Funny Cat Pictures and Stories
- Cat Walks Through the Valley of Death
- Cat Nap?
- Cat Adopts Bird
- Cat Gets the Cream
- Cat, Bear or Godzilla?
- Cat's Diary
- Cat and Mouse
- Catfish? No - Cat Fish!
- How To Give a Cat a Pill Joke
- The Infinite Cat Project
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∇Cat Walks Through the Valley of Death

Who Let the Cat Out of the Bag?

Cat Nap?
What a lovely image of innocence.
Cat
Adopts Bird 
A cat has adopted a bird which hurt itself when it fell out of its nest in Brazil and cannot fly. The cat, called Chiquita, has reportedly raised the bird as if it was its mother in Porto Alegre, Brazil. They eat from the same plate and the cat even uses the bird to catch other birds to eat. Chiquita's
owner, Nair de Souza, has named the bird Pitico, reports Zero Hora. Mrs Souza said: 'Pitico has even
started to eat meat, because the two of them only eat together. 'But Chiquita uses Pitico to help her catch other birds, it is really unbelievable!'Funny Cat Pictures - Cat Gets the Cream #1

Cat Gets the Cream #2

Greed
In front of the local butcher's, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realised with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery. It was, in fact, a collector's item. He strolled into the store and offered two pounds for the cat. 'He's not for sale', said the butcher. 'Look', said the collector', that moggy is dirty and scabby, but I'm an eccentric. I prefer cats that way. I'll raise my offer to ten pounds'. 'It's a deal', said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten immediately. 'For that amount of money I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the saucer', said the connoisseur', 'The kitten seems so happy drinking from it.' 'I can't do that', said the butcher firmly, 'That's my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week, I've sold 18 cats.'Tomcat, Bear or Godzilla?

A Cat's
Diary 
Day 84 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is
the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were
walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must
try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and
condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event.
However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called 'allergies'.
Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand,
has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. It's
only a matter
of time.Cat and Mouse

More Very Funny Cat Pictures
Catfish? No, cat fish!



Drole Picture of a Guilty Cat

Cat Stuck in Jar
A feral cat in Bartlett, Tennessee, USA, survived for 19 days with a jar stuck on its head. Tabitha Cain, 25, has fed the cat, which she has named Wild Oats, for several years. The family saw the cat a number of times with the peanut butter jar on its head and tried in vain to catch it. The Cain family feared the worst after not seeing the cat for a week. They found the, once-chubby, cat later, too thin and weak to flee. They caught her with a fishing net and used some oil to get the jar off her head. They gave her water and treated her wounds and on Friday she began to eat again. 'I've heard of cats having nine lives but I think this one has 19 because she survived 19 days,' commented Tabitha's mother. Memphis vet, Gerald Blackburn, added that the cat may have lived off of its excess fat.Homing Cat
Michael really hated his wife, Patricia's cat. So he decided to get rid of the feline for good. Michael put it in the car and drove 2 miles away and dropped it off. Just as he pulled in the driveway, he noticed the cat sitting in the entrance the porch. The next day he decided he would take the cat 5 miles away and drop it off. But again, the cat found it's way home. Each day Michael kept going further and further away, but the cat would always find it's way home. Michael was so furious that he decided to take the cat even further away, he turned right, then left, circled around, then right again, another right, backtracked a couple of times, then left again. He then dropped the cat off. Several hours later, he 'phoned Patricia, 'Darling, is the cat there?'. 'Yes,' she answered. 'Why?'. Michael replied bitterly, 'Put that flippin' animal on the 'phone. I'm lost and need directions.' See more funny cat stories.True Story About a Welsh Cat
The Sun newspaper reports the story of a cat named Aslan who fell asleep under a car bonnet in the East Anglian town of Ipswich in the UK. The car's owner and driver, a Mr Rob Hillier, then drove the car some 260 miles to visit his relatives in Maesteg, Mid Glamorgan, Wales. The next day Aslan's cries [surely 'miaows' says Will] were heard and he was found unhurt and returned home. I imagine he travelled more comfortably this time.More Free, Funny Cat Pictures
Close Shave

Washer One - Comical Cat Images
When I was his age, I felt like this about bathing


How To Give a Cat a Pill Joke
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. 6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
The Football Star 'Cat'
Cam, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A woman is standing three floors up on ledge holding her pet cat in her arms. 'Hey, lady, 'yells Cam, 'Throw me the cat.' 'No, 'she cries, 'It's too far.' 'I play football, I can catch him.' The smoke is pouring from the windows, and finally, the woman waves to Cam, kisses her cat goodbye, and then tosses the moggy down onto the street.
The Infinite Cat Project

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