A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, hiscolleagues asked him how it had been. 'Oh, it was very disappointing,' he said. 'I didn't kill a thing. I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital.'
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Plastic Surgeon Gossip
Funny Doctor Caricature
Who To Trust? Doctor or Google?If you trust Google more than your doctor than maybe it's time to switch doctors. Jadelr and Cristina Cordova
- The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
- A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy. Joan Rivers
- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the paediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
- The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. Ronnie Shakes
- After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'. - Larry Brown.
- See more funny medical quotes.
More Funny Doctor's Cartoons
Quick DiagnosisNurse: 'Doctor, Doctor the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step. What should I do?' Doctor: 'Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!'
- Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
- Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
- ...and could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off
- Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
- Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint. However, luckily for you, I happen to be a quack.
- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out! See more doctor jokes
Doctors and Quacks In Britain today, there are about 50,000 practitioners of alternative medicine, but only about 30,000 qualified doctors.Footnote: Please write to Will and Guy if you have a funny doctor cartoon.