A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his

colleagues asked him how it had been. 'Oh, it was very disappointing,' he said.  'I didn't kill a thing. I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital.'

• Comic Doctor Cartoons
• Funny Doctor Quotes
• Beware of Your Doctor Uttering These Phrases
• Doctor Humour - Keep Taking The Pills?

Plastic Surgeon Gossip

 

Funny Doctor Caricature

 

Doctor's Diagnosis

More Comic Doctor Cartoons

Funny Doctor Quotes

• The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
• A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek.  He gave her a lobotomy.  Joan Rivers
• The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the paediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
• The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
• My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.  Ronnie Shakes
• After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'. - Larry Brown.
• See more funny medical quotes.

More Funny Doctor's Cartoons

Beware of Your Doctor Uttering These Phrases During Surgery

1. Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
2. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
3. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
4. Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
5. ...and could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off
6. Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
7. Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint.  However, luckily for you, I happen to be a quack.
8. FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out! See more doctor jokes

More Doctor Humour - Keep Taking The Pills?

One morning, Arnie went to see his doctor and told him that he hadn't been feeling at all well. The doctor examined Arnie, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. Looking at Arnie he says, 'Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.' Startled to be put on so much medicine, the man stammered, 'L...........L.......L.........Lummee, Doc, exactly what is my problem?' The doctor replied, 'Arnie, you're not drinking enough water.' Footnote: Please write to Will and Guy if you have a funny doctor cartoon.