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1) Gone Fishing

Alex had a terrible day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one.  On his way home, he stopped at the fishmonger and ordered four rainbow trout.  He told the
fishmonger, ‘Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?’

‘Why do you want me to throw them at you?’
Asked the salesman?’
So that I am able to tell my wife, in all honesty, that I caught them.’
said Alex.

‘Okay, but I suggest that
you take the salmon.’
Why’s
that?’
Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take salmon. That’s
what she’
d like for supper tonight.’
replied
the fishmonger with a grin.


2) How to Get Really Smart

A customer at Stingray Fishmongers marvelled at the owner’s
quick wit and intelligence.

‘Tell me, Simon, what makes you so smart?’
Fishy tales Will and Guy's humour

‘I wouldn’t
share my secret with just anyone, ‘Simon replies,
lowering his voice so the other shoppers won’t
hear.’
But since you’re a good and faithful customer, I’ll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you’
ll be positively brilliant.’

‘You sell them
here?’
the customer asks.

‘Only $4 apiece, ‘says Simon.

The customer buys three. A week later, he’s
back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn’t
any smarter.

‘You
didn’t
eat enough, ‘says Simon. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he’s
back and this time he’s
really angry.

‘Hey, Simon, ‘he complains, ‘you’re selling me fish heads for $4 a
piece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. you’re ripping me off!’

‘You see?’
says Simon.’
you’re smarter already.’