Funny Foody Jokes One-liners

Will and Guy have an assortment of foody jokes and one-liners.

Food Jokes on this Page

• Baker One-liners and Puns
• 7 Cook One-liners
• Chicken or Duck?

Baker One-liners and Puns

• A baker stopped making doughnuts after he got tired of the hole
  thing.
• Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
• When baking dog biscuits, be sure to use collie flour.
• Working in the bakery left her with a loathe of bread.
• Good bakers will rise to the occasion, it’s the yeast they can do.
• When asked about rumours that he owned a bakery, Shakespeare
  replied, ‘It’s much a-dough about muffin.’
• The gingerbread man thought he couldn’t be caught, until he met his
  baker.
• The two bakers who traded buns had a roll reversal.
• Our local baker pays his staff on a flourly rate.
• Bakeries show how well their business is doing with a pie chart.
• The baker who always put too much flour in his bread was a gluten
  for punishment.
• Old bakers never die, they just keep making lots of dough.

Do You Fancy Leak Soup?

Checking the menu, Nigel, a restaurant customer, ordered a bowl of soup.
After a couple of spoonfuls, he saw a circle of wetness right under the bowl
on the tablecloth.  He called over to the waitress and said, ‘It’s all
wet down here. The bowl must be cracked.’

The waitress said, ‘You ordered the vegetable soup, didn’t you?’

‘Yes,’ Nigel replied grimacing

‘Well, maybe it has a leek in it!’, suggested the waitress.

7 Cook One-liners

1. The cannibal’s cookbook titled ‘How to Better Serve your Fellow Man’
   was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.
2. A lawyer-turned-cook is a sue chef.
3. Stir-fry cooks come from all woks of life.
4. The chef took some cheese and made some grate things.
5. Some cooks have a shellfish attitude.
6. The compensation received by the Italian chef was a pretty penne.
7. You know the restaurant has a clown as a chef when the food tastes
   funny.

Funny Foody Stories

Chicken – or Duck?

Rhoda and Harry go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the ‘Chicken Surprise.’ The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded
cast iron pot. Just as Rhoda is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

‘Good grief, did you see
that?’ she asks her husband, Harry. He hasn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot. Harry reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather
perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

‘Please sir,’ stammers the waiter, ‘what you order?’
Harry replies, ‘Chicken Surprise.’

‘Ah! So sorry, is
mistake’ says the waiter, ‘I bring you Peeking Duck!’

Kindly sent in by Alan Turnham.

Cake Decoration Misnake

This cake was commissioned for Suzanne.  The colleage who ordered the cake told
the baker to write: “Best
Wishes Suzanne” and underneath that, write “We will Miss you”. They
couldn’t even spell ‘underneath’ correctly!

Cormorant Recipe

Here is one of the strangest recipes that we
have ever seen.  It was first published in Countryman’s Cooking, by W.M.W Fowler circa 1965

.Having shot your cormorant, hold it well away from you as you carry it home; these birds are exceedingly verminous and the lice are said to be not entirely host-specific. Hang up by the feet with a piece of
wire, soak in petrol and set on fire. This treatment both removes most of the feathers and kills the lice.
See the full
cormorant recipe here.

Footnote
Please send us your funny foody jokes.