- Insulting Humour About the French
- Funny, Clean French Jokes and Cartoons
- Five Favourite French Funnies
- Light Hearted Quotations About France
Insulting Humour About The French
The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement, 'We at the French's Company wish to put an end to statements that our product is manufactured in France. There is no relationship, nor has there ever been a relationship, between our mustard and the country of France. Indeed, our mustard is manufactured in Rochester, NY. The only thing we have in common is that we are both yellow.'
Why wouldn't the Statue of Liberty work in France? Because she has only one arm raised.
What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The Army.
Do you know what's the difference between a chimpanzee and a Frenchman?
One of them is hairy, stinky, and scratches his bottom all the time.
The other is a chimpanzee.
Funny, Clean French Jokes and Cartoons
- Mick was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door. 'God bless Mummy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Rennes the capital of France.' 'Mick,' said his father, 'why do you want Rennes to be the capital of France?' 'Because that's what I wrote in my geography exam.'
- Which ghost was president of France? Charles de Ghoul'
- What is the Guillotine? A French chopping centre.
Incredible Image Captured from Underneath the Eiffel Tower


Frog cartoon by JC
Rabbit Problem
A Further Five Favourite Funnies Found in France
- The firm Hunt-Wesson introduced its "Big John" products in French Canada as "Gros Jos" before finding out that the phrase, in slang, means "big bosoms". Apparently the name problem did not have a noticeable effect on sales of their product.
- Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious pornographic magazine.
- Seen in a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
- Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
- In a Chambres d'Hôtes in Brittany, France: "The genuine antics in your room come from our family castle. Long life to it." And.... "Please avoid coca watering, cream cleaning, wet towels wrapping, and ironing drying."
Classic Examples of Franglais Phrases
Coup de grace - A lawn mower.
La deviation pour chauffeur de camion - My driver likes camels.
Moi aussi - I am an Australian.
Pas de deux? - Father of twins?
Mange tout - You're pretty mangy yourself.
Pain prune - I cut myself with the secateurs.
Chaussee deformer? - Are you a contortionist?
Parke le char - My tea is cold.
Suivez la piste - Never mind, follow that drunk!
Light Hearted Quotations About France
- An old saying: Raise your right hand if you like the French. Raise both hands if you are French.
- How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.
- I would rather have a German division in front
of me than a French one behind me. - General George S. Patton
- Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion. - Norman Scwartzkopf
- Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.
Funny Items Spotted By Will on his Holiday in France
Folies Berbères


Guy: How do you get a French waiter's attention?
Will: Start ordering in German.
Sign Found in a Hotel Room
In Case of Fire in Your Room: Keep calm, don't yell 'Fire. Attack the centre of blaze with fire extinguisher without exposing yourself.Défense De Fumer?
Found in a café in France and quite obviously an old sign. Will has found that in rural France the smoking ban is not always adhered to.
French Team Training
