- Semi-annual after-Christmas sale.
- We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $10.00.
- Auto repair service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
- Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
- Tattoos done while you wait.
- Buy your new bedroom suite from us, and we will stand behind it for six months.
- Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
- For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
- Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
- Wanted: Mother's helper - peasant working conditions.
- Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
- Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
- No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
- Is there chicken in your vegetarian gumbo?
More Strange Things People Say and Do
- A person should bathe once in summer but not so often in winter.
- Spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
- Definition of Census taker - a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
- Definition of Syntax - Tax paid by the sinners at the church.
- Definition of Virgin Forest - It is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.
- Future tense of 'I give' - 'I take'.
- Houses in France are generally made up of Plaster of Paris.
- Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
- Parts of Speech - Lungs and air.
- The word 'trousers' is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
- What is H2O and CO2? - H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
- What the residents of Moscow are called? - Mosquitoes.
Chemical Formula of Water has two gins - Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin while Hydrogin is gin and water.
- Is it because light travels faster than sound that some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
- It's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow. How cold will it be?
- Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
- Why do banks charge you an 'insufficient funds' fee on money they already know you don't have?
- Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
- Why are there 5 syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'?
- Why do they call it the Department of the Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
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