Basic Rules for Flying

Basic Flying Rules for all pilots:

  1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
  2. Do not go near the edges of it.
  3. The edges of the air can be recognised by the
    appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

Tower to Cessna – What’s your location

Cessna: ‘Warren tower, Cessna 37245, student pilot, I am out of fuel.’

Tower: ‘Roger Cessna, 37245 reduce airspeed to best glide. Do you have the airfield in sight?’

Cessna: ‘Um………tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is.’

Control Tower to Pilot

PQ872: ‘Tower, give me a rough time-check.’
Tower: ‘It’s Thursday, sir.’

Pilot: ‘…Tower, please call me a fuel truck.’
Tower: ‘Roger. You are a fuel truck.’

Pilot: ‘Ground, LH-line 201,
requesting start-up.”
Tower: ‘Sorry, LH-line 201, we don’t have your flight plan. What is your destination?’

Pilot: ‘To Edinburgh, like every Wednesday.’
Tower: ‘But today is Thursday!’
‘WHAT? But Thursday’s our day off.’

Tower: ‘You have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles.’
Pilot: ‘Give us another hint, we have digital watches.’

Ground Control: ‘476WB, bear to the left, disabled
aircraft on the right.’
Pilot: ‘476WB, Roger, I have the disabled aircraft in sight, but I don’t see the bear yet.’

Noisy Kite?

A RAF [Royal Air Force] engineering officers joke:

the difference between a fighter pilot and his aircraft?
‘The plane stops whining when you shut down the engines.’

Crash Report

My wife started taking flying lessons about the time of our divorce and
she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same

Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was
piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in a rural area
because of bad weather.

The CAA (Civil Aviation Authority) issued a preliminary report, citing
pilot error: She was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument
flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight
rating) rating.

The report stated that the absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to
insufficient fuel on board.

No one on the ground was injured.

The photograph below was taken at the scene and shows the extent of
damage to her aircraft.

She was very lucky …

Broom Craft
  • Footnote:
    Please send us your funny pilot pictures

See more funny plane pictures and videos.  Also
aircraft and pilot jokes

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Plane Illusion    •
Plane, Lucky Escape   • F-15

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Will’s Plane Landing?   •
Typhoon F2 Approach

Helicopter Crashes Video   •
Grandma Flying   •
Yorkshire Airlines   •
Russian Air Show   •