Funny Support Calls

Funny Support Calls - Computer Tech Support JokesWe have collected the funniest calls to computer tech support departments at Dell BT and HP.

Contents

 

Actual Calls to
Computer Technical Support Reps

Get the right computer - 1

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't
work. What am I doing wrong?

Tech support: OK, You've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....

Tech
support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't
got a computer. It's
in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....

Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

Get the right computer - 2

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...

Change of Mind

Customer: I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don't want my wife to think that it's me.'
Advisor: 'I will remove them for you.'

Customer: 'How do I get them back when
she is not in?'

Step 1...

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't
get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's
really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't
sound good; I'll make a
note.

Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't
inserted it into the computer yet... it's
still on my desk... sorry....

Amusing Password
Logic

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the
following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyParis"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that
it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

Seeing Stars
 Tech support jokes
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

Touch and Go
Customer: I have
a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Circular argument
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a'
in the address, but how do I get
the circle around it?

Local difficulty
Customer: My 14 year-old son has put a password
on my computer and I can't get in.
Advisor: Has he forgotten it?
Customer: No he just won't tell me it because I've grounded him.

Language difficulty
Customer: 'How do you spell 'Internet America'
? Is there a space between 'inter'
and 'net'
?'

Tech Support: 'No space between 'inter'
and 'net'
. It's
spelled normally.'

Customer: 'Ok. A-M-E-R-I-C-K?'
Tech Support: 'That's
A-M-E-R-I-C-A.'
Customer: 'I-C-K???'

Tech Support: 'A as in apple'
Customer: 'There's
no 'K'
in apple!'

No comment
Customer: I met a man on the internet, can you give me his phone number?
See more on internet humour.

Customer Tech Support - Network Engineeer

 Tech support Security

Will and Guy's
- Tech Support Jokes

We have selected the best ten Tech Support Jokes.  They were take by advisors at BT, HP and Dell.F1 key - help. Tech support jokes

1) Customer: 'My disk ran out of space when trying to save my Word document, so I changed it from double spaced to single spaced and it still wouldn't
fit!'

2) Advisor: 'Press any key to continue.
Customer: I can't find the 'Any' key.

3) Great Vision
3a) Tech Support: 'Ok, in the bottom left of the screen, can you see the 'OK'
button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'

3b) Advisor: Can you click on 'My Computer'?
Customer: I don't have your computer, just mine.

3c) Advisor: You have Spyware on your machine which is causing the problem.
Customer: Spyware? Can they see me getting dressed through the monitor?

3d) Customer: My family in Australia use BT Softphone, I can see them but they can't see me.
Advisor: What brand is
your webcam?
Customer: What's a webcam?

4) No Saving Grace
Customer: 'All my files I saved last week to my C: drive are missing!'

Tech Support: 'Do you remember what directory you
first saved them in?'

Customer: 'No, I don't
. I just know it was on my C: drive.'

Tech Support: 'Ok, I'll walk you through how to find the files.'

Customer: 'I wouldn't
think I would be losing
files on this computer. Gee, I just had the hard drive replaced in it yesterday.'
Computer Jokes

5) Tricky Install
Customer: 'Do I need a computer to use your software?'

Tech Support: 'Ok, I can help you install the software. Would you like me to do that?'
Customer: 'Yes.'

Tech Support: 'All right, can you
insert the disk in the disk drive please?'

Customer: 'How?'

Tech Support: 'Place the disk in the opening at the front of the computer.'

Customer: 'Will I have to have my computer delivered before
we can do this'

Tech Support: 'Um yes, that might be an idea.'

6) Customer:
My iPod will only play one song.
Advisor: Which other tracks have you downloaded from iTunes?
Customer: Do I need to download tracks?

7) Tech Support: 'Have you made backups of
your software and data?'

Customer: 'I didn't
know it had a reverse.'
How do I change channel on my monitor?

8) Customer: How do I change channel on my
monitor?
Advisor: Your monitor won't have channels like a TV.
Customer: But I was watching the internet channel the other day and now I just get the word processing channel.

9) Customer:
My mouse mat isn't wired up.
Advisor: I'm not sure I understand, your mouse mat shouldn't have any wires.
Customer: Well how does it know where my mouse is? Is it wireless?

Another Batch of Funny
Support Calls

Give Microsoft a chance

Customer: 'I'm having trouble installing
Microsoft Word.'

Tech Support: 'Tell me what You've done.'

Customer: 'I typed A:SETUP.'

Tech Support: 'Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.'

Customer: 'It says [PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'.

Tech Support: 'Insert the MS Word setup disk.'

Customer: 'What?'

Tech Support: 'Did you buy Microsoft Word?'
Customer: 'No...'

Dial Tone

Tech
Support: 'Thank you for calling. May I have your phone number beginning with area code first, please?'
There was a pregnant pause, then a series of touch tones.

Tech Support: 'Hello? I need your
phone number, please'. More touch tones.

Tech Support: 'Hi, can you hear me?'

Customer: 'Yes.'

Tech Support: 'Great, then can you please tell me your phone number so I can pull up your file?'
More touch tones.

Tech Support: 'Sir, what's
your name?'

Customer: Malcolm

Tech Support: 'Great, now can you tell me your phone number?'
Touch tones again.

Tech Support: 'Please, tell me your
phone number.'

Customer: 'Again?'

Tech Support: 'Yes sir, if you don't
mind, but can you please just tell me verbally?'
Touch tones yet again.

Tech Support: 'Sir, contrary to popular opinion,
support is not half machine. I'll need you to verbally tell me your phone number with your mouth so I can bring up your account info, got it?'

Customer: 'You people are rude as well as incompetent.'

Footnote:
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