Get the right computer - 1
Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't
work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, You've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't
got a computer. It's
in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
Get the right computer - 2
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
Change of Mind
Customer: I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don't want my wife to think that it's me.'
Advisor: 'I will remove them for you.'
Customer: 'How do I get them back when
she is not in?'
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't
get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's
Tech support: That doesn't
sound good; I'll make a
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't
inserted it into the computer yet... it's
still on my desk... sorry....
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that
it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Touch and Go
Customer: I have
a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a'
in the address, but how do I get
the circle around it?
Customer: My 14 year-old son has put a password
on my computer and I can't get in.
Advisor: Has he forgotten it?
Customer: No he just won't tell me it because I've grounded him.
Customer: 'How do you spell 'Internet America'
? Is there a space between 'inter'
Tech Support: 'No space between 'inter'
Customer: 'Ok. A-M-E-R-I-C-K?'
Tech Support: 'That's
Tech Support: 'A as in apple'
Customer: I met a man on the internet, can you give me his phone number?
See more on internet humour.
Customer Tech Support - Network Engineeer
Will and Guy's
- Tech Support Jokes
We have selected the best ten Tech Support Jokes. They were take by advisors at BT, HP and Dell.
1) Customer: 'My disk ran out of space when trying to save my Word document, so I changed it from double spaced to single spaced and it still wouldn't
2) Advisor: 'Press any key to continue.
Customer: I can't find the 'Any' key.
3) Great Vision3a) Tech Support: 'Ok, in the bottom left of the screen, can you see the 'OK'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
3b) Advisor: Can you click on 'My Computer'?
Customer: I don't have your computer, just mine.
3c) Advisor: You have Spyware on your machine which is causing the problem.
Customer: Spyware? Can they see me getting dressed through the monitor?
3d) Customer: My family in Australia use BT Softphone, I can see them but they can't see me.
Advisor: What brand is
Customer: What's a webcam?
4) No Saving Grace
Customer: 'All my files I saved last week to my C: drive are missing!'
Tech Support: 'Do you remember what directory you
first saved them in?'
Customer: 'No, I don't
. I just know it was on my C: drive.'
Tech Support: 'Ok, I'll walk you through how to find the files.'
Customer: 'I wouldn't
think I would be losing
files on this computer. Gee, I just had the hard drive replaced in it yesterday.'
5) Tricky Install
Customer: 'Do I need a computer to use your software?'
Tech Support: 'Ok, I can help you install the software. Would you like me to do that?'
Tech Support: 'All right, can you
insert the disk in the disk drive please?'
Tech Support: 'Place the disk in the opening at the front of the computer.'
Customer: 'Will I have to have my computer delivered before
we can do this'
Tech Support: 'Um yes, that might be an idea.'
My iPod will only play one song.
Advisor: Which other tracks have you downloaded from iTunes?
Customer: Do I need to download tracks?
7) Tech Support: 'Have you made backups of
your software and data?'
Customer: 'I didn't
know it had a reverse.'
8) Customer: How do I change channel on my
Advisor: Your monitor won't have channels like a TV.
Customer: But I was watching the internet channel the other day and now I just get the word processing channel.
My mouse mat isn't wired up.
Advisor: I'm not sure I understand, your mouse mat shouldn't have any wires.
Customer: Well how does it know where my mouse is? Is it wireless?
Another Batch of Funny
Give Microsoft a chance
Customer: 'I'm having trouble installing
Tech Support: 'Tell me what You've done.'
Customer: 'I typed A:SETUP.'
Tech Support: 'Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.'
Customer: 'It says [PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'.
Tech Support: 'Insert the MS Word setup disk.'
Tech Support: 'Did you buy Microsoft Word?'
Support: 'Thank you for calling. May I have your phone number beginning with area code first, please?'
There was a pregnant pause, then a series of touch tones.
Tech Support: 'Hello? I need your
phone number, please'. More touch tones.
Tech Support: 'Hi, can you hear me?'
Tech Support: 'Great, then can you please tell me your phone number so I can pull up your file?'
More touch tones.
Tech Support: 'Sir, what's
Tech Support: 'Great, now can you tell me your phone number?'
Touch tones again.
Tech Support: 'Please, tell me your
Tech Support: 'Yes sir, if you don't
mind, but can you please just tell me verbally?'
Touch tones yet again.
Tech Support: 'Sir, contrary to popular opinion,
support is not half machine. I'll need you to verbally tell me your phone number with your mouth so I can bring up your account info, got it?'
Customer: 'You people are rude as well as incompetent.'
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