Jokes, stories quotes about soccer

In this section we feature football
jokes, quotes and strange but true stories.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length.  It's
like a human jumping the length of a football field.

Soccer Origin

The word soccer is derived from an abbreviation of association as in - Association Football.  In 1890 it was spelt variously as socca and socker.   One day Charles Wreford-Brown was leaving
his digs, dressed in sporting togs, when his friend enquired '
where are you off?'
I'm off to play football'
Charles said.

'Association or Rugger'
the friend asked. 'Why Soccer of course'
,
said Charles Wreford-Brown as jogged off to the game.

Bear in mind that in this era upper class sportsman had a fad of
adding 'er'
to everything.  Rugby became rugger and socca became soccer.  Incidentally, my favourite example of this patois is Pragger Wagger, a slang word for the Prince of Wales (Later Edward VII).

Here are examples from our football pages

Players Quotes

• '
  I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my
  fault, but 9 of which were disputable. '
  Paul Gascoigne

• 'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. '
  Stuart Pearce

• '
  I'd like to play for an Italian
  club, like Barcelona. '
  Mark Draper

• '
  If you don't

  concede any goals you'
  ll win more games than you lose. '
  Wayne Bridge

• '
  I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body'
  (Winston Bennett)

• See more players Quotes

Footballer's
Nicknames

Franz Beckenbauer = The Kaiser (Led West Germany and Bayern Munich to many triumphs. A skilful and thoughtful player)

Stuart Pearce =
Psycho (Would run through a brick wall for his team)
See more nicknames

Commentary to look out for:

• '
  He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't
  like it - you can see it all over their faces'
  - Ron Atkinson

• When Ian Rush transferred from Chester to Liverpool he said, 'It was like moving to a foreign country'
  .  People only took notice of Ian's
  views when he said a similar thing after he moved from
  Liverpool to Juventus. 'I could not settle, it was like being in a foreign country'
  .
• '
  Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds - totally against the run of play'
  (Peter Lorenzo)
• '
  What will you do when you leave football, Jack - will you stay in football?'
  STUART HALL, Radio 5 Live