Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff. Frank Zappa
The days of the digital watch are numbered. Tom Stoppard
February Zodiac Signs
February Zodiac Signs with Approximate Dates
Sign
Symbol
Dates
Water Carrier
January 20 – February 18
Fish
February 19 – March 20
February Birthstone Amethyst
February’s Lucky Objects
Lucky Car – Dodge Caliber
Lucky Card – Jack of Diamonds
Lucky Ring – Amethyst
Lucky Sandwich – Peanut
Lucky Sausage – Chorizo
Lucky Cat – Felix
Lucky Dog – Dazzler
Lucky Title – Earl
Lucky Horse – Trigger
Lucky Tool – Spanner
Lucky Drink – Creme de menthe
Lucky Pear – Comice
Lucky Supermarket – Wal-Mart
Lucky Butter – Lurpak
Lucky Battery – Duracell
Lucky Sport – Pancake Racing
Lucky Island – Ireland
Lucky Cheese – Edam
Lucky Fruit – Raspberry
Lucky Screw – Pozidriv
Lucky Fish – Guppy
Lucky Tea – Assam
Lucky Samosa – Ghee
February’s Sayings
The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else. Umberto Eco
We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years. Nick Faldo
Art is science made clear.
March Zodiac Signs
Zodiac Signs for March with Approximate Dates
Sign
Symbol
Dates
Fish
February 19 – March 20
Ram
March 21 – April 19
March Birthstone Aquamarine
March’s Lucky Objects
Lucky Ring – Stonehenge
Lucky Card – Ten of Diamonds
Lucky Finger – Chocolate
Lucky Sausage – Bockwurst
Lucky Car – Dinky
Lucky Pie – Blackbird
Lucky Cat – Su Duko
Lucky Kebab – Shish
Lucky Banana – Windward Islands
Lucky Punch – Champagne
Lucky Title – Cannon
Lucky Sport – Horse Racing (Cheltenham)
Lucky Horse –
Lucky Dog – Trap 1
Lucky Tool – Ring spanner
Lucky Drink – Tequila Moonrise
Lucky Pear – Rocha
Lucky Supermarket – Waitrose
Lucky Island – Alcatraz
Lucky Cheese – Cheddar
Lucky Fish – Shark
Lucky Printer – Caxton
Lucky Lord – Lucan
Lucky Perfume – Chanel No 19
Lucky Sandwich – Lettuce
Lucky Car – Bugatti
March’s Sayings
‘There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.’ Cyril Connolly
‘Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.’ Aldous Huxley
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. Alfred Lord Tennyson
April Zodiac Signs
Signs and Approximate Dates
Sign
Symbol
Dates
Ram
March 21 – April 19
Bull
April 20 – May 20
April Birthstone Diamond
April’s Lucky Objects
Lucky Card – Ace of Diamonds
Lucky Whisky – Grants
Lucky Ring – Taurus
Lucky Sandwich – Marmalade
Lucky Sausage – Salami
Lucky Soup – Asparagus
Lucky Cat – Bilko
Lucky Dog – Fido
Lucky Title – Earl
Lucky Horse – Silver Birch
Lucky Tool – Wrench
Lucky Drink – Dandelion and Burdock
Lucky Pear – William
Lucky Supermarket – Tesco
Lucky Sport – Horse Racing
Lucky Island – Jersey
Lucky Cheese – Wensledale
Lucky Fish – Gold
Lucky Pie – Cherry
Lucky Printer – Flat Bed
Lucky Finger – Pinkie
Lucky Car – Dinky
April’s Sayings
‘Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.’ Arthur Schopenhauer
‘It is nobler to declare oneself wrong than to insist on being right – especially when one is right.’ Friedrich Nietzsche
‘When you come to a fork in the road, take it.’ Yogi Berra
May Zodiac Signs
Signs and Approximate Dates
Sign
Symbol
Dates
Bull
May 20 – May 20
Twins
May 21 – June 20
May Birthstone Emerald
May’s Lucky Objects
Lucky Fairy – Tooth
Lucky Card – Seven of Diamonds
Lucky Cup – Butter
Lucky Whisky – Jim Beam
Lucky Ring – Wedding
Lucky Sandwich – Egg and Cress
Lucky Cat – Whiskers
Lucky Dog – Darth Vader
Lucky Title – Canon
Lucky Horse – Adagio
Lucky Jockey – Frankie
Lucky Tool – Hammer
Lucky Drink – Ginger Beer
Lucky Banana – Windward Islands
Lucky Supermarket – Waitrose
Lucky Sport – Backgammon
Lucky Island – Greenland
Lucky Cheese – Roquefort
Lucky Fish – Pike
Lucky Queen – Bee
Lucky Pie – Desperate Dan
Lucky Printer – Epson
Lucky Finger – Ring
Lucky Car – Nascar
Lucky Bank – Sandbank
May’s Sayings
Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds. Samuel Butler
The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterward. Arthur Koestler
People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure. Russell Baker
June Zodiac Signs
Signs and Approximate Dates
Sign
Symbol
Dates
Twins
May 21 – June 20
Crab
June 21 – July 22
June Birthstone Moonstone
June’s Lucky Objects
Lucky Fairy – Tooth
Lucky Card – Queen of Sheba
Lucky Cup – Butter
Lucky Whisky – Bells
Lucky Ring –
Lucky Sandwich – Bacon and Tomato
Lucky Cat – Top Cat
Lucky Dog – Trap 1
Lucky Title – Duke
Lucky Horse – Chinese Whisper
Lucky Jockey – Willy
Lucky Tool – Anvil
Lucky Drink – Cider
Lucky Banana – Fyffes
Lucky Supermarket – Boots
Lucky Sport – Football
Lucky Island – Hispaniola
Lucky Cheese – Cheddar
Lucky Fish – Haddock
Lucky Queen – Bess
Lucky Pie – 3.1428
Lucky Printer – InkJet
Lucky Finger – Chocolate
Lucky Car – Skoda
June’s Sayings
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock. Will Rogers
You know, you can’t please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show. Mitch Hedberg
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Napoleon Bonaparte
July Zodiac Signs
Signs and Approximate Dates
Sign
Symbol
Dates
Crab
June 21 – July 22
Lion
July 22 – August 22
July’s Birthstone Ruby
July’s Lucky Objects
Lucky Card – Jack of Diamonds
Lucky Cup – China
Lucky Whisky – Moonshine
Lucky Ring – Bull
Lucky Sandwich – Guacamole and Oranges
Lucky Cat – Cedric
Lucky Dog – Bassett
Lucky Title – Gone with the Wind
Lucky Horse – Naggo
Lucky Jockey – Freddie
Lucky Tool – Drill
Lucky Drink – Milk
Lucky Banana – Skid-row
Lucky Supermarket – FranPrix
Lucky Sport – Golf
Lucky Team – Italy
Lucky Island – New Zealand
Lucky Cheese – Edam
Lucky Fish – Eel
Lucky Queen – Elizabeth
Lucky Pie – Blackberry
Lucky Printer – Amazon
Lucky Finger – Middle
Lucky Car – Jaguar
July’s Sayings
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then have the two as close together as possible. Â George Burns
It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system. Dan Quayle
‘A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.’ Thomas Mann
August Zodiac Signs
Signs and Approximate Dates
Sign
Symbol
Dates
Lion
July 22 – August 22
Virgin
August 23 – September 22
August’s Birthstone Peridot
August’s Lucky Objects
Lucky Cereal – Porridge
Lucky Card – Two of Clubs
Lucky Cup – Ryder
Lucky Whisky – Irish
Lucky Ring – Boxing
Lucky Sandwich – Cucumber
Lucky Soup – Mushroom
Lucky Cat – Bobby
Lucky Dog – Trap 1
Lucky Title – Earl
Lucky Horse – Bonzo
Lucky Jockey – Eddie
Lucky Tool – Scissors
Lucky Drink – Shandy
Lucky Banana – Fyffes
Lucky Supermarket – Morrisons
Lucky Sport – Croquet
Lucky Team – Cardinals
Lucky Island – Iceland
Lucky Cheese – Feta
Lucky Fish – Hake
Lucky Queen – Jane
Lucky Pie – Blackberry
Lucky Printer – Epson
Lucky Finger – Chocolate
Lucky Car – Ka
August Sayings
‘A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.’ George Bernard Shaw
We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true. Robert Wilensky
‘If you haven’t found something strange during the day, it hasn’t been much of a day.’ John A. Wheeler
September Zodiac Signs
Signs and Approximate Dates
Sign
Symbol
Dates
Virgin
August 23 – September 22
Scales
September 23 – October 22
September’s Birthstone Sapphire
September’s Lucky Objects
Lucky Card – Nine of Diamonds
Lucky Cup – Chalice
Lucky Whisky – Bells
Lucky Ring – Engagement
Lucky Sandwich – Tuna
Lucky Cat – Richard
Lucky Dog – Trap 6
Lucky Title – Cannon
Lucky Horse – Silver Wings
Lucky Jockey – Pete
Lucky Tool – Spanner
Lucky Drink – Lemonade
Lucky Banana – Green
Lucky Supermarket – Waitrose
Lucky Sport – Cricket
Lucky Team – Surrey
Lucky Island – Malta
Lucky Cheese – Camembert
Lucky Fish – Jellied Eel
Lucky Queen – Helena
Lucky Pie – Blueberry
Lucky Printer – Oki
Lucky Finger – Index
Lucky Car – Rolls Royce
September’s Sayings
‘A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.’ George Bernard Shaw
We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true. Robert Wilensky
‘If you haven’t found something strange during the day, it hasn’t been much of a day.’ John A. Wheeler
October Zodiac Signs
Signs and Approximate Dates
Sign
Symbol
Dates
Scales
October 23 – October 22
Scorpion
October 23 – November 21
October’s Birthstone Opal
October’s Lucky Objects
Lucky Sausage – Chorizo
Lucky Toothpaste – Colgate
Lucky Card – Knave of Spades
Lucky Cup – Demitasse
Lucky Whiskey – Jamesons
Lucky Ring – Wedding
Lucky Sandwich – Jam
Lucky Soup – Gazpacho
Lucky Cat – Siamese
Lucky Dog – Trap 3
Lucky Title – Sir
Lucky Sport – NFL
Lucky Team – Saints
Lucky Horse – Black Bess
Lucky Jockey – John
Lucky Tool – Rake
Lucky Pie – Gooseberry
Lucky Cheese – Cheddar
Lucky Fish – Cod
Lucky Drink – Earl Grey Tea
Lucky Banana – Windward Islands
Lucky Supermarket – Tesco
Lucky Island – Haiti
Lucky Queen – Elizabeth
Lucky Printer – Canon
Lucky Finger – Pinky
Lucky Car – Mercedes
October’s Sayings
Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision. Blake Clark
Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless. Thomas A. Edison
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Walter Bagehot
November Zodiac Signs
Signs and Approximate Dates
Sign
Symbol
Dates
Scorpion
October 23 – November 21
Bowman
November 22 – December 21
November’s Birthstone Topaz
November’s Lucky Objects
Lucky Sausage – Salami
Lucky Toothpaste – Aquafresh
Lucky Card – Two of clubs
Lucky Cup – Chalice
Lucky Whisky – Glenfiddich
Lucky Ring – Wrestling
Lucky Sandwich – Cucumber
Lucky Soup – Mushroom
Lucky Cat – Thomas
Lucky Dog – Fido
Lucky Title – Canon
Lucky Horse – Black Rocket
Lucky Jockey – Max
Lucky Tool – Forceps
Lucky Drink – Sarsaparilla
Lucky Cheese – Gorgonzola
Lucky Fish – Halibut
Lucky Banana – Fyffes
Lucky Pie – Pumpkin
Lucky Supermarket – Mr Price
Lucky Sport – Darts
Lucky Team – Albion
Lucky Island – Isle of Man
Lucky Queen – Elizabeth
Lucky Printer – Epson
Lucky Finger – Ladies
Lucky Car – Skoda
November’s Sayings
Hollywood is a place where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. Marilyn Monroe
In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. Rita Rudner
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it’s their fault. Henry Kissinger
December Zodiac Signs
Signs and Approximate Dates
Sign
Symbol
Dates
Bowman
November 22 – December 21
Goat
December 22 – January 19
December’s Birthstone Turquoise
December’s Lucky Objects
Lucky Sausage – Chipolata
Lucky Card – King of Clubs
Lucky Cup – Stirrup
Lucky Whisky – Jack Daniels
Lucky Ring – Jingle Bells
Lucky Sandwich – Turkey
Lucky Cat – Tiddles
Lucky Dog – Trap 1
Lucky Title – Father
Lucky Horse – Rudolph
Lucky Jockey – Santa
Lucky Tool – Sellotape
Lucky Drink – Gluweins
Lucky Banana – Fyffes
Lucky Supermarket – Wal-Mart
Lucky Sport – Blind man’s bluff
Lucky Team – Huskies
Lucky Island – Iceland
Lucky Cheese – Roquefort
Lucky Fish – Salmon
Lucky Queen – Mary
Lucky Pie – Blackberry
Lucky Printer – Kyocera
Lucky Finger – Snow
Lucky Car – Sledge
December’s Sayings
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away. Philip K. Dick
The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing. Henry S. Haskins
If little else, the brain is an educational toy. Tom Robbins
Zodiac signs for the year – Birthstones
Sign
Symbol
Dates
Capricorn
Goat
December 22 – January 19
Aquarius
Water Bearer
January 20 – February 18
Pisces
Fish
February 19 – March 20
Aries
Ram
March 21 – April 19
Taurus
Bull
April 20 – May 20
Gemini
Twins
May 21 – June 20
Cancer
Crab
June 21 – July 22
Leo
Lion
July 23 – August 22
Virgo
Virgin
August 23 – September 22
Libra
Balance (Scales)
September 23 – October 22
Scorpio
Scorpion
October 23 – November 21
Sagittarius
Archer
November 22 – December 21
Monthly Birthstones
Birthstones were formerly linked to the Zodiac, but now birthstones are associated with a particular month. Many people believe that birthstones have magical powers that are passed onto the wearer of the gem.
