Funny Short Women's Stories
- Reverse Psychology?
- Thought-Provoking Story of Sand and Stone
- There's No Fury Like a Woman Scorned!
- Virginia Woolf Impersonates Emperor of Abyssinia
- Mail Order - Mail Order?
- Warning - Women's Body Parts Move!
- Battleground: Leftovers
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∇Reverse Psychology?
Iris, my sister-in-law, is a long distance lorry driver. She decided to get a dog for protection for the long days and nights that she was away from home. As she studied a likely candidate, the breeder told her, 'I must warn you that he doesn't like men.' 'Perfect', Iris thought and promptly bought the dog. Some time later as she was leaving a transport café, two men approached her, in the car park, and Iris watched to see how her new 'bodyguard' would react. It soon became clear that the breeder hadn't been joking, because as the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car and hid.The Amusing and Thought-Provoking Story of Sand and Stone
This story tells of two friends, Amanda and Margot, who were walking together on the edge of the Sahara the desert in north Africa. During some point of the journey, they had an argument, and Margot slapped the other one in the face. Mandy, who got slapped, was hurt, but without saying anything, she wrote in the sand, 'Today my best friend, Margot, slapped me in the face.' They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. Mandy who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, and naturally her friend, Margot, saved her by pulling her out of the quicksand. After she recovered from the near drowning, Mandy wrote on a stone, 'Today, my best friend Margot saved my life.' Margot who had slapped and saved her best friend, asked Mandy, 'After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand, and now, you write on a stone, why?' Mandy replied with a knowing smile, 'When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand, where the winds of forgiveness can erase it, but when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone, so no wind can ever erase it.' Learn to write your hurts in the sand and carve your blessings in stone.More Short Tales Where Women Come Out On Top
There's No Fury Like a Woman Scorned!
On the first day Margo packed all her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, Margo sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
Virginia
Woolf Impersonates Emperor of Abyssinia
On February 10, 1910, six friends [including the young Virginia Woolf -
English novelist] boarded H.M.S. Dreadnought disguised as the Emperor of
Abyssinia, his Abyssinian cohorts, and an interpreter.
The British Navy came out in full colours to receive their distinguished
guests, who were dressed in costumes, with dyed skin and hair, and speaking
a language they were inventing as they went.
Virginia Woolf (circled), Duncan Grant, Horace Cole, Anthony Buxton
(seated), Adrian Stephen, Guy Ridley
Another Short Story for Women
Mail / Male Order?
Two Irish men, Kearney and O'Riordan were looking at a Mail order
catalogue and admiring the models. Kearney remarks to O'Riordan, 'Have you
seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?'
O'Riordan replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price.'
Kearney says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this
price, I'm buying one.'
O'Riordan, smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea. Order one and if
she's as beautiful as she is in the catalogue, I will get one too.'
Three weeks later, Kearney, the youngest of the two asks his friend,
O'Rordan, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from that catalogue?'
O'Riordan replies with a glint in his eye, 'No, but it shouldn't be long
now. She sent all her clothes yesterday.'
Short Stories For Women
If you don't see a topic that on this page please try our 'Search' box because we have a large selection of amusing yarns, tall tales and short stories about women in our other sections.Don't Mess with the Elderly
Doris Mason, a little old lady living in Cheltenham, England, answered a knock on the door one day, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. 'Good morning, Ma'am,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in vacuum cleaners.' 'Go away!' said Doris brusquely. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money for new fangled contraptions,' and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty,' he commanded. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her dining room carpet. 'Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.' Doris stepped back and said with a smile, 'Well let me get you a spoon, young man because Southern Electric cut off my power this morning.' See more retirement jokes.A Funny Shaggy Dog Tale from the Atlanta Daily
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cosy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy.
Warning - Women's Body Parts Move
[Open letter from Ms Peggy Legg] This is an explanation to those friends and family who have experienced mysterious switches of their body parts. This effect is especially noticeable in January. You may have read of the scare story about the man whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban myth, my story is true - it occurs to me practically every day.


Gone Fishing

Another Short Story Women Can Relate to their Cooking Experience
Here is an original story from my favourite living author.Battleground: Leftovers By Charlene Wexler
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." - Calvin Trillin In a restaurant, if I turned to talk with the friends we were dining with or went to the ladies' room, my plate of food would disappear. No, it wasn't that the waiters were so efficient. It was my husband, Sam, who was packing up our half-eaten orders to make sure we had leftovers at home. Sam came from a family in which plates were cleaned and no food was ever thrown out. I came from a family in which it was good manners to leave something on your plate, and leftovers were sometimes eaten the next day, but just as often thrown out. Our differences concerning leftovers were not as troubling when there were two growing boys and a dog in the family. But now that we are retired empty nesters, leftovers have become a battleground. I could be happy that Sam's attitude minimizes my need to cook. If I make a meal from scratch one day a week and we eat out two, Sam can stretch the leftovers to cover our meals for the rest of the week, or even more. Although I may be required to make the leftover chicken into a pot pie, the leftover beef into chop suey, or the bread that is about to turn green into French toast. I can handle converting leftovers into another meal, but I can't handle watching them turn moldy. I've tried to tell Sam that the cat ate the food, but that line doesn't work the way it did when we had dogs. That darn cat won't touch any people food but tuna, and Sam knows it. Many mornings are spent with Sam asking, "Did you throw out my ...?" Usually, I actually didn't. It is just that the refrigerator is so packed with styrofoam or aluminum foil containers that he can't find what he is looking for. Then, once every two weeks, I brace myself for a fight and clean out the refrigerator in anticipation of new leftovers. There must be a leftover gene. On the day of my marriage, my mother-in-law was busy packing wedding food into her shopping bag; the refrigerator at my son Mike's house is full of styrofoam and aluminum foil containers. "After 45 years I guess I can't change Sam," I said to myself recently as I munched on week-old chocolate cake. I don't consider chocolate in the leftover category.See more writing by Charlene Wexler »
Footnote: Please send us your short stories for women.