Funny Baseball Jokes

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

• Ten Baseball Jokes
• Yogi Berra Funny Baseball Sayings
• Funny Baseball Stories
• Baseball Supporter
• Top Ten Interesting Baseball Facts

Ten Baseball
Jokes Kindly Sent by David Sowards

1. Billy Martin once had four doubles in a game, but then
   he ran out of liquor!
2. One official made so many bad calls, he was nicknamed,
   “The Dumpire.”
3. One batter specialized in hit-and-run plays. His
   problem was that he used his car!
4. Another player led his team in steals before he got
   nabbed for burglary.
5. I used to collect bats, but I got rid of them when they
   started biting!
6. One pitcher, Joe Niekro, was called the Little Shaver.
   That wasn’t because he was short, but because of what he did to the
   balls!
7. There once was a pitcher so bad, the crowd started
   singing Take Him Out of The Ball Game!
8. One hit struck a chicken. Now that was a real “fowl
   ball!”
9. Will Pete Rose get into the Hall of Fame? Well, maybe
   the Gambler’s Hall of Fame or the Liar’s Hall of Fame!
10. Once, when Bush was president, he went to a game
    and they asked him if he wanted to throw out the First Pitch. He agreed
    and tossed Laura out onto the field!

Yogi Berra Funny
Baseball Sayings

Yogi Berra it has to be said
developed a style of homespun humor all of his own.  It’s also worth
remembering that Yogi was a baseball legend with New York Yankees back in
the 1950’s.  And he still holds the record for winning the most World
Series.

• Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.
• Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?
• It’s like déjà vu all over again.
• It ain’t over ’til it’s over.
• Never answer an anonymous letter.
• His wife Carmen asked Yogi where he would like to be buried, to
  which he replied, “Surprise me!”

More Funny Baseball Jokes

Clean, Funny and Amusing Baseball Jokes and Stories

Intro
At Jack Russell Stadium in Clearwater, Florida, on June 26th 1985,
organist Wilbur Snapp played “Three Blind Mice” following a call by umpire
Keith O’Connor.  The umpire was not amused, and saw to it that Mr. Snapp was
ejected from the game.

Say It Again
After being snubbed from the All-Star game by Boston manager Darrell
Johnson, Baltimore’s Jim Palmer claimed he was misquoted for calling Johnson
an idiot.

‘I did not call Johnson an idiot. Someone else did and I just agreed,’
Palmer said.

Foul Play?
Pirates manager Danny Murtaugh couldn’t resist a jab at Dick Stuart.  After the public address announcer warned fans that
“Anyone who interferes with the ball in play will be ejected from the
ballpark,” Murtaugh replied, ‘I hope Stuart doesn’t think that means him.’

Ruth or DiMaggio?
Bill walks into a bar with a dog.
The bartender says, ‘You can’t bring that dog in here.’

‘You don’t understand,’ says Bill. ‘This is no regular dog, he can talk.’

‘Listen, pal,’ says the bartender. ‘If that dog can
talk, I’ll give you a hundred bucks.’
Bill puts the dog on a stool, and
asks him,
‘What’s on top of a house?’
‘Roof!’

‘Right. And what’s on the outside of a tree?’
‘Bark!’

‘And who’s the greatest baseball player of all time?’
‘Ruth!’

‘I guess you’ve heard enough,’ says the
man. ‘I’ll take the hundred in twenties.’

The bartender is furious,
‘Listen, pal,’ he says, ‘get out of here before I belt you.’  As soon as
they’re on the street, the dog turns to Bill and says, ‘Bill, do you think I
should have said “DiMaggio”?’

More Funny Baseball Stories

Ross Knows His Tables

One morning in elementary school, the students were going to a geography
class. The teacher wanted to show the students where cities and states are.

The teacher asks the class, ‘Does anyone know where Pittsburgh is?’

Francis raises up his hand and says, ‘Yeah, Pennsylvania.’
The teacher
replies, ‘Very good, Francis, now can anyone tell me were Detroit is?’

Rachel raises her hand and says, ‘That’s in Michigan.’
The teacher
again says, ‘Very good, Rachel.’

Trying to confuse the children, she now asks, ‘Where’s Kansas City?’
Ross raises his hand and says, ‘Oh, oh, pick me, I know?’

The teacher says, ‘OK, Ross where is Kansas City?’
‘Last place.’

Top Ten Interesting Baseball Facts and Trivia

1. Fidel Castro was
   once a star baseball player for the University of Havana, Cuba.
2. In 1965,
   the minimum annual salary for a baseball player was $6,000, just a thousand
   dollars more than it had been in 1947.
3. A regulation baseball has 108
   stitches.
4. The very first baseball game was played on 19th June 1845,
   across the Hudson River in Hoboken, New York, USA.
5. In baseball, a “can
   of corn” refers to a fly ball that is easy to catch.
6. Robert Redford
   attended the University of Colorado on a baseball scholarship.
7. In July
   1934, Babe Ruth paid a fan $20 dollars for the return of the baseball he hit
   for his 700th career home run.
8. In an effort to sell more licensed
   apparel, minor-league baseball teams were changing their names so often that
   the sport’s governing body now limits franchises to team name changes every
   three years. Please note Premier League Soccer in the UK say Will and Guy.
9. The Metropolitan Museum of Art, in New York, houses the largest collection
   of baseball cards: 200,000.
10. The first perfect nine innings baseball game
    was achieved by John Lee Richmond on 12th June 1880.

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Another Funny Baseball Joke

The Baseball Supporter

‘I am a Yankees fan,’ a first-grade teacher explains to her class. ‘Who
likes the Yankees?’

Everyone raises a hand except one little girl. ‘Janie,’ the teacher says,
surprised. ‘Why didn’t you raise your hand?’

‘I’m not a Yankees fan.’

‘Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then what team do you like?’
‘The Red Sox,’ Janie answers.

‘Why in the world are you a Red Sox fan?’
‘Because my mom and dad are
Red Sox fans.’

‘That’s no reason to be a Red Sox fan,’ the teacher replies, annoyed.
‘You don’t always have to be just like your parents. What if your mom and
dad were morons? What would you be then?’

‘A Yankees fan.’

Further Amusing and Fascinating Baseball Facts

• In 1897, the Washington
  Senators became the first baseball team ever to introduce “Ladies’ Day.”
• Baseball star Babe Ruth was born George Herman Ruth.  He played in 2503 games
  and had a lifetime batting average of .342.
• Mike Schmidt earned the first
  $500,000 salary in baseball in 1977.
• When the National League first
  started in 1876, pitchers had to pitch underhand and the batter could
  request a high or low pitch. Strikes only occurred if the batter swung and
  missed.
• In 1910 the cork centre was added to the official baseball.
• Cal Ripken Jr., shortstop for the Baltimore Orioles, didn’t miss a game in 16
  years.
• The American Baseball League was formed in 1882. Giants baseball
  catcher Roger Bresnahan introduced shin guards in 1907.
• In 1885 the
  baseball bat was allowed to have one flat side.
• In 1876 an umpire was
  allowed to asked spectators and players whether a catch had been fairly made
  if he did not see it himself.
• Previous to 1931, fly balls that
  bounced over or through the outfield fence were considered home runs.
• The
  New York Yankees have won more World Series titles than any other team with
  26.
• Barry Bonds holds the single-season home run record with 73.

Footnote:

Please send Will and Guy your favorite
baseball jokes and funny stories.