwards for Christmas To prove that I love you. If I could write words Like leaves on an autumn forest floor, What a bonfire my letters would make. If I could speak words of water, You would drown when I said "I love you."

Santa's New Idea

Said Santa Claus One winter's night, 'I really think it's only right That gifts should have a little say 'Bout where they'll be on Christmas Day.' So then and there He called the toys Intended for good girls and boys, And when they'd settled down to hear, He made his plan for them quite clear. These were his words: 'Soon now,' he said, 'You'll all be speeding off with me To being the Christmas joy and cheer To little ones both far and near. 'Here's my idea, It seems but fair That you should each one have a share In choosing homes where you will stay On and after Christmas Day. 'Now the next weeks Before we go Over the miles of glistening snow Find out the tots that you like best And think much nicer than the rest.' The toys called out 'Hurrah! Hurrah! What fun to live always and play With folks we choose - they'll surely be Selected very carefully.' So, children dear, When you do see Your toys in socks or on a tree, You'll know in all the world 'twas you They wanted to be given to.

Before the Paling of the Stars

Before the paling of the stars, Before the winter morn, Before the earliest cock crow, Jesus Christ was born: Born in a stable, Cradled in a manger, In the world his hands had made Born a stranger. Priest and king lay fast asleep In Jerusalem; Young and old lay fast asleep In crowded Bethlehem; Saint and angel, ox and ass, Kept a watch together Before the Christmas daybreak In the winter weather. Jesus on his mother's breast In the stable cold, Spotless lamb of God was he, Shepherd of the fold: Let us kneel with Mary maid, With Joseph bent and hoary, With saint and angel, ox and ass, To hail the King of Glory. by Christina Georgina Rossetti

Little Donkey

Little donkey, little donkey, On the dusty road. Got to keep on plodding onwards, With your precious load. Been a long time, little donkey, Through the winter's night. Don't give up now, little donkey, Bethlehem's in sight. Little donkey, little donkey, Had a heavy day. Little donkey, carry Mary safely on her way. Do not falter, little donkey, There's a star ahead. It will guide you, little donkey, To a cattle shed. See more about Little Donkey

Christmas is Here

A good time is coming, I wish it were here, The very best time in the whole of the year; I'm counting each day on my fingers and thumbs -- The weeks that must pass before Santa Claus comes. Then when the first snowflakes begin to come down, And the wind whistles sharp and the branches are brown, I'll not mind the cold, though my fingers it numbs, For it brings the time nearer when Santa Claus comes

There's More to Christmas... There's more to Christmas

There's more, much more to Christmas Than candle-light and cheer; It's the spirit of sweet friendship That brightens all the year; It's thoughtfulness and kindness, It's hope reborn again, For peace, for understanding And for goodwill to men! Drawn by Shaeleigh Spracklin, age 11, of St. Lazare, Canada. See more Christmas poems.

Four Favourite, Fun and Beautiful Poems from Children to their Parents at Christmas

1. Merry Christmas

When I think of all the things you do, The ways in which you care, I'm filled with a sense of gratitude and pride That is always there. I seldom take the time to tell you That I'm happy you're my mom and dad; So I'll tell you now what's in my heart, 'You're the best that I could have!'

2. For Mother and Father

This special Christmas wish That comes with love to you Brings warm and heartfelt thanks For all the thoughtful things you do-- It also comes to let you know You both mean more each day To everyone your lives have touched In such a loving way. Happy Christmas, Mum and Dad With Love

3. Happy Christmas

The things we feel the deepest Are the hardest things to say But dear parents you must know How much I love you anyway And now that it is Christmas I'm hoping you'll know too How much I'm wishing happiness With all my heart for you.

4. Home is With Parents

Home is where parents and memories live, Full of the love only families can give, It's a place where you learn and a place where you play, It's a cosy retreat on a cold winter's day It's warm and familiar and yet always new, A place where there's always a welcome for you, Home is where laughter and happiness grow, A place you'll remember wherever you go. Merry Christmas to both of you With love

Five Favourite Fun Poems from Parents to Children at Christmas

[Best read aloud]

1. Little Christmas Carollers Talking Turkey

We are a band of carollers, We march through frost and snow, But care not for the weather As on our way we go. At every hall or cottage That stands upon our way, We stop to give the people Best wishes for the day. We pray a merry Christmas, Made bright by Christmas cheer, With peace, and hope, and gladness And all they may hold dear. And for all those that happen To pass us on our way We have a smile, and wish them A merry Christmas-day. by L.A France

2. The best gift at Christmas is easy to see

Its not wrapped in paper or under the tree Cos' the best gift at Christmas and all the year through Is having a child as special as you! 

3. The funniest face

Looked out at me From a silver ball On the Christmas tree. At first I thought It was Santa's elf, But I looked again and It was just myself!

4. Christmas Is Coming

Christmas is coming, The geese are getting fat, Please to put a penny in an old man's hat; If you haven't got a penny a ha'penny will do, If you haven't got a ha'penny, God bless you.Talking Turkey

5. A Chubby Snowman

A chubby little snowman Had a carrot nose. Along came a bunny, and what do you suppose? That hungry little bunny, Looking for some lunch, Grabbed that snowman's nose, Nibble, nibble, crunch! Footnote: Please send us more of your funny stories about Santa with children.

See more funny Santa jokes and funny pictures. Also snowman pics

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