Christmas Jokes – Funny Images and Stories

This page is a mini sitemap for Will and Guy' Christmas Jokes and Humour.  Enjoy our jokes, riddles, videos and funny Christmas pictures for the festive season.


Christmas Humour - Topics

Christmas Jokes

Funny Christmas Pictures

  • Advent Calendar
  • Christmas Cartoons
  • Christmas Pictures
  • Christmas Snow
  • Christmas Trees!
  • Cats at Christmas
  • Dogs at Christmas
  • 'Feel Good' Christmas Pics
  • Father Christmas Pictures
  • Santa Claus Pictures
  • Santa Cartoons - Sleighs
  • Polar Bear Skating
  • Polar Bear Christmas
  • Rudolph's Red Nose
  • Reindeer - New Slant
  • Snowmen
  • Snow Sculpture Santa
  • Stuff for Christmas
  • Trivia and Facts
  • Turkey for Christmas

Funny Christmas Jokes

Funny Christmas Images

'Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell.'
'Take these pills and if they don't work, give me a ring.'

  • Hazard Warning for Christmas
  • Quotes for Christmas
  • Humorous Xmas Cards
  • Boxing Day Jokes

Funny Christmas Videos and PowerPoint Presentations

Christmas tree lights - outside

  • Christmas Tree Pictures
  • Lights - Classic Outside
  • Lights - Searchlight Video
  • Lights - Jazzy Outside
  • Christmas Tree Lights
  • Christmas Tree Sublime
  • Xmas Food
  • Snowball Video
  • Snow and Ice
  • Unusual Christmas Trees
  • Polar Bear Meets Huskies (PPT)
  • Right Present for Christmas
  • Xmas Animation

Funny Kids Christmas Jokes

  • More Funny Children's Christmas Stories
  • Short Funny Stories for Christmas
  • Snow Shoveler's Diary
  • Stories for Christmas
  • Story about Christmas - 'No room at the inn'
  • Christmas Tree Lights Solar-powered
  • Kissing Under the Mistletoe
  • Christmas Humour
  • Santa Claus History
  • Christmas 2010 - Saturday
  • Christmas Poems
  • Quiz for Christmas

Religious Christmas

  • Angels for Christmas
  • Funny Christmas Religious Jokes
  • Naming Jesus
  • Christmas Carols
  • Traditional Carols at Christmas
  • The True Religious Story of Christmas
  • Christmas Carols (12 days)
  • New Year Humour

Stages of Christmas

When you consider Christmas, there are four stages in your life:-

1)  You believe in SantaChristmas cat
2)  You don't believe in Santa
3)  You are Santa
4)  You look like Santa

Christmas Warnings

23 people have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

39 people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and an Honest Lawyer

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.

Another Funny Christmas Picture - Santa Claus Sledge Needs a Tow

Funny Christmas Snow Scenes

Santa Claus' sledge broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, 'Can you help me fix my sledge, please?'

'Sorry,' the motorist replied, 'I'm not a mechanic - I'm a podiatrist.'

'In that case,' retorted Santa, 'Can you give me a tow?'..........[toe]

Xmas Humour - Cracker Riddle

What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?
This will sleigh you.

Q. What's Christmas called in England?
A. Yule Britannia! (English Christmas Humour!)

School Nativity - Urban Myth

The boy who was playing the Inn Keeper was fed up of his insignificant role, so when Joseph knocked and asked if there was any room in the inn.  Instead of saying 'No' as he was supposed to, the young prima donna said, 'Come in Joseph and Mary, there is plenty of room in my inn.'

How They Forecast a Cold Winter

One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked by his tribal elders if the winter of 2010/11 was going to be cold
or mild.  The chief asked his medicine man, but he too had lost touch with the reading signs from the natural world around the Great

In truth, neither of them had idea about how to predict the coming winter.  However, the chief decided to take a modern approach, and
the chief rang the National Weather Service in Gaylord Michigan.

How Indian Chief Forecast a Cold Winter

'Yes, it is going to be a cold winter,' the meteorological officer told the chief.  Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told
the men to collect plenty of firewood.

A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service and asked for an update. 'Are you still forecasting a cold winter?' he asked.

'Yes, very cold', the weather officer told him.

As a result of this brief conversation the chief went back to the tribe and told his people to collect every bit of wood they could find.

A month later the chief called the National Weather Service once more and asked about the coming winter. 'Yes,' he was told, 'it is going to
be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied: 'Because the Native Americans of the Great Lakes are collecting wood like crazy.'

Bambi Meets Snowman

Funny Christmas Snowman

Don't Try This at Home!

Pastor Tony is walking down the street on Christmas eve when he notices a Larry, a small boy, trying to press the doorbell of a
house across the street.  However, Larry is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's
efforts for some time, Pastor Tony moves closer to Larry's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow
and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to Larry's level, Pastor Tony smiles benevolently and asks, 'And now what, my little man?'

To which Larry replies with a beaming grin, 'Now we run!'

Christmas Videos

Christmas tree lights - outside

Bygone Christmases - 1940

Christmas 1940 - A Christmas Under German Blitz

Following the phoney war of 1939, Britain suffered directly and indirectly from German bombing. Most seriously over 24,000 innocent civilians had been killed in the Blitz not only in London but also in Coventry, Manchester and Liverpool.

Christmas trees were not a high priority for townspeople because they spent so much time in their air-raid shelters, which were too cramped for a modern sized Christmas tree.

Effects of Rationing
For a typical war time Christmas we would consider the typical Christmas fayre a joke, except it was not funny in 1940 due to rationing.  For example a family's meat ration would not cover a small chicken.  Country people had it better, provided they planned ahead and reared their own chicken, or failing that a rabbit or two.  One reason that those who survived the war were so healthy was thank to 'dig for victory' whereby people planted every available space with healthy vegetables.

The government also gave extra sugar rations for the Women's Institutes to convert autumn fruits into jams and other preserves.  As for all
those goodies that Britain now imports from Europe, French cheese, Spanish wine - forget it - the German U-Boat blockade in 1940 meant no luxuries.

How to Say "Merry Christmas" in 75 Other Languages

AfrikaansGesëende Kersfees
AlbanianGezur Krislinjden
ArabicIdah Saidan Wa
Sanah Jadidah
ArgentineFeliz Navidad
ArmenianShenoraavor Nor
Dari yev Pari Gaghand
BasqueZorionak eta Urte
Berri On!
BengaliShuvo Naba Barsha
BohemianVesele Vanoce
BrazilianBoas Festas e
Feliz Ano Novo
BretonNedeleg laouen na
bloavezh mat
BulgarianTchestita Koleda;
Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo
CatalanBon Nadal i un
Bon Any Nou!
ChileFeliz Navidad
Chinese(Cantonese) Gun
Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun
Chinese(Mandarin) Kung
His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
CornishNadelik looan na
looan blethen noweth
CorsianPace e salute
CroatianSretan Bozic
CzechPrejeme Vam
Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok
DanishGlædelig Jul
Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar!
EnglishMerry Christmas
Eskimo(inupik) Jutdlime
pivdluarit ukiortame pivdluaritlo!
EsperantoGajan Kristnaskon
FinnishHyvaa joulua
FlemishZalig Kerstfeest
en Gelukkig nieuw jaar
FrenchJoyeux Noel
Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije Jier!
GaelicNollaig chridheil
agus Bliadhna mhath ùr!
HawaiianMele Kalikimaka
HebrewMo'adim Lesimkha.
Chena tova
HindiShub Naya Baras
HawaiianMele Kalikimaka
ame Hauoli Makahiki Hou!
Karacsonyi unnepeket
IcelandicGledileg Jol
IndonesianSelamat Hari
IraqiIdah Saidan Wa
Sanah Jadidah
IrishNollaig Shona
Dhuit, or Nodlaig mhaith chugnat
ItalianBuone Feste
JapaneseShinnen omedeto.
Kurisumasu Omedeto
KoreanSung Tan Chuk Ha
LatinNatale hilare et
Annum Faustum!
Ziemsve'tkus un Laimi'gu Jauno Gadu!
LithuanianLinksmu Kaledu
MalteseLL Milied
ManxNollick ghennal
as blein vie noa
MaoriMeri Kirihimete
NorwegianGod Jul, or
Gledelig Jul
Papua New GuineaBikpela hamamas
blong dispela Krismas na Nupela yia i go long yu
PeruFeliz Navidad y un Venturoso
PhilippinesMaligayan Pasko!
PolishWesolych Swiat
Bozego Narodzenia or Boze Narodzenie
PortugueseFeliz Natal
fericite & La multi ani
RussianS RazhdеstvOm!
(New Year S Novim Godom!)
SamoanLa Maunia Le
Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou
SerbianHristos se rodi
SlovakianSretan Bozic or
Vesele vianoce
SamoanLa Maunia Le
Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou
Scots GaelicNollaig chridheil
SerbianHristos se rodi.
SlovakVesele Vianoce. A
stastlivy Novy Rok
SpanishFeliz Navidad
SwedishGod Jul and (Och)
Ett Gott Nytt Ã...r
ThaiSawadee Pee Mai
TonganMele Kalisimasi
TurkishNoeliniz Ve Yeni
Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun
UkrainianХристос Родився (Hrustos Roduvsya)
UrduNaya Saal Mubarak
VietnameseChung Mung Giang
WelshNadolig Llawen
YugoslavianCestitamo Bozic
Will and GuyFunny Merry Christmas

Footnote: Please write to Will and Guy if you have any good examples of  Christmas Humour.