- I'm Gonna be a Bear
- Naughty bears
- Bears Lose Frisbee
- Bear Shocks Patients
- Funny Bear Story
- The Atheist and the Bear Story
- Bear-feeder caught on camera
- Hunter finds first wild 'Polargrizz'
- Interesting Facts About Bears
- Bear Bird-feeder
Sponsored Links
∇I'm Gonna be a ear
In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

Bear Shocks Patients
Patients at a medical clinic were shocked to see a new patient one Friday morning, when a hungry, young black bear walked in through an automatic door without disturbing anyone. The 125-pound male bear who was probably hungry from a winter of hibernation, wandered into the Presbyterian Medical Group gastroenterology laboratory, a relatively small building off one the main roads in Rio Rancho, north of Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA, in the early morning hours.Bears Lose Frisbee
Bears are nosey animals, but this time we think they're working together to find their lost frisbee.
Naughty Bears
In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while
in the field. We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't
expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an
encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear poop. Black bear poop is smaller and
contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear poop is larger and has little bells in it and smells like pepper. See the bear-feeder caught on cameraFunny Grizzly Bear Story
Two guys were walking in the woods one day when they came across a bear. The bear noticed them and started growling and generally getting really mean. It started to chase one of the guys, who, as it turns out, was from Czechoslovakia. Unfortunately, the bear soon caught up with him, and ate him alive.
More Funny Bear Stories
Come and join
me - but please bring your picnic! 
Two backpackers, Ted and his mate John were tramping through the woods
when, to their horror, they saw a large ferocious looking bear sitting at
the picnic table they had chosen on which to eat their lunch. Ted,
although dismayed, immediately removes his heavy hiking boots and starts to
puts on his running shoes. John, equally concerned, calls out, 'Hey, Ted. You're wasting your time.
You'll never outrun that bear, so why are you putting those on?' 'Aha,' replies Ted quickly, 'You see, John, I don't have to outrun the
bear, I only have to outrun you.' Oh dear: A bear walks into a bar and demands, 'I want a large rum and
........................... a coke.' George, the barman enquires, 'What's with the huge pause?'
The
bear answers, 'Oh, them, I've had them all my life.'
Bear Encounter
A middle school teacher, from Missoula, Montana, USA, suffered bruising
to his ribs, his ego and received large scratch on his back after he rode
into a black bear while cycling to school earlier this week. Mr Jim Litz
said he was travelling about 25 mph when he came upon a rise and spotted a
black bear about 10 feet in front of him. He didn't have time to stop and
drove into the animal. Will and Guy have learned that he then tumbled over the handlebars;
whereby his helmet hit the bear's back and the two went cart wheeling down
the road. The bear rolled over Litz's head, cracking his helmet, and
scratching his back before quickly scarpering away up a hill above the road. Fortunately for Mr Litz, his wife drove by shortly after the crash and
was able to take her husband to hospital. We believe that he will be able to
return to teaching science at Target Range Middle School by the end of this
week.Judith Malloch Photographs
Bears

Holiday Bear Has Fun 
Guests staying at the Best Western Twin Peaks Motel in Ouray, Colorado, USA,
received a shock when 'a cute, little cinnamon bear' strolled into the hotel
grounds and climbed into the swimming pool with them. The motel manager informed us that the bear appeared to enjoy its dip and was
no danger to the other guests; apparently it is not uncommon for bears to wander
across the motel's grounds as it borders on the wilderness.Berlin Zoo Bear Makes a Friend
An association between an Asian black bear and a cat is still bearing up well after seven years and has blossomed into a lifelong friendship Will and Guy have discovered. The pair have been friends since Muschi the cat strolled into Mausi the bear's enclosure at Berlin Zoo, Germany, in 2001. We have learned that the black bear had been suffering from depression prior to meeting up with the friendly black feline. The zoo's caretaker, Thomas Dvrflein, added, 'Muschi entered the enclosure of Mausi nearly seven years ago and started to eat the food in the enclosure. She was accepted straight away and they have been inseparable ever since, sharing food, cuddling and spending their days together.'Listen: Do Not Feed The Bears
A visitor to a zoo, who was worse for wear from drinking too much
alcohol, was badly injured trying to hand feed a caged bear. The rather
silly man from Shandong Province was freed from the bear's grasp after
keepers rushed to help. Zoo officials indicated to Will and Guy that the man's actions
foolish in the extreme. He had apparently ignored warning signs
instructing him not to feed the animals or reach into their cages. 'If you ignore the safety warnings, you must take full responsibility
for the consequences,' a zoo official told us. You couldn't make it up. See more funny Chinese
short storiesHunter finds first wild 'Polargrizz'
A DNA test on a bear has confirmed what Inuit trackers in the far northern of Canada have claimed of for years; namely the first proven case of a cross between a grizzly, Ursus arctos and polar bear, Ursus maritimus in the wild. Roger Kuptana, an Inuit tracker from the Northwest Territories, suspected the American hunter he was guiding had shot a hybrid bear after noticing its white fur was spotted brown and it had the long claws and slightly humped back of a grizzly Tests confirmed that a bear killed by a US hunter in Canada's far north last month is the first Grizzly-Polar bear cross ever discovered in the wild. 'It actually is a hybrid, 'Judy McLinton, a spokeswoman for the Northwest Territories' environment and natural resources department in Yellowknife, said. Jim Martell, 65, who paid $A58,400 to hunt Polar bears, shot the animal on April 16. The creature has been described by local media as a 'pizzly', a 'grolar bear', and - Mr Martell's favourite - a 'polargrizz' .
Geneticists have linked the two species. They believe Grizzly bears ventured north some 250,000
years ago to hunt seals and that their fur turned white over time.
Interesting Facts About Bears
- One of the most curious collective nouns is a 'sleuth of bears'. Will and Guy cannot immediately see the connection between tracking and a group of bears. We wonder what they could be seeking, tracking or discovering?
- Statistically, more people are killed by lightning strikes than by grizzly bears. Taking the USA as an example, although deaths by bears attacking people are on the increase, they account for no more than 4 deaths per year compared with about 70 for lightning. In the UK, on average 3 people each year are killed by lightning, but none by bears.
- The term 'bear' is correctly applied to at least five completely
different species. To distinguish between these different
bears, we need an adjective or epithet. There is the North American
grizzly bear, Ursus arctos and its close relative the polar bear, Ursus maritimus.
Then there is the panda (bear), Ailuropoda melanoleuca and also the Asiatic
black bear, Selenarctos thibetanus. If you visit South America you may be
fortunate and see the
spectacled bear, Tremarctos ornatus. Finally in India there is the sloth,
which is really a bear called, Melursus ursinus. The Koala bear is of
course a marsupial.
- The male bear is called the boar, and the female the sow, their offspring are called are cubs.
- The brown bear eats a lot of fish, this is one of the reasons that it's the largest land carnivore. If you are ever confronted by a brown bear, you better out-smart it because bears run faster than you can.
- Surprisingly, acorns are one of the black bear's favourite foods. As soon as a bear has fattened up, it starts spying the land for a suitable hide-away to hibernate.
- In the autumn bears eat all that they can to put on weight for the long winter's hibernation. An average woman eats about 1,600 calories a day. Whereas a female bear scoffs 15,000 calories per day. Naturally bears drink a great deal to wash down all this food.