After Dinner Jokes

This page is a mini sitemap for after dinner stories that tickle our sense of humour.  We selected each story because it made us laugh, some stories are true, while others are invented, it’s
fun sifting myth
from reality.

Many of these stories are
suitable for after-dinner speeches.  I also think that story of ‘Six Chicken Bunas’
or ‘The Supermarket Story’ could be the basis of a plot in a sketch, T.V. program or even a short film.

• True story of Six Chicken Bunas
• New Element Administratum
• Irish Short Stories
• Old Age is a Gift
• Supermarket Story
• Short Stories – Assorted
• Moral Short Stories
• Two Men Ill in Hospital
• Two Old Men
• Father and Son Tale
• Thanksgiving Stories
• Smithsonian Exhibit

Oscar Wilde’s
Wit

A pompous speaker who had a great opinion of himself gave a long after-dinner speech. He then made the mistake of turning to
his neighbour on the top table, who happened to be Oscar Wilde, and asked, ‘How would you have delivered that speech?’
Under an assumed name’, came the reply from Oscar Wilde.

(See more of Oscar Wilde’s
Wit)

Old Age, I decided, is a gift!

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to
be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body – the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don’t
agonize over those
things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself.
I’ve become my own friend. I don’t
chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t
need, but looks so avante-garde on my patio. I am
entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Continues here…..

Funny Supermarket Story

This is how to find your wife, even in the busiest supermarket.  Follow these
four point
instructions, the technique never fails.

1. Have a look around at the shoppers, then walk up to the prettiest girl
   in the store.
2. Say to her, ‘Excuse me, can you help me?  I cannot see my wife, and I know that she is
   here in the supermarket somewhere.
   Can you just talk to me for a couple of minutes?’
3. The pretty girl will ask: ‘Why?’
4. You reply: ‘Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife
   materialises out of thin air.’

        Urban Myths

• =rand(99,200)
• Airlines to Avoid
• April the First Classics
• Just Like Archie
• Grammy Gordon
• Kilroy and Chad Urban Myth
• Pay Error
• Lighthouse Yarn
• Piltdown Man Hoax
• Spaghetti Hoax
• Supermarket
  Saga
• Swedish Colour TV Hoax
• Traffic incident
• USA v Canada Rivalry

Short Story

When visiting my wife’s
home country of England on our honeymoon, we arrived at London’s
Heathrow Airport. Geraldine headed for the British passport entry queue
while I, an Australian, waited in the ‘foreigners’
queue. When my turn came, the Immigration official asked me the purpose of my visit. ‘Pleasure,’ I replied. ‘I’m on my honeymoon.’

The officer looked first
to one side of me, then the other. ‘That’s
very interesting, sir,’ he said as he stamped my passport. ‘Most men bring their wives with them.’

Can you believe this? Could it only happen in the USA?

A jury of her peers awarded a woman from Austin, Texas $780,000  after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amok inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tyke was the woman’s
own son.

A 19 year old youth from Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran his hand
over with a Honda Accord. The young man apparently didn’t
notice someone was at the wheel of the car whose hubcap he was trying to steal.